Nothing major Jeff in all seriousness. Certainly nothing in the same league as falling into a pond. Come on, admit it. Ya didn't fall into a pond. Or step into a pond. You went flying,t*ts up,turned around and commited the mother of all belly flops straight onto the owners prized £200 coi carp,whilst clinging on to dear life,dragged the family lamb into the pond with you. Oh rural life 
Walked............stepped..........whatever 
'OMG I've been sussed

so I am the only dick head on here

well you got one thing wrong :

it was the family goat, it seen me bent over (thank god he wasn't gay

) and took the longest run at me and head butted me, right on my a**e, I travelled about 20' through the air, I did manage say hello to the women next door who's windows I did the day before, she was hanging her washing out, 'Well you have to be polite don't you

she screamed and tripped over the washing basket, the basket flipped up and landed on the cat, who flew down the garden like a cruise missile, and crashed straight into the closed patio doors, that were so clean.

I had to laugh at that, because I hadn't seen any thing so funny since I landed t*ts up in a cusy's pond.

JM123 just read your post before posting this, thanks for getting me out of the s**t, and adding your name to the list of plonkers,

at least I didn't get tangled in my hose