[jaykie]

I need to print off a load of letters to send to some management companys around my area offering my services for propertys they look after, has anyone got anything like this on there comp i could have or has anyone got time to do me one please.

Chris

[jaykie]

This is the letter im sending to other companys around my area



Chris Morris
32 Samoa Way,
Eastbourne,
East Sussex,

Date: ………………….


Dear ………………….,


I am writing to you because I am sure that our services can be of benefit to you.

We offer a comprehensive window cleaning service to commercial properties such as yours throughout the region.

With the recent tightening of health and safety legislation, particularly regulations regarding work at height* which affect building owners and facility managers, it is of the utmost importance that you choose a professional, competent and fully insured window cleaning contractor to carry out such a hazardous task.

In line with the requirements of the Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations 1999, and the Working at Height Regulations 2005, as a standard of practice we carry out a fully documented risk assessment and method statement of the works involved.

If you are due to review your current window cleaning contract then we would gladly meet with you to discuss your requirements and arrange for a written quotation.

If at this present time you are happy with your current contractor then please keep our information on file for future reference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and I do hope that we will have the opportunity to meet soon.

More details can be found by visiting our website at    www.reflectionwindowcleaning.co.uk


Yours Sincerely,



Chris Morris

Reflection Window Cleaning

[m.b.s.]

looks good to me m8
how are you going to send these through the post or in person
why not add a business card as well
you could put somewere in the letter (We have enclosed our business card with this letter for future reference). also i think these will look better on headed paper thats just my opinion

[jaykie]

It is on headed paper but cant upload it for some reason

Chris

[michael papworth]

It all seems a little "me/us" centred. Your letters absolutley need to be "you, the customer" centred.

OK, I'm no copy writer, but maybe something a little more punchy to start ...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Mrs Bloodlust,

Would you like to improve the appearance of your premises and have a more pleasant working environment for your staff whilst saving money and time?

We can help you do exactly that.


...

and then go into the H&S stuff and the details of how you can improve the customer's life and bottom line.

Just an idea.

.....

[*Mr Tumble]

This is the letter im sending to other companys around my area



Chris Morris
32 Samoa Way,
Eastbourne,
East Sussex,

Date: ………………….


Dear ………………….,


I am writing to you because I am sure that our services can be of benefit to you.

We offer a comprehensive window cleaning service to commercial properties such as yours throughout the region.

With the recent tightening of health and safety legislation, particularly regulations regarding work at height* which affect building owners and facility managers, it is of the utmost importance that you choose a professional, competent and fully insured window cleaning contractor to carry out such a hazardous task.

In line with the requirements of the Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations 1999, and the Working at Height Regulations 2005, as a standard of practice we carry out a fully documented risk assessment and method statement of the works involved.

If you are due to review your current window cleaning contract then we would gladly meet with you to discuss your requirements and arrange for a written quotation.

If at this present time you are happy with your current contractor then please keep our information on file for future reference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and I do hope that we will have the opportunity to meet soon.

More details can be found by visiting our website at    www.reflectionwindowcleaning.co.uk


Yours Sincerely,



Chris Morris

Reflection Window Cleaning

Don't shot the messenger, but your sentances are too long.  Your first paragraph consists of one longline of 'stuff'.  Break it up a bit.

Otherwise the message comes across fine.

[David Slater]

This is the letter im sending to other companys around my area


(unless on headed paper, right align your name/address)
Chris Morris
32 Samoa Way,
Eastbourne,
East Sussex, Date: …………………. (right align date)


Dear ………………….,


I am writing to you because I am sure that our services can be of benefit to you.

We offer a comprehensive window cleaning service to commercial properties such as yours throughout the region.

With the recent tightening of health and safety legislation, particularly regulations regarding work at height* which affect building owners and facility managers, it is of the utmost importance that you choose a professional, competent and fully insured window cleaning contractor to carry out such a hazardous task.

In line with the requirements of the Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations 1999, and the Working at Height Regulations 2005, as a standard of practice we carry out a fully documented risk assessment and method statement of the works involved.

If you are due to review your current window cleaning contract then we would gladly meet with you to discuss your requirements and arrange for a written quotation.

If at this present time you are happy with your current contractor then please keep our information on file for future reference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and I do hope that we will have the opportunity to meet soon.

More details can be found by visiting our website at    www.reflectionwindowcleaning.co.uk


Yours Sincerely,



Chris Morris

Reflection Window Cleaning

Chris Morris
32 Samoa Way,
Eastbourne,
East Sussex, Date: ………………….


Dear ………………….,

As you may be aware, Reflection Window Cleaning is a leading contractor throughout (insert your area) specialising in high reach and commercial premises.

Our Commercial Team employs the latest 'High Reach' equipment and can offer a total window cleaning service using the latest Pure Water technology.     

Reflection Window Cleaning fully comply with the latest Health & Safety legislation, particularly those regulations regarding Working at Height Legislation* which affect building owners and facility managers.

Reflection Window Cleaning are aware that as the owner/manager (insert as applicable) of the site, it is of the utmost importance that you ensure all contractors working on your property are competent and fully insured to carry out hazardous tasks.
Reflection Window Cleaning complies with the latest Health & Safety legislation and carry (x) million pounds of Public Liability as standard. We can supply a professional service and fully manage your Health & Safety responsibilities in this field.

As standard practice, we will carry out a fully documented risk assessment and method statement of the works involved In line with the requirements of the Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations 1999, and the Working at Height Regulations 2005.

We would like to take this opportunity to call or meet with you to discuss your requirements and arrange for a FREE written quotation.

A member of our team will contact you shortly to discuss your requirements in more detail.

In the meantime, I would like to thank you for your time and I do hope that we will have the opportunity to meet soon.


Kindest Regards (less formal),

Chris Morris

Managing Director/Operations Director/Accounts Director (take your pick!)
Reflection Window Cleaning

More details can be found by visiting our website at    www.reflectionwindowcleaning.co.uk

NOTE - ALWAYS check spelling and grammar - these guys HATE grammatical errors and poor spelling!

I'm just getting in the bath....I may may re-work this letter later if thats OK with you?

Dave.

[michael papworth]

Dave, first of all you tell me that I'm probably aware of something that I'm very unlikey to be aware of. That isn't going to make me feel good.

Then you tell me lots of stuff about you.

I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but I don't want to know anything about you other than what you can do for me.

Please, everybody ...

1 - Sit down in a quiet place.

2 - Imagine that you are the building manager of a medium-sized office block. Think of all the problems you have - including getting the windows cleaned in a timely manner at a decent price and in a way that covers your ass protects you.

3 - Create the letter that you (in this role) would like to receive.

Then you have a good letter.

[*Mr Tumble]

I find 'kindest regards' from a stranger to be a bit of a 'come on', and hence would reject the letter.

How about, 'Miss you terribly, please let me come back'?

[jaykie]

anyone else want to change it a bit as i want to print loads and send tomorrow, i dont no if to write

Dear Sir/Madam

To whom it may concern

or have there name which could be tough as means i got to contact each company to find out, but i just want to post the same letter to loads of hotels, car sales etc etc

[m.b.s.]

Dave, first of all you tell me that I'm probably aware of something that I'm very unlikey to be aware of. That isn't going to make me feel good.

Then you tell me lots of stuff about you.

I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but I don't want to know anything about you other than what you can do for me.

Please, everybody ...

1 - Sit down in a quiet place.

2 - Imagine that you are the building manager of a medium-sized office block. Think of all the problems you have - including getting the windows cleaned in a timely manner at a decent price and in a way that covers your ass protects you.

3 - Create the letter that you (in this role) would like to receive.

Then you have a good letter.

why not help the guy out and post a letter on here how you would do it not having a pop at you or any think m8
just you may help him out 

[AJ]

Dear Mr Bit

please allow me to take this opportunity introduce my company, Streaky Window cleaning..........

We are
We can
We Use
We Cover
We pride

etc

[MissyShell]

Dave, first of all you tell me that I'm probably aware of something that I'm very unlikey to be aware of. That isn't going to make me feel good.

Then you tell me lots of stuff about you.

I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but I don't want to know anything about you other than what you can do for me.

Please, everybody ...

1 - Sit down in a quiet place.

2 - Imagine that you are the building manager of a medium-sized office block. Think of all the problems you have - including getting the windows cleaned in a timely manner at a decent price and in a way that covers your ass protects you.

3 - Create the letter that you (in this role) would like to receive.

Then you have a good letter.

why not help the guy out and post a letter on here how you would do it not having a pop at you or any think m8
just you may help him out 

Here,here well said.

[MissyShell]

OK. Look, I'm not in the commercial side of things. But here's the kind of letter that I think you might be better off sending.

I have written hundreds of sales letters in my time - and every one of them has told the potential customers about just how much THEY will benefit from buying my services.

I always used "you" language. The rule is 4 or 5 yous to every I or we. And only mention I or we in relation to what I or we can do for the customer.

Rip it to shreds by all means.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Mrs Bloodlust,

How much would you like to be able to improve the appearance of your building and create a better working environment for your staff ... and save time and money as you do it?

We can help you do precisely that.

We are AJS Transparent Wall Maintenance Engineers Inc and we specialise in helping business just like yours work towards achieving their goals by providing an unrivalled and fully comprehensive window cleaning service.

Naturally, we keep your windows clean both inside and out ... but it's the way that we do it that sets us apart from other companies in this industry. You can rest assured that we do it in such a way as to cause you no inconvenience and the very minimum of disruption to your normal busy routine. All the staff we send you are  fully trained in their cleaning skills and are also graduates of the Buster Bloodvessel Charm School. This means that they will fit in with your routine and adapt themselves to enhance your image in every way.

You will be pleased to know that we are fully accredited by HSE and that all our staff have been through the most thorough training in ALL the current safety and working practices legislation. Our senior management will make it a point to visit you regularly and to create customised Method Statement – rather than a bought-in copy that everybody uses and nobody reads.

Like all professional managers, we know that you regularly review your requirements. When the time comes for you to renew your cleaning contract, you will find that we can offer you everything you need and at a price which will make you and your company secretary smile.

You will find all the information that you might need on our company web site. You will also find a number of free posters concerning neat working and good time management  practice which you can download and print off for your self and your staff.

I shall be hosting a working breakfast at the YYYYYY Hotel on Thursday next week. I very much hope that you will be able to attend. I'll be making a short presentation about *****.

I look forward very much to seeing you at this event. I'll be calling your secretary shortly to make all the necessary arrangements.

Yours

PS Don't forget to check out our web site for your free posters.

Whatever you do, don't drivel on about we can, we will, we do, we are, we did. Honestly, NO ONE CARES!!!!

Just have a look at the sales letters you get through the post. Look at the good ones, what are they about? They are about you and your needs and wants. That's why they are good sales letters.

I dont mean to be rude but I read that and I kind of lost interest after the second paragraph.
Short and sweet is always the best way.
They either want you to clean there windows etc or not.
You dont want to sound needy or bore them half to death.
Most customers only care about how often you will do the job and how much its gonna cost them.
Kind regards
Michelle.

[michael papworth]

OK. Look, I'm not in the commercial side of things. But here's the kind of letter that I think you might be better off sending.

I have written hundreds of sales letters in my time - and every one of them has told the potential customers about just how much THEY will benefit from buying my services.

I always used "you" language. The rule is 4 or 5 yous to every I or we. And only mention I or we in relation to what I or we can do for the customer.

Rip it to shreds by all means.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Mrs Bloodlust,

How much would you like to be able to improve the appearance of your building and create a better working environment for your staff ... and save time and money as you do it?

We can help you do precisely that.

We are AJS Transparent Wall Maintenance Engineers Inc and we specialise in helping business just like yours work towards achieving their goals. We do this by providing an unrivalled and fully comprehensive window cleaning service.

Naturally, we keep your windows clean both inside and out ... but it's the way that we do it that sets us apart from other companies in this industry. You can rest assured that we do it in such a way as to cause you no inconvenience and the very minimum of disruption to your normal busy routine. All the staff we send you are  fully trained in their cleaning skills and are also graduates of the Buster Bloodvessel Charm School. This means that they will fit in with your routine and adapt themselves to enhance your image in every way.

You will be pleased to know that we are fully accredited by HSE and that all our staff have been through the most thorough training in ALL the current safety and working practices legislation. Our senior management will make it a point to visit you regularly and to create customised Method Statement – rather than a bought-in copy that everybody uses and nobody reads.

Like all professional managers, we know that you regularly review your requirements. When the time comes for you to renew your cleaning contract, you will find that we can offer you everything you need and at a price which will make you and your company secretary smile.

You will find all the information that you might need on our company web site. You will also find a number of free posters concerning neat working and good time management  practice which you can download and print off for your self and your staff.

I shall be hosting a working breakfast at the YYYYYY Hotel on Thursday next week. I very much hope that you will be able to attend. I'll be making a short presentation about *****.

I look forward very much to seeing you at this event. I'll be calling your secretary shortly to make all the necessary arrangements.

Yours

PS Don't forget to check out our web site for your free posters.

Whatever you do, don't drivel on about we can, we will, we do, we are, we did. Honestly, NO ONE CARES!!!!

Just have a look at the sales letters you get through the post. Look at the good ones, what are they about? They are about you and your needs and wants. That's why they are good sales letters.

[AuRavelling79]

After all the good posts above, let me lighten the mood with:-

Dear Mrs. Lazybuyer,

Because we know money is the only thing you think about we will bribe you personally with 10% of the contract you award us.

Therefore the higher the price the better it is for you so we suggest £1,000 per clean on a monthly basis.

Upon receipt of payment we will immediately send you a cheque for £100 each time.

Once you cash the cheque we have you by the "short and curlies" as your boss will immediately fire you but only sack us!

Go on, you know it meakes sense!

Bestest, superest, truest regards of the warmest kind,




Kurt Manners

[michael papworth]

You can please yourself, of course. But writing a sales letter is much more about pleasing the recipient.

You really must sit yourself down and ask yourself "What does the person receiving this letter (i) want to know (ii) think is important?!

The answers will probably include:

* price
* quality
* frequency
* minimum disruption
* all legalities covered

plus a few other things.

Your job, then, is to write a letter that speaks directly to the prospect and which addresses ALL the major points.

And "speaks directly to the prospect" means using "you" language much more than "I/we" language.

There are some sales letter that you get that you throw straight in the bin. Why is that? There are some that you read all the way through.

Before you throw them away, just take a moment to count up the frequency of "you" and "I/we". You will almost certainly find that the letters that you throw away immediately are about "I/we" and hardly mention "you"

The ones that you read from beginning to end are all about "you" and things that interest "you."

So, please yourself.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PS Did you notice, I wonder? I never used the word "I" in there at all. It was all "you" language.

Why was that? Because you really don't care about me. You care about you. Well, it's the same with your prospects.

Please yourself and write the letter than you want to. Or please your prospects and write the letter that they want to receive.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[jaykie]

Well thanks anyway but ive done the letters now, ive done a few different ones aimed at different types of companys, hotels, shop fronts (so dont need the height restriction part), management companys.

Chris

[m.b.s.]

could i be cheeky and ask you to mail me them so i can have a look and use them if you don't mind i am no were near you so no competition off of me hanks in advance also did you send these by hand or in person and who did you address these to i don't know if to address mine to site manager or facility manager or put both on the envelope

[jaykie]

I just put manager for businesses and headmaster mistress for schools

Chris