I'm 50 in 2 weeks and in all of my 50 years on Earth I've never been so exposed to poo

bird poo, dog poo, fly poo, spider poo, cat poo....
just got back from a little job and my trainers are effing caked in it from where some poxy moggie has had a dump in the flower bed.....
....right I'm having a beer

and chucking the trainers

Good job they're £9.99 Asda ones.