[Deep Cleaning Solutions]

........just had a call for a job,booked them in,then 5 mins he rings back.Is it ok if i change the appointment to another day he says....no problem i say,ohh is it just you going or will you have someone with you he says.....no! just me i say.Well the reason i ask he says is because the work is for my brother who has a few issues and likes to walk around NAKED!!! , is that a problem   ....so i ask him if he will be there to introduce me...no he says,just you and him will be there ,so do i walk,the thing that worries me is that if he can't even walk around with clothes on how do i know that he's going to pay me OK!

[yorky]

........just had a call for a job,booked them in,then 5 mins he rings back.Is it ok if i change the appointment to another day he says....no problem i say,ohh is it just you going or will you have someone with you he says.....no! just me i say.Well the reason i ask he says is because the work is for my brother who has a few issues and likes to walk around NAKED!!! , is that a problem  ....so i ask him if he will be there to introduce me...no he says,just you and him will be there ,so do i walk,the thing that worries me is that if he can't even walk around with clothes on how do i know that he's going to pay me OK!

I would not touch it with a bargepole.

[garyj]

Sarah will do it for free.

[clinton]

Gary

Sounds add mate maybe give it a miss if i were you

[Sarah Kirby]

So long as he has something to hang my coat on! :-P

[Steve. Taylor]

I feel a joke cumming on here

A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked. "It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "Count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.

As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, 'Beware of Gays. A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing, 'Beware of Gays.' He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. With small writing on it

He bent over to read the plaque and it said, 'Sorry, you've had two warnings

[Sarah Kirby]

I feel a joke cumming on here

A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked. "It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "Count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.

As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, 'Beware of Gays. A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing, 'Beware of Gays.' He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. With small writing on it

He bent over to read the plaque and it said, 'Sorry, you've had two warnings

 

[garyj]

Sarah suggested we try anal once.

You should have seen the size of the strap on she had, it hurt like hell.

[derek west]

I feel a joke cumming on here

A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked. "It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "Count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.

As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, 'Beware of Gays. A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing, 'Beware of Gays.' He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. With small writing on it

He bent over to read the plaque and it said, 'Sorry, you've had two warnings

and your still a member to this very day arn't you steve.

[Steve. Taylor]

SSSHHH DEREK WHAT I TOLD YOU AT THE FLOOD SCHOOL IS PRIVATE

PS THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE ROOM AT THE HOTEL

[Colin Day]

Be careful Dave, or else we might be calling you "DEEPthroatingDAVE" in future

Seriously... Walk!!!!

[Paul Heath]

Thought it was just his hand you where holding underneath the desk Steve 

[Simon Gerrard]

I'd stay well clear of that one, you could end up feeling a dick!

[Paul Heath]

O that explains it.....thought Steve said he was feeling a little sick....

[Neil Williams]

brother who has a few issues and likes to walk around NAKED!!! , is that a problem 

Is this a problem? Is the guy having a laff?
Of course it's a problem. What an idiot.

[Sarah Kirby]

Sarah suggested we try anal once.

You should have seen the size of the strap on she had, it hurt like hell.

 

[Deep Cleaning Solutions]

Just to update you on the naked man job.I have just been to the job,i know everyone said walk,but i did not fill the slot(no pun intended)so i thought i will at least knock on the door and if it looks to dodgy i'll run like the wind.I knocks on the door and hid behind the gate a good 6ft away,he answers,but i can only see his head,he looked normal-ish so i go in.I can't see him ,so i go in the back where i find him,small asian fella who looks like he works out a bit,with just a towel on  in a semi exited state.Next to him was the biggest flat screen tv i have ever seen that was paused on a hard-core movie just at the point of...(well i can't say on a family forum).The carpet looked clean ,but smelt manly and for some reason i had not left yet,but i thought i'm not sucking his manly-ness up in my pride and joy.He then said how much ,so i said i will go and work it out in the van.I then proceeded to drive off faster and with more skill then lewis hamilton.I never thought i would ever do a runner,but i learnt a valuable lesson today,and that is to listen to you more experienced guys more in future.

[Colin Day]

That's made me laugh so much... Thanks Dave....

[Paul Simpson]

 



Had one this morning, Georgian style house converted into flats, asked by the bottom flat occupier to do the communal hall, stairs & landing. As I arrived she see me in and made me a cup of tea, started setting up and dragging my hose upstairs when the guy in the flat upstairs pops out in a t shirt & boxers and says (in a camp voice)

"hi, your here to do our carpets"
"Just need to pop down and get my post"
"Can I get you anything? drink? anything else?"
I said no thanks the lady downstairs made me a drink
As hes coming back up I'm on the stairs and he brushes past me saying
"are you sure I can't get you anything"
"Eh....no!"
"Well thats my flat there so if theres anything you want just come and knock"
Maybe he was just being fiendly

[clinton]

its the brushing past you that would wory me 

Dave made me laugh also with your storie mate