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Ian_Giles

  • Posts: 2986
Duke, in another thread made mention of the possibility of having a Social Room.
And alluded to it in another thread.
I use a forum that has an area called 'CHATTER' for those that want to go off topic and have a little fun.
I think it would be a nice idea if we too could have such an area.

Does anyone else??

Here is an example of the sort of thing you could see in one.......

Enjoy

Ian


Pursue at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail


18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

I like Dukes idea ;D does anyone else?
Ian. ISM CLEANING SERVICES

Duke

blimey...where'd you get that lot from..?  good though !

I said in another post; just two minutes ago that I wasn't in favour of another area un-window cleaning related.

However, after reading Ian's post, an 'off-topic' area could be handy.  But I bet a lot of 'on topic' posts would end up being moved there.

I'm warming to the idea!

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

This is anecdote is true, and I have photos to prove it.

In 1990, just prior to Gulf War 1, our Regiment was warned off for service in the Gulf.

We were stationed in Germany, and two of my mates went to get tattooed in the local tattooists.

Their tattoo was of a red rat (7th Armoured Brigade, from the original WW2 desert rats), but un-bloody-fortunately they got the spelling wrong and the German tattooist didn't realise.

To this day they have 'Dessert Rats' (which sounds like some sort of vermin pudding) on their right arms.

Duke

doh, how embarrasing....I was in the Navy.....(ok,ok) but one Welsh chap decided to go with the Llandudno thing on his percy....I can't go on....

Ian_Giles

  • Posts: 2986

Tosh may be right, stuff may get moved there, but I do like the idea of not being constrained, except of course by natural good manners, abusive behaviour and foul language should be a no no, just as it is on the rest of the forum.

If I want to rage against the increases of Council tax, I can't do it amonst people I consider friends in an 'internet kind of way, I have to go to a different site on the internet. The same if I fancy telling a joke, such as below ;D

And it is just another area of the forum you would either use or not use ;)

                                       A little joke

A distinguished professor of linguistics was lecturing on double negatives. As he neared the end of his talk, he drew himself up and declared solemnly, "In conclusion, let me observe that while there are numerous cases where a double negative conveys a positive, there is no case where a double positive conveys a negative." Whereupon, from the back of the room, arose a small voice dripping with sarcasm, "Yeah, yeah..."

Ian
Ian. ISM CLEANING SERVICES

rosskesava

I also agree that an off topic (social room???) place is a great idea.

On that note .....

Did you know?

Did you know and no matter how bizarre this may sound it is a fact, that virtually all dictionaries do not have the word ‘gullible’ in them? Seriously, ‘gullible’ is not a word although it is in everyday use.

I also agree that an off topic (social room???) place is a great idea.

it is a fact, that virtually all dictionaries do not have the word ‘gullible’ in them? Seriously, ‘gullible’ is not a word although it is in everyday use.

Ross,

I didn't believe you, so just looked it up.  'Gullible. Adj.  Easily persuaded to believe in something'.

It is, actually in the dictionary!

As for Ian_Giles, just keep cleaning them windows mate. Yeah!

rosskesava

Quote
I didn't believe you, so just looked it up.  'Gullible. Adj.  Easily persuaded to believe in something'.

Er ............ Tosh ...... I don't quite know how to write this but think about the word you looked up..............  ;D

Quote
I didn't believe you, so just looked it up.  'Gullible. Adj.  Easily persuaded to believe in something'.

Er ............ Tosh ...... I don't quite know how to write this but think about the word you looked up..............  ;D

Ross,

I can tell you're from Scotland! ;)

rosskesava

Sure am from Scotland but I have one saving grace - my mother was Sweedish.  ;D

And yes .... I looked up the word gullible to except with me my friends did it in a much more elaborate way and it involved selling my dictionary on Ebay because it had the word in it and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.

texas girl

  • Posts: 348
I think it is a good idea to have a "chat" off topic area.  Might be l lot of fun!

It has my vote! I want to model my Hooters T shirt that I bought in Florida.  That is a bit off topic, but it is clean fun!

Hugs,  Texas Girl :-* :-*
Debbie

Ian_Giles

  • Posts: 2986
Debbie and her Hooters! Bring it on :P

And of course it will give Philip the chance to put his Monty Python army officer's uniform on, while he shouts 'Too silly! Too silly!' (well he was the artist formerly known as Silly after all ;)) while he moves an inapropriate, off-topic posting to somewhere it can be read without upsetting the forum 'purists' ;D

Debbie is the exception of course, it is very obvious she has a teriffic figure, but some would say that the photo below shows the true difference between the USA and Europe......



Well it made me smile anyway :-[ ;D

Ian. ISM CLEANING SERVICES

rosskesava

Did I detect a very subtle hint at some point you are making.........  ;D

Ian_Giles

  • Posts: 2986
What a lovely cat you have there....... ;D

Ian
Ian. ISM CLEANING SERVICES

rosskesava

Hi Ian

Is that our stupid EU flag? The blue one?

If it is isn't that a bit unfair to those that like other colours?

Also, my cat? It's a magical one that appears when I read some postings and when it does appear, it always goes meow.  ;D

I nicked the picture from some cat website and the animal's called 'General Flicksop Ermin out of Lady Stuffup Gertrude and Major Wally Bigpaws' or something. They actually give these cats those stupid names.  :o

I once had a dog and I called it 'guess' so as when people asked the dogs name I'd say 'guess'. Now that's a real name.

c w window cleanin

  • Posts: 37
Duke, in another thread made mention of the possibility of having a Social Room.
And alluded to it in another thread.
I use a forum that has an area called 'CHATTER' for those that want to go off topic and have a little fun.
I think it would be a nice idea if we too could have such an area.

Does anyone else??

Here is an example of the sort of thing you could see in one.......

Enjoy

Ian


Pursue at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail


18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

I like Dukes idea ;D does anyone else?
a masterpiece!

petetaylor56

  • Posts: 175
 :)my mate had acat called b*llocks and one night he locked himself out in the pub the following night he was telling me he had to climb in through his window and stood on his b*llocks that turned a few heads ;D
today i be mostly wfp

ICG

The  other Forum has a dedicated 'chat' area which is quite good, maybe it would be good to have one here too.

rosskesava

One of our jobs today was the windows of a local bike shop.

Later on in the day when we were doing another job in the same area, this character comes out of a house near where we were working and asks us if either of us ride a motorbike. He said he was packing up biking because he'd had yet another near miss and was flogging his bike plus gear.

After chatting for a bit my mate asked him if he had any biker's gloves for sale as his son's 18th birthday is soon. This bloke vannished saying he'll go and get the ones he's got which were almost new and hardly used.

About 15 minutes later he returns with a really nice pair of fox gloves and he showed us a catalogue picture and they were worth about £150 new. I tried one on as my hands are about the same size as my mates son's and my mate buys them for 30 quid and they did indeed look new.

When we were sitting in the car and saying that that was a birthday present solved and we both had one glove each and were punching each other (they had steel bits over the knuckles etc) we both realise we are both wearing a glove for the right hand.

Not only that, one  glove was slightly smaller than the other.

Then it dawned on us. This bloke had gone and nicked them to order. Worse than that, he'd pinched them from the only bike shop which was the one whose windows we do.

We went back round the bike shop which was only a few hundred yards away, bent the truth a bit and said to them that this bloke had offered us the gloves and we realised he had half hinched them from that shop but we could only buy them off him. The bike shop owner checked his stock and said they were from his shop and that he only displays right hand gloves to stop people stealing them.

The owner said he was completely puzzled as who would buy 2 right hand gloves  that are different sizes? I said that he'd be surprised as there are some gullible people out there who are easy to con.

Anyway, he gave us the £30 back we paid for the gloves thinking that we were doing him a favour.

We both felt a right couple of burkes.