[tonyoliver]

" i dont beleve in window cleaners never have done"

next door to one of my jobs this idiot woman comes out the INSTANT i pull up.  gets out an old  wooden step ladder goes to the top and cleanes her windows.IT IS WORTH IT TO SEE HER STRECH UP ON THE TOP RUNG .ONE DAY SHE WILL FALL ................BUT BOY OH WILL I p MYSELF WITH LAUGHTER.

every single  time i get told  like it or not: it varies on how much she saves to how good the clean is or how she has never had a window cleaner ever.
the joke is the tops have never been cleaned. they are black.

but the gem is that i do the job and two others go off for a cofee and a sandwich come back she is still polishing the same  window.

why does our game attract so many nutters.............................................................................................................................. not US them

your nutter storys please

[L.J.Thorpe]

god i thought it was just me ive got one of them put it down to coincidence at first but been doing his area for nearly 18 mths and every time i go there and he is at home he comes out and cleans his windows.once i did the fascias on a house opposite and next time i went he came out with a big swiffer duster thing and started doing the fascia on his bungalow : did i mention the bloke who brushed the footprints off his lawn

[AuRavelling79]

" i dont beleve in window cleaners never have done"

... the joke is the tops have never been cleaned. they are black.

You ought to call out "you've missed a bit luv!"

Now one of mine:- (now ex-mine)

1. I don't like that pole thing.
2. Don't wet my burglar alarm, will you?
3. Don't need doing this time
4. When I asked if he wouldn't mind me reversing onto his drive for easier access he tells me no because he's going out in a minute ... then he gets into his wife's car which is further up the road and parks on his own drive and walks into his house and doesn't come out. He's now made access for me all but impossible after waiting five minutes for him to go out (?)  I finally drove off and dropped him!

[Justen Uff]

ive got a custy who cleans her windows after i've done them and her husband combs the 4 inch soil between the lawn and house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

True

[johnny_h]

one of mine cancelled as his wife had bought him a karcher pressure washer and he was going to do his own windows from now on 

[L.J.Thorpe]

one of mine cancelled as his wife had bought him a karcher pressure washer and he was going to do his own windows from now on

priceless..... saw bloke on my round doing his with one of those telescopic plant watering things connected to the tap was a one off tho not like the compulsive window cleaner

[AuRavelling79]

I was asked to do one guys windows but was warned off by his previous cleaner that he was very fussy indeed.

I went past there last March and he was up on his bungalow roof.
The next month he was up on it again and I asked if he had a problem with it.

Get this ... he only said he was cleaning his roof and that he'd spent the last month of daylight early evenings to get it back as new. This was a tiled roof that had only been on there five years.

Scrubadub!

[Wayne Thomas]

one of mine cancelled as his wife had bought him a karcher pressure washer and he was going to do his own windows from now on 

I know a London banker who earns over a million a year. His house is absolutely massive in a very posh area I clean. I clean a lot in this particular area and offered to clean his as he's very busy at work in London and only comes down here for a few weeks a year. When he's here he spends nearly a whole day just washing his windows with a pressure washer. Did he take me up on his offer?.............not a chance, he wasn't even prepared to let me give him a quote. I thought to myself.."you tight *** git", especially on the ridiculous money he's earning. He makes Ebonezer Scrooge appear as a lottery winner.

[Paul Coleman]

one of mine cancelled as his wife had bought him a karcher pressure washer and he was going to do his own windows from now on 

I know a London banker who earns over a million a year. His house is absolutely massive in a very posh area I clean. I clean a lot in this particular area and offered to clean his as he's very busy at work in London and only comes down here for a few weeks a year. When he's here he spends nearly a whole day just washing his windows with a pressure washer. Did he take me up on his offer?.............not a chance, he wasn't even prepared to let me give him a quote. I thought to myself.."you tight *** git", especially on the ridiculous money he's earning. He makes Ebonezer Scrooge appear as a lottery winner.

If we can allow the thread to drift onto the subject of "tight gits" for a moment  .  I quoted a job a little while back for a couple.  The house was worth a lot of money in a very plush area with loads of land attached. The guy was umming and aarrrring about the price.  In the end he asked if I would do it cheaper for cash.  I pointed out to him that cash would not make any difference to me as it all goes through the books anyway.  He persisted a bit and I asked him if he would really like me to break the law on tax evasion so that he could save a few quid.  Not a murmur after that LOL.  I play it straight.  Some of these customers seem to think I'm doing it for a bit of pin money that I hide away.  If I had known the stance he was going to take, I would have quoted a lot higher.  Even his wife was trying to get me to only call when she phones me "like the last window cleaner" (who said he was moving away).  Certainly madam.  I will provide an ad hoc service for triple the price.  I will be doing the first clean (go around twice) for my standard rates as it is a decent sized job that I want to keep but , after my first encounter with them, I'm tempted to withdraw from the job.  I have a feeling these won't last long with me as I sense they could be messer abouters who think that because they have a big house, I will jump through hoops.  They don't know it but they've already had their first strike just by attempting to haggle.

[tartan cleaning]

i have had many this one came to mind back when i starting up i quoted for a standard house agreed a price and so on did the house thought it strange that the gate was not left open as we had discussed so did the front carry got on with my day get home i get a phone call next day saying i had trespassed on his property !! got very funny about it i assured him that i would not be back ! i later found the whole estate to be a waste of time great at not paying you i personally think the guy wanted a free clean though did feel the urge to drive by with something to throw but never did i always remembered what i was told when i started "nowt as queer as folk"!

[windowwashers]

i have had many this one came to mind back when i starting up i quoted for a standard house agreed a price and so on did the house thought it strange that the gate was not left open as we had discussed so did the front carry got on with my day get home i get a phone call next day saying i had trespassed on his property !! got very funny about it i assured him that i would not be back ! i later found the whole estate to be a waste of time great at not paying you i personally think the guy wanted a free clean though did feel the urge to drive by with something to throw but never did i always remembered what i was told when i started "nowt as queer as folk"!

Oh so true

[Gerry Styles]

used to have one who went out and cleaned her windows with windolene when i left

[D woods]

Have you all noticed that these nutters are nearly all Women

[steven ainger]

i got rid of a woman customer last week, german i think,  have been cleaning her windows nearly two years, trad,  and every time i went round same old thing, make sure you do the sills etc which i reply i always do and always comes out with a pound less than it should be, anyway started doing her wfp a few months didnt like that came out saying how rubbish it was as ther was still bird po on one of the windows, and when i enquired as to which one she said the one downstairs at the front, i said i havent even done the front yet, wouldnt give it a chance, so last week i turn up pole in hand she comes out , i dont want you to use that pole thing you can do them on your ladder,i said no and told her that i wouldnt be coming anymore, lost a £7 job and went down the road to my next one and picked a new £20 job, 

[*john garnett]

Have you all noticed that these nutters are nearly all Women

That's because they spend all day at home watching telly.

[Conflagration2000]

I had a woman who used to say to me "Your not my window cleaner" I had to re-introduce myself everytime I went round. She also used to say I've already paid you. So I had to explain that she hadn't etc etc. Just before Christmas I turns up at her house and the same procedure as above. When I'd finished I was at my van, she told me to wait there while she went to get the money and "a little something as it's Christmas". So I waits by the van, 10 mins, no sign. I walked up and looked through the front window and she's sat there watching telly with a cup of tea. I knock on the window and she comes out and says "I've already paid" I shook my head, left and I'm not going back

[xxmattyxx]

I had a woman who used to say to me "Your not my window cleaner" I had to re-introduce myself everytime I went round. She also used to say I've already paid you. So I had to explain that she hadn't etc etc. Just before Christmas I turns up at her house and the same procedure as above. When I'd finished I was at my van, she told me to wait there while she went to get the money and "a little something as it's Christmas". So I waits by the van, 10 mins, no sign. I walked up and looked through the front window and she's sat there watching telly with a cup of tea. I knock on the window and she comes out and says "I've already paid" I shook my head, left and I'm not going back

That was great 

Oh, go on go back, just one more time, go on, you know you want to 

[Sanity]

WFP a set of 2 bungalows nxt door to each other.

First one is ok, second one comes out and says 'I don't want you to clean any more'

'Why?' I asked politely.  'Are you unhgappy with my work?'

'I don't like all the water everywhere.   Just look at my bricks...'

'What do you do when it rains madam?'

'But its all over the windowsills and everywhere.'

'Again, what do you do when it rains madam?'

'Ill call you if I need you'

'I don't do ad-hoc work madam.  I either clean your windows regularly or not at all'

'Ok, do them next time, but I am looking for another window cleaner'

'As you wish madam, but be careful, the forcast says it might rain this afternoon'

SLAM!! goes the door!

Lol.  I reckon that she might have to find herself another window cleaner.

[Sanity]

I had a woman who used to say to me "Your not my window cleaner" I had to re-introduce myself everytime I went round. She also used to say I've already paid you. So I had to explain that she hadn't etc etc. Just before Christmas I turns up at her house and the same procedure as above. When I'd finished I was at my van, she told me to wait there while she went to get the money and "a little something as it's Christmas". So I waits by the van, 10 mins, no sign. I walked up and looked through the front window and she's sat there watching telly with a cup of tea. I knock on the window and she comes out and says "I've already paid" I shook my head, left and I'm not going back

Altzhiemers??

[Conflagration2000]

Her son in law is a copper and he lives across the road from me and he says she's had tests and there all negative. He also said she turns it on when she needs to.