[AuRavelling79]

The old Bailey, some time in 2011:- (Terry goes to court )

Court Bailiff: "All rise!"

M'Lud - To the prisoner at the bar:
"You are hereby charged that you did proclaim far and wide to all and sundry (and especially upon that electronic computing forum thingamy called cockitup, that you, to wit, one Terence Mugabe Scargill Burrows did falsify testimony to the effect that you are a) The world's fastest window cleaner and b) this damaged severely the reputation of Mr. Raggyt N. Runn, sponger of this parish. How do you plead?"

T.B.:- (Twisting cap in hands) "Not guilty m'Lud!"

Raggyt:- "He's guilty yer honour! I been round his gaff and watched him phoning the Guinness, the Fed, the BBC (their reporter's luvly mind) and all his mates!"

T.B. - I can assure you that as the fastest windy in the World and Preston North End that I am indeed guilty ...

Raggyt (foaming at the mouth) See! see! he had the temerity to admit it! Hang 'im yer worship!

T.B. - Let me finish - guilty, of nothing more than beating this lowlife scrubber fairly and squarely.

All in the court: (Hear, Hear! Yes; we luv you Terry!)

M'Lud:- I've heard enough (Sotto voce to bailiff - is my roast venison ready? Good! Good! Baaaarrrrrrhhh! Let's get this over with!) here is my verdict.

"Raggyt! Your method of window cleaning is out of date! Sponge indeed! That went out with the Toga and Chariot! You are hereby denounced and will be defrocked of your flat cap, roll-up and wooden ladder made from willow sticks and twine! Take him down!"

"And as for you Burrows! You're an anachronism too! Get yesen one of thees new fangled waterfed pole thingummies and join the 21st Century! Have you anything to say before I pass sentence!"

T.B. "You'll never defeat me! I'll keep the craft alive (with Stan the Man) and the BBC love me! (Almost as much as that golden luvly reporter on BBC "Look Oop North!") I'm the fastest ever and Guinness know it!"

He leaps from the dock, uses his pointer to reach an unguarded window and escapes into the waiting arms of the Fed representative and clambers aboard his mighty Royal Enfield and sidecar and escapes into the sunset...

Later on BBC Ooop North Like News:- (Miss Golden locks reporting from outside the Old Bailey)

"And there we have it! Although the burly Terry Burrows is now a fugitive we all know that he is the fastest windy in the World whatever the courts may say! Back to you in t'studio for the weather forecast."

Weather presenter: "Good for Terry! And I hope he has his brolly because it's yet more rain up here ..."



 

[paul rulton]

FLIPPIN HECK GOLD   
sa of the day goes 2u m8  lol 

[idealrob]

"back then it was done with a sponge and a squeegee,no one cleans this way" says Terry

Yes its called WFP, not trying to turn into wfp/trad debate, only having a laugh. What are the rules for Guiness

idealrob

[paul rulton]

"back then it was done with a sponge and a squeegee,no one cleans this way" says Terry
Yes its called WFP, not trying to turn into wfp/trad debate, only having a laugh. What are the rules for Guiness
idealrob

no ur not  : u just told me on the phone u were gonna turn this in WFP v TRAD 
u naughty boy  : 

[Terry_Burrows]

  very funny LOL I know the federation have these rules I am speaking to guinnness forarmed is forwarned : funny story

gold you should be a writer

[G Griffin]

"back then it was done with a sponge and a squeegee,no one cleans this way" says Terry

Yes its called WFP, not trying to turn into wfp/trad debate, only having a laugh. What are the rules for Guinessidealrob

The double pour method is recommended. And it should take about 2 minutes to pour a pint.
   Any drips should mopped up with a sponge and only a sponge.

[trevor perry]

i cant believe this record is taken so seriously anyway i always thought it was just a bit of fun amongst us window cleaners and has no significance in the way we clean on a daily basis anyway, i can see why terry is annoyed as he has put a lot of work in and gets some publicity from his efforts and it would be wrong for someone to try and pull a fast one to benifit from terrys efforts but i dont think anyone will take his accusations seriously anyway and even if they do i am sure terry could just offer a rematch to decide who is quickest and drum up some publicity with the story of the accusations i actually think this could benifit you terry.

[Terry_Burrows]

  just spoke to Guinness all is well I hope he does try to do me, Ker ching I hear money all his back in 1996 I broke his dads record thats what this is about :

[Terry_Burrows]

Trev the boys dad was invited years ago never showed up,what he dont understand is the rule changes he thinks its still done with the sponge Guinness are backing me 100%

[JSMC]

can aqnyone challenge for the record at any time?

[Terry_Burrows]

you have to have the regulation windows and the Federation have been reconized as Blessed by Guinness so to speak to judge I would
not be able to judge a world record time keep but not judge it thats where the federation come in go NEC next year in march

[Terry_Burrows]

  first his son now the man himself has come forward what the  he says now his going to do Guinness I have forwarded all the emails to Guinness

[actualcleaning]

Why cant guiness recognise his world record with the sponge and then your record in the new era with the mop?

[Terry_Burrows]

Actual they do its this thick dude in Ireland that dont,he his now backing down after big words threats to me Guinness I told him come in person lets see how good you are  :

[Jack Wallace]

Have the papers got hold of this yet? all publicity is good publicity.
How much ya paying him Terry? 

To start moaning about this after so long is crazy. Typical window cleaner 

[Paul Coleman]

very funny LOL I know the federation have these rules I am speaking to guinnness forarmed is forwarned : funny story

gold you should be a writer

I keep telling him that too Terry but he won't listen.
I think that Malc Gold's talents go far beyond window cleaning.
I reckon he probably wrote the scripts for Spitting Image but won't own up 

[Paul Coleman]

first his son now the man himself has come forward what the  he says now his going to do Guinness I have forwarded all the emails to Guinness

A week or two ago I was accused by Tosh of taking myself too seriously.  It was fair comment and I needed to step back a bit.  However, if I had/have such a problem, I reckon it's miniscule compated to these guys who keep banging on at you Terry.
I think they are great candidates for a major windup.  I reckon you should set Tosh and Gold onto them 

PC. <--------------  Making bullets for others to fire 

[williamx]

Terry I would be careful what you say on a open forum, I don't know whether this will apply to your case, but normally reporters and the media have to be careful what they say about the people who are involved in court action, they always use the word allegally to cover themselves.

and finally when are you going to change it to wfp as this seems to be the new squeegie of window cleaning.

With this equipment you or me can have several world records.

The fastest backback

The fastest van mount

The fastest trolley

The highest windows cleaned

[Terry_Burrows]

  Thanks guys I know what your saying he has sent me  fair bit of emails he wants my blood I have forwarded all his emails
on to guinness he said he is going to sue them  and me I said go ahead please  the guys a crack pot!and I am now not returning any
emails back to him or them, but I will be eyes wide open at every show I go to now.and Now I will be considering a back up to watch my back,there are some crazy guys out there you guys dont get to hear everything that goes on around me,he wants my blood....
I dont take that lightly.....

[gary999]

i would sleep with one eye open if i was you