[Jack Wallace]

before anyone asks, I am not scottish, just thought this was funny

20°C
People in Southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh put out bedding plants

15°C
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

0°C
Cars in the South of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

-1°C
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

-5°C
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

-10°C
Life in the South grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-15°C
Life in the South ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-80°C
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-100°C
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

-114°C
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-182°C
Microbial life starts to disappear
The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

-273°C
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

-300°C
Hell freezes over
Scotland will support England in the World Cup

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