[nathankaye]

As per title. Many on here have been doing this job for many years and im sure weve all got a good tail to tell.
So lets all hear them....

[Shrek]

You go first 

[p1w1]

Funny. When i was trad climbed up a ladder to be greeted by the sight  of i believe he was in his late 90's standing stark bollock naked in his bedroom facing the window 

Sad: remember a lovely lady in her late 30's always cheerful and outgoing, turned up one day to find that she had been suffering from cancer for a number of months and had passed away. Thing was she looked as healthy as anyone could look.

[Small but perfectley formed]

When we was trad had to climb up to customers window his sister could get no reply from knocking door he was dead in bed.

[dazmond]

the worst was turning up to a customers house and seeing dried blood all over the floor and round the sides of the house,smashed windows everywhere and then going back a month later to find out the customers wife had committed suicide(took an overdose in a hotel room after finding out her husband was having an affair).he was howling with grief as she only topped herself the day before i turned up! .i quietly slipped away and never went back.id known them both for years too.

the partner of the woman he was having the affair with had turned up drunk and smashed all the windows and cut himself very badly.

[dazmond]

best one was meeting a gorgeous 22 year old woman who always seemed to have red hot pants on when i went round to clean the windows,always made me a brew too.very friendly!

it wasnt long before i was bedding her on a regular basis and i went out with her for around 5 years on and off.

i never got much work done if she was off work that day her windows were due though!

[chris turner]

Funny. When i was trad climbed up a ladder to be greeted by the sight  of i believe he was in his late 90's standing stark bollock naked in his bedroom facing the window 

Sad: remember a lovely lady in her late 30's always cheerful and outgoing, turned up one day to find that she had been suffering from cancer for a number of months and had passed away. Thing was she looked as healthy as anyone could look.

Haha very similar story here.
Trad cleaning a block of flats, went up the ladder to the first floor, an old dear was starkers doing her ironing.
She looked at me, waved and smiled and carried on with her business like i wasn't there

[Dave Willis]

Funniest one was a window cleaner who couldn't spell 'tale' sad too.

[windowswashed]

One of my customers had fallen down the stairs and was screaming out for help. I went in and found her very distressed with her bone sticking out of her leg. Gave her first aid and phoned for an ambulance. Stayed with her until a medic arrived, later her son phoned me to thank me for looking after her so that was nice to be appreciated 

[nathankaye]

You go first 

Think ive related many an experience on most threads recently, but....

Funnyish:     very similar to some tails told so far. When i was trad working, as soon as i was at the top of ladders, the mop would be out the bucket on belt and straight onto the window. So it wasnt until i was blading the water of that i saw an old dear sat starck naked on toilet looking at me embarrassed .

[nathankaye]

Or, again traditional cleaning a upstairs landing window which gave a clear view straight to the bathroom. Yet on one particular day the young lady of the house was sat on edge of bath shaving down below.  I thought i would knock another day for her to come to door to pay.

Or another time on a different house, again trad cleaning up a ladder. I found that sometimes a slightly opened window if fully opened i could clean it better due to the angle i was. (Hard to explain), anyway it was a bathroom window slightly opened (opened obviously to the outside) and about 2pm ish. I opened it wider and was met by a loud ear piercing screem. Young woman in 20's just soaking in bath.  I was not expecting that, esp at that time.

[nathankaye]

Last house of the day in a rural area. Up ladder cleaning a window when the old dear comes back home from being out.
Theres two of us cleaning and weve done this house for years. Anyway the old dear was looking up at me cleaning window and talking, next it went all quiet. I looked down and she was out cold on floor and her head next to some garden rocks. After a couple of minutes and me panicking on phone to 999, she wakes n tries sitting up. So obviously no kneck damage, but we encourage her to stay where she is till paramedics get here, but i sit on cold floor so she can lay back down but rest on my lap. Can see back of her head is bleeding, my college gets neighbour  and fetches some blankets out whilst we wait for a good hr for ambulance to get there and take over.
Thankfully she was ok but we kept her warm and from going into shock and from it being a whole lot worse. But also thankful that we hadnt caused the accident to happen in the first place

[G Griffin]

Or, again traditional cleaning a upstairs landing window which gave a clear view straight to the bathroom. Yet on one particular day the young lady of the house was sat on edge of bath shaving down below.  I thought i would knock another day for her to come to door to pay.

I hope you had pubic liability insurance.

[Ian101]

Funniest - happened to a lad local to me Adam when he was trad - upstairs windows and male customer cross dressed in women's underwear both Adam and customer froze in panic until Adam decided best if he left asap - went for payment later that day and customer cancelled 

Saddest - about 2 years large house in the countryside and I was there for the day helping James the owner remove an old conservatory next minute his wife comes charging up the drive fast and says a dog walker had collapsed in the lane so of we all go to find a young lad in his 20's on the floor, white and not moving so James calls 999 and for the next 20 mins all 3 of us are doing mouth to mouth and chest compressions (nelly the elephant and vinny jones popped up from my memory) paramedics arrived and told us opiate overdose - gave him an injection of something and he started to come around as they put him in ambulance - if this wasn't sad enough the story behind all this was a few years back the lad had tried to kill himself by jumping from top of a quarry - survived but badly smashed up so on very strong pain killers for life - never found our if he was trying again or accidental overdose - all very sad 

[Tosh]

This is from a previous post I made a few years back.




I was asked to clean the inside windows of a regular customer one day. A fairly well to do but very friendly elderly lady and her husband lived there. Halfway round she said she had to go out, so left me to it, finishing the last few windows. I was to leave my invoice in the kitchen and she'd put a cheque in the post. Fine. There was this window, overlooking the rear of the property, ground floor. Big window. Had a set of vertical hanging blinds in it.  So to be able to get to all the glass once I'd pulled the blinds back with the cord that hangs in the corner I had to just pull them that little bit further back with my left hand to be able to get to all the glass when they just broke. All the hangers just fell off the holders. Collapsed. In a heap on the window-sill. I was reasonably new at this game but also pretty stupid - I panicked. I grabbed hold of the blinds, rolled them up, stuffed them as best I could down my trousers and legged it. Hoping the lady of the house wouldn't spot her blinds were missing. So, the next day, I got a phone call. It was her. She wanted to know where her blinds were. She was very calm, but curious. My reply to her question was 'what blinds?'  'The ones overlooking the rear lawn, in the office. They were there when I left and gone when I got back'. I insisted I didn't have a clue what she was talking about but agreed to go over and have a chat with her about them. Anyway, something dawned on me when I put the phone down - the game was up, it was bloody obvious. so I phoned her back and explained what had happened. She said something then which has stayed with me ever since and has been a watershed moment in my life, for one reason or another. In a very calm, kind and curious way she said 'Matt, why didn't you tell me the truth, we're not Ogres you know'.



It reminds me now, a few years down the line, of David Moyes and that comment he made to the female football reporter, afterwards in his defence he said ‘that isn’t me’.

[Smurf]

Stuffed em down yer trousers...What blinds? Classic.lol

[Smurf]

Peeps popping their clogs always gets to me. It's a stark reminder that there is more to life than just work.

[big steve]

had a father and son hang them selves in hall way they was always in so paid on day but the time before he paid in front so i think he new he was going to do it shame good customer

[nathankaye]

Goes to show, all the moaning we do on here about time wasters n messers.......we never know whats going on in their lives and we perhaps sometimes are guilty of quickly judging folk

[AuRavelling79]

From a previous post in 2013 ...

On Thursday I'm cleaning 5 out of a terrace of 7 1960's houses. Parking is across about 20 yards of grass with separate blocks of garages and so I park up then run hose to each house.

So I don't bother knocking and do all the top fronts and am working back along the bottoms. I notice a funeral cortege turn up and go over, move my cones and hose to let them pull up and carry on.

Five minutes later I'm cleaning the lounge window and in the reflection I see a top hatted, morning coated funeral director walk up to the front path.

Gold: "You coming here?"
TopHat: "Errr this is No 14 isn't it?"
Gold: "Yes but I don't know if anyones home ..."
TopHat (grinning but speaking quietly) "I hope so, can't keep the deceased waiting ..."
Gold: " I'll make myself scarce"
(Leg it and frantically start pulling 50 metres of microbore away from the front path and out of the way of the funeral cars as my custy and family walk towards the coffin)

What is it with me and the dearest departed? This is the same road as I had my infamous falling out with the Polish gent who told me his wife was dead when I got antsy about taking him back on as a customer!