[turneylogan]

Thought I would try to cheer you all up. Had a call from my nephew (400 miles away) who was in a panic. He'd just woken up after having an illicit house party whilst his parents (my sister & her man) had gone abroad on holiday. One of his teenager friends had collapsed drunk on the cream leather couch and someone hilariously decided to draw a 'meat and two veg' on the side of his face with a blue biro. Yes...you know what's coming... In the morning my nephew found numerous stamped pictures of bright blue 'meat and two veg' all of the cream leather couch where his drunken friend had tossed and turned all night. Explain that one to your parents.

Any other stories?

[Spot On cleaning]

When i was about seventeen or eighteen, (now 42) i was still living at home with my parents. My father had just retired and one of his hobbies was making beer, which was surprising as he didn't drink. The one night, i was in the front room listening to my music and drinking all this free beer which was strong as i couldn't remember what i did.

Anyway, the next day my mother shouted up the stairs that my mate was downstairs and to get out of bed. When i went downstairs, i found him in the front room holding his nose to obliterate the smell in there. I had been sick all over my mothers newish suite and could not even remember doing it or going to bed.

When my friend had called the next morning, my mother whose friend was in the back room, had just opened the frontroom door a little for him, then closed it behind him, not knowing what was in there. I will never forget the look on his face that morning. Suffice to say, i quickly cleaned it up before they found out. Do i still drink beer..........don't be silly, of course i do but have never been this drunk, except for the time when i..........but thats another story.

[lands]

Did a flat for a well known estate agent once. Thing is it was the Letting Managers flat itself. He wanted to use us because we had been recommended and the CC his branch used (this was a big national Estate agent) was related to the branach manager so nepotism ruled etc. Anyway the guy seemed a real straight guy and his newly wed wife (who had also just given birth) was also very straight.

Cleaned the flat and in a room that he sometimes slept (baby awake at night etc.) was a single bed which we moved. Underneath we found 4 hardcore gay magazines and boy were they hardcore. Very funny, especially when he returned to lock up qanad pay and I said we moved all the beds and cleaned it properly.....................................he went white and shuffled us out the flat without looking us in the eye.

[Mike Osbourne]

Did you say Bi Bi?

[lands]

No Mike, but I did unconciously walk backwards out the property