I've got the new Ikronik LavaFlow(tm) Superskorcher.
(Normally I'd be out working today but for some reason I'm typing here on my computer to help you guys out all from the goodness of my heart.)
It cost me £300,000 but look what
you get I got:-
1 x LavaFlow(tm) logo (depicts a black volcano with red top spewing lava and superheated steam shaped into a mushroom cloud - this gets me loads of commercial contracts.)
1 x seismic survey to find underground magma-heated hot water at weak points in the Earth's crust.
1 x trailer/tank/drilling rig to tap into above wells at various points in your working area (bit like the bin cleaners do with fire-hydrants but a little deeper!)
1 x tonne of resin in a ****** great bottle for the water to force its way through under it's own pressure (so no unnecessary expenditure on a pump/varistream setup.)
1 x set of night-sight glasses and 100 million candlewatt lighthouse lamp (with lighthouse logo(tm) to get me more work) to enable me to work in the dark.
1 x reel of super-insulated microbore x 250metres
1 x set of pole stuff and brush thingies. (Each with logo to win me loads of work)
The system also has its own fan-blower which runs a off a radiator (to reduce the temperature to 50 degrees C.) which can be diverted to blow on the wall beneath the windows thus reducing run-off and subsequent freezing.
I'm seriously thinking of getting the extra add-on "Scoop 'n' throw"(tm) gritting trailer (with an automated shovel) to put rock-salt on paths.
...
I know - I'm just jealous!
