[G Griffin]

why not go and get a job in a factory  or better still a night watchman were you wont need to communicate with the public on a friendly basis

We are the public, too. Do you call that friendly?

[G Griffin]

Use Paul Merton's response to hecklers:

"Look, I'm trying to work here.  How would you like it if I shouted down the alleyway when you were giving blowjobs to transsexuals?"

Now you mention it, I'd hate that.  And so would Griff, a village near Nuneaton.

 
I'd certainly give them a mouthful.
But I'd ignore the hecklers.

[Blue Frog Systems]

Just tell them they have just trod in dog cr*p .... they soon look down and get it

[stuart mc]

Just tell them they have just trod in dog cr*p .... they soon look down and get it

better to say you have dog poo on your heel, and when they flick their heel up to take a look, say "hello sailor" in a camp voice

[daniel worgan]

Thinking its sooooooooooooooooooooo funny when you window cleaning to say

"You have missed a bit there mate"

Ha bloody Ha

and whats worse they think its the first time you have heard it.
Anyone got a whitty reply I am getting fed up with forcing a smile?

I reply...."you dont pay me enough to clean all of it"

[JSMC]

i say i cut corners not clean them

[ps outthere]

Tell them 'I was in the Navy and I am used to cleaning portholes.

[Andy Prittchard]

'Cleaning portholes'?  Is that what they call 'it' in the navy, sweetie?

[Nathanael Jones]

No one ever says that to me, I just get cheeeky comments about how big my pole is!  :

[Andy Prittchard]

What like?  Such as how do you manage with such a small one?

[richard jagger]

Clap your hand and tell them they have just spotted the dirty mark and won a 4 week holiday for the family in Afghanistan.

[Gav Camm lammy 283]

grip em tightly by throat
then slam em thru
a large store window
just like the undertaker
give em the last ride 

[laddermonkee]

Just say 'f++k up dickhead'