[Pj]

Have I missed anything?

Dear Customer,
Thank you for choosing our services.  Before we start we would like to inform you of a few of our terms.  This is by no means an exhaustive list, but should convey our sheer professional approach and sense of commitment to quality customer service.

1)   Starting from our first visit, we will visit exactly every 4 weeks.
2)   We may not always be on time, it will depend on many variables, particularly depending on if we feel like it.
3)   We will quote you a price at £50 per hour per operative because that is what we are told on our forum, however we will actually charge you a lot less but don’t tell anyone else.
4)   Please ensure all obstacles are removed on the day of our visit ie. dog turds, cat poo, and if possible bird poo and fly spots, childrens toys, garden furniture, plant pots, wheelie bins, gates and corners, ivy or any other climbing plant.
5)   Please close all windows.
6)   We’re sure you appreciate that we are providing you with an absolutely essential service so we expect pre-payment if possible or BACS.
7)   Please do not talk to us whilst we are working, unless it is to provide decent refreshments.  We have watched endless videos and have to work fast getting these poles up and whipping from pane to pane, and we get depressed if we can’t clean a window in under 3 seconds.  We may not respond to conversation as we are often deep in thought wondering how to explain to our cyber forum friends that we are now the fastest, most knowledgeable, most successful windowcleaners or wfpeeers as we like to be known.
   Please bear in mind that when we say we will visit promptly every 4 weeks….that may not be true, we might forget you, or get bored for a while, or a better paying customer may come along, we may just hang on a while to see if the sun will come out again, or we may simply lose interest for a while…or we may be on the forum!

Thank you for your valued custom 

 

[ClearviewServices]

About spot on i think.

[ClearviewServices]

oooppsss ive seen a mistake

[ClearviewServices]

Have I missed anything?



3)   We will quote you a price at £50 per hour because that is what we are told on our forum

 

You say we so it got to be £100

[Pj]

oooppsss ive seen a mistake

Have I missed anything?



3) We will quote you a price at £50 per hour because that is what we are told on our forum

 

You say we so it got to be £100

Phew, thanks, you're right of course.  That would have worried me.  Corrected!

[supernova77]

PJ,

Do you mind if I use it?



Andy

[Pj]

PJ,

Do you mind if I use it?



Andy

Go right ahead, Andy.  I see your business expanding!

Can we improve it?

[Chris Cottrell]

lmao nice one PJ you have a class all of ya own

go Pj go Pj go Pj 

[AuRavelling79]

You forgot clause "Z"

If you even look at us funny, or sigh, or bring out warm beer or cool coffee you will of course be dropped immediately with no explanation.

[Andrew McCann]

        

Hahaha.  That is PRICELESS!! 

You are wasted as a WC PJ...  write comedy for a living     

[Dale Smith]

PJ this is bang on!!
It's sad but totally right!