Hi Alex
If you REALLY want to upset the wife
....when you are shopping and she wants to look at furniture...do a wet rub test on the fabrics (Zip end only...honest) say, in a loud voice, that the colour is coming off.
Guarantee the little lady will disown you...immediately
Divorce... could be as early as next week.
My little lady is made of the tough stuff and she's still around... still walks away in the shop though... but it guarantees a bit of peace and quiet for a few minutes
Cheers
Derek