Richy this is a deadly serious question. Okay. Im not taking the mick or trying to have a laugh. You don't have to answer it, it's fairly personal, but if you can it might help, or start to help you in understanding the people you manage.
What was your family life like when you were growing up?
Was your family either a single parent family, a dysfunctional family, was there possibly a divorce concerning your parents, is there a history of drug or alcohol use? Did one of your parents run off?
What brothers and sisters do you have? And what do they do for work or a career? What was your education like? Couldn't be bothered with it? Loved it, excelled and achieved well academically? Just figured it was a bind, did what you could but didnt really think trying at school was likely to bring results?
Also, how well do you deal with responsibility? I get the impression you want to be in a position of responsibility but that doesn't mean either you or anyone else is any good at it. Do you like to think you could be in a position of responsibility but whenever that seems to start to happen something seems to come along and screw it all up? Something that is entirely out of your control perhaps just always seems to come along and knock your plans on the head? Unexplainably.
Do you sometimes feel you just seem to be a victim of unfortunate circumstances?
Anyway, give it a go perhaps. I dont blame you if you dont want to, but if you do its a healthy start to trying to get to the bottom of some of your management issues.