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Rogue Trader

  • Posts: 1367
Can u believe this!!!
« on: September 23, 2015, 10:40:35 am »
A couple of weeks ago i recieved an RFQ (request for quotation) for a property. I couldnt believe my eyes, take a look. The quote is for a 12 weekly clean of a 2 bed end of terrace!!!

September 13, 2015
Request for Quotation
To Whom It May Concern,
   We are currently considering a regular window cleaning service and you are hereby invited to submit your best price to undertake the work identified within this document, it is intended that the selected vendor from this initial RFQ stage will finalise their quotation with a visit to the property.
The property; a 2 bedroom end of terrace residence is located within the Cul-de-sac of  Maidenbower.
Please complete and return the following Returnable Price Schedule to aid our selection process.

Work Scope   Notes (to aid Quotation)   Vendor Cost (incl. VAT) [£]
12 Weekly (Approx.)
uPVC Window Cleaning (incl. frames and Sills)   Guideline Notes for Pricing
Ref: 1 & 2 (Page 2)   
1 off Gutter Cleaning (Front and Rear)   Guideline Notes for Pricing
Ref: 3 (Page 2)   
1 off Fascia Board Cleaning (Front and Rear)   Guideline Notes for Pricing
Ref: 4 (Page 2)   

Please respond by return email, including the completed Returnable Price Schedule (above), your Quotation reference, terms and conditions and the preferred payment methods.
Bids must reach us no later than;    Friday 18th September 2015
Bids must remain valid;         30 days
All Correspondence will be carried out by email (russell.campbell@com) during the initial RFQ stage.
We will endeavor to select a supplier during week commencing 21st September 2015.


Yours faithfully,



Guideline Notes for Pricing
1.   12 Weekly (Approx.) uPVC Window Cleaning
1.1.   Ground Floor;
1.1.1.    Front of House;
1.1.1.1.   Kitchen Window
1.1.1.2.   1x Small Window
1.1.1.3.   Front Door
1.1.2.    End of Terrace
1.1.2.1.   1x Small Window
1.1.3.    Back of House
1.1.3.1.   1x Small Window
1.1.3.2.   French Doors   1.2.   1st Floor;
1.2.1.    Front of House
1.2.1.1.   1x Bedroom Window
1.2.1.2.   Bathroom Window
1.2.2.    Back of House
1.2.2.1.   2x Bedroom Window
2.   Access
2.1.   Vehicular Access
2.1.1.    Off road drive way to the side of the property   2.2.   Pedestrian Access
2.2.1.    Front of Property – small grassed garden
2.2.2.    Rear of Property
2.2.2.1.   Gated Side Access
2.2.2.2.   2 Level Wooden Decking
(across width of property)
3.   Gutter Cleaning
Front





   Rear
4.   Fascia Board Cleaning
Front





   Rear

 ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???


Positivity

  • Posts: 571
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2015, 11:22:55 am »
Civil servant? Local Authority?
Definitely not a candidate for the Plain English Award.
If all that's for a 2 bed terrace imagine what the request for a large commercial site would be like ??? ???.

jk999

  • Posts: 2097
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2015, 11:24:43 am »
I would send an email  back saying thanks but no thanks

Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2015, 11:33:24 am »
Wow that make a job difficult to understand!!!
My response- I only do monthly  ;D ;D

Ian Lancaster

  • Posts: 2811
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2015, 12:20:00 pm »
I'm sorry, I'm afraid our space ship is in having it's portholes cleaned and we don't have a spare.  Here on Earth we regard "2 bed end of terrace 1 x 12 weeks" as being so insignificant that it's hardly worth the time it takes to reply 'no thank you'.  Your email didn't specify origin  so I don't know where in the
universe you are but it must be the strangest place I ever heard of.

With thanks, but no thanks,

...........................................................




DaveG

  • Posts: 6348
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2015, 03:22:40 pm »
He sounds like an unbelievable "lady part" ! String him along and let us know how you get on!  ;D
You can't polish a turd

Rogue Trader

  • Posts: 1367
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2015, 04:01:53 pm »
i was going to respond just by saying "£12" nothing more then i decided that this bloke is trouble and any sort of response will be opening up a can of worms!

Smurf

  • Posts: 8538
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2015, 04:38:55 pm »
Best you don't forget to submit your proof of insurance, risk assesment and methods statement in the tender two...wtf ???  ;D ;D ;D

Quote would go somthing like this....










Fookoof you w****r  ;D

Smurf

  • Posts: 8538
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2015, 05:31:56 pm »
i was going to respond just by saying "£12" nothing more then i decided that this bloke is trouble and any sort of response will be opening up a can of worms!

You are welcome to clear my guttering, clean all the plastics and clean my windows including frames,glass & sills for 12 squid.
But first I want proof you are properly insured, provide me with RAMS and agree to my payment terms of 90 days . However if you do a crap job you will not get a penny ;D

robbo333

  • Posts: 2420
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2015, 05:44:20 pm »
Go on...stick in a quote for £350 quid...you know you want to!  ;D
"Thank you for calling: if you have a 1st floor flat, mid terraced house, lots of dogs, no parking, no side access, or no sense of humour, please press hold!
For all other enquiries, please press1"

Smurf

  • Posts: 8538
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2015, 05:50:46 pm »
I would if not more just for the craic  ;D

Walter Mitty

  • Posts: 1314
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2015, 05:53:22 pm »
Go on...stick in a quote for £350 quid...you know you want to!  ;D

Damn you Robbo.  That was gonna be my line :)

Smurf

  • Posts: 8538
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2015, 05:57:55 pm »
This bit cracked me up  ;D
"it is intended that the selected vendor from this initial RFQ stage will finalise their quotation with a visit to the property"


Ian101

  • Posts: 7889
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2015, 06:10:28 pm »
 :o :o

life is too short for that crap ..... big commercial quote then yes but 2 bed end terrace  ::)roll

Ian101

  • Posts: 7889
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2015, 06:11:14 pm »
:o :o

life is too short for that crap ..... big commercial quote then yes but 2 bed end terrace  ::)roll

poop b******s crap ................. is the swear filter off ?  :)

Smurf

  • Posts: 8538
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #15 on: September 23, 2015, 06:14:48 pm »
You never know the chap might be a property tycoon and have a multi billion pound property portfolio  ;D

Matt.

  • Posts: 1836
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2015, 06:38:14 pm »
Wooooooow

Ya can't go in at £12 for that, the time it takes to do a method statement will come to more than that.

I would do a brake down price each section separate this will help increase the bill  :D

Also you must tape off any working area displaying cones saying trailing hoses also display wet floor signs, you will also need to have a guy stand around until the floor area is completely dry and this could be 2 hour labour depending in weather.
Maybe consider contacting the local council to put a road closure on

If I got a domestic and they sent that to me, sfg would be getting done via a cherry picker ( don't forget to add all the vat ) just to pee him off.

Truth is I wouldn't even consider working for him but send it anyway and see what is reply is  ;D

Matt.

  • Posts: 1836
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2015, 06:39:46 pm »
Oh ye and if you do get invited to attend the second round then you need paying to attend plus travel costs, please ensure to put this in your original quote

slap bash

  • Posts: 1366
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #18 on: September 23, 2015, 07:36:01 pm »
Send him a quote for the quote will be £200 .

Joey Eastwood

  • Posts: 400
Re: Can u believe this!!!
« Reply #19 on: September 23, 2015, 08:59:38 pm »
haha that is rediculous compared to the normal '' alright mate can you do mine?'' over the garden fence
when life throws you water, clean windows