Len,
I, for one, am not going to ridicule you, though I am compelled to say that as least a dog has a chance to run away.
As a true bhudist I have spent many years carefully cleaning around the defenseless house mite - who knows, either one of us could be one in our next incarnation.
You're not a very nice man and if I had any friends and had a Christmas card list I would cross you off it.
Yours tearfully,
John.