[monkeyman]

Was out cleaning an house today when a neighbor came out moaning shouting to the woman who lived there don,t
 let them clean your windows i'll do them. I was totally gob smacked and said to the persons house i was cleaning what's going on and she was as shocked as me and told her neighbor to get lost and kept apologising to me.
I was fuming and nearly saw red and was close to hitting him round the head with my pole. The thing is he's not a window cleaner so couldn't understand is problem.
Still mad now as i was talking to my customer getting her phone number as it was a first clean and her neighbor was still standing there moaning.
What do i do next time if he comes out moaning. Should i ignore him or tell him to go **** himself. God i'm mad

[BRETT]

 

[Tosh]

Hit him, ask questions later!

You always get the odd idiot.  A bloke passed me today while I was putting leaflets out, he actually looked like an 'arrogant git' (he was wearing a Barber jacket and walking a labrador; he was fat too; reminded me of one of those army-officer-Adjutant-types; just fatter with less social skills).  

He looked at me, said nothing, but when he neared Wor Lass he said coldly, 'We've already got a window cleaner!'.  (We wear sign-written tops with window cleaner all over them; so he guessed we were advitising our business).

I didn't hear this, I was on the other side of the cul-de-sac.

But when Wor Lass told me and I just thought:

a.  Why didn't he just bin the leaflet and say nowt.

or

b.  Why didn't he get snotty with me, rather than a 5' 1" woman who weighs 8 stone?

I know what the answer is!

I'm not the biggest and toughest bloke in the World, but being stupid (I'm a Geordie), I won't take any stick from idiots.

But you just have to accept that you'll meet the odd 'self-abuser' during your day-to-day business. 

[tomy jackson]

he may well hit wimen you kown

[Chameleon]

 
No kidding, did your button get stuck?

[Tosh]

he may well hit wimen you kown

Probably; he seemed the type.

[Chameleon]

But you just have to accept that you'll meet the odd 'self-abuser' during your day-to-day business. 

I have been looking for "Dry Humour"
I was told I have it!
The wetter the humour the more understand it... "self-abuser"  

[JSMC]

just say this to them

here pal if i want to hear an arsehole i'll fart
or

if i want to talk to a pwick i'll pull ma zip doon

stops em dead

[tomy jackson]

i think a WFP shuved his pole up his jacksy at sum time

[Tosh]

just say this to them

here pal if i want to hear an arsehole i'll fart
or

if i want to talk to a pwick i'll pull ma zip doon

stops em dead

I really dislike Chubby Brown type one-line put-downs, but in this sort of circumstance where you can't explain that you're not spreading measles, HIV, or an outbreak of Black Death, they could be handy.

But I really like both of those lines and they will be filed away for later use.

I've just read them out to Wor Lass and even she smiled; which is rare; the last time I saw her smile a customer she didn't like contracted cancer!

Thank you!!

[foxy]

tosh; what's an adjutant? 

[Tosh]

tosh; what's an adjutant? 

It's an army post; he's basically the Commanding Officer's (COs) right-hand-man; usually a Captain in rank, but carries the authority of the CO; so can bully Company Commanders too (who are normally Majors and of higher rank).

They're normally jumped up little up-starts with no mates.

[jonisondell]

ask her if she want a quote for her windows

[Mr Sparkle]

Turn your pole sideways and stick it right up the neighbours candy ass
Smell what the rock is cooking

[Londoner]

I was out delivering leaflets a while back and the bloke from the house I had just delivered to came out, glared at me, dropped my leaflet in the bin, then glared again and went in.

I take it thats a no then?

[karygate]

hows this then . we collect for charity with a sleigh at xmas and knocked on a door that ssaid by appointment only. the guy answered and said did you not read the sign and i said yes i am knocking to arrange to come back tomorrow. he just laughed and gave a donation.

[Clive McDonald]

tosh; what's an adjutant? 

It's an army post; he's basically the Commanding Officer's (COs) right-hand-man; usually a Captain in rank, but carries the authority of the CO; so can bully Company Commanders too (who are normally Majors and of higher rank).

They're normally jumped up little up-starts with no mates.

I didn't know this, but it explains something that has puzzled me for years. When i worked at the cowley plant a superintendant assumed tremendous power and ran about screaming at senior managers in front of the line workers.

When the track stopped all hell broke loose, fing blinding, and dire humilating threats directed at obviously terrified managers. He was a scouser, an ex shop steward from speke, and really knew how to swear. Thinking back he was the directors pal, and this must have been a similar management set up to the army one.

It's always puzzled me how he got away with it.

[cozy]

Tosh, you forgot to mention that they ALWAYS have a gun dog at their side and are all called Mandy at weekends. They are also found in dodgy bars after 11pm

[weetot]

Yeh he was probably bullied at school, and dresses up as a lumberjack on week-ends. tee hee

[ZaNo]

hows this then . we collect for charity with a sleigh at xmas and knocked on a door that ssaid by appointment only. the guy answered and said did you not read the sign and i said yes i am knocking to arrange to come back tomorrow. he just laughed and gave a donation.

classic!