[COLIN BRIGHT]

its only tea, and thats only hair dye, emolsion paint..... it'll just rinse out

OK YOU GET IT OUT THEN!!!!!!!!
PEASANTS!

[The Great One]

Call...

I have a few stains that need to get out

Ok, I will be there tomorrow (30 miles away)

get there

thanks for coming, my dog has peed all over the place and I can't seem to get them out

Ah...

[Kev Loomes]

When the kitchen is a pig stye and they ask "would you like a cup of tea?"

Er, my tongue feels like the bottom of a parrots cage but think I'll give it a miss

Or when you get a tip and they give it to you like its an underhand 'deal', and they put a pound in your hand : God bless em.

[terryyy100]

how would you like to be paid,,,,, that will depend on the custy  young fit or old and fat ?

[Mark Lane-Matthews]

When quoting over the phone

Q" Can you tell me what type of carpet it is?"

A "Yes its white"

[M.Acorn]

Can you give me a price to clean my lounge carpet,ok madam how big is your lounge roughly ?
er i don`t know,well rough idea in feet,er i don`t know.Ok then lets say it`s 18x12 that comes out at £67 oh ok i have had it done twice before once it was £50 and once it was £65 ok then i said i will do it for £65,
can you do it today ! no sorry booked up all today,well when can you do it ?
when is good for you ? Monday or friday , sorry booked up .
Can you do wed , yes thank f@@k for that

[Peter Blackburn]

1/ Sorry there's no hot water, but I can put the kettle on!!! Might need more than a cup of hot water!
2/ Pass me your bucket, i'll fill it. They return with it half full, which knackers the product dilution.
3/ They see me pull up in a large LWB Transit. "You can put your CAR on the driveway".
4/ Booking a job in (To actually do the work), turning up and giving the price only to be told "Yes thats fine, when can you do it".

Could go on.

Peter

[Kinver_Clean]

Or travel 20 miles for 8 in the morning and be greeted by a lass in her dressing gown who says- Not another one, I have someone who keeps ordering stuff and last week it was an undertaker at 3 in the morning and yesterday a chimney sweep. -- Thats one who didn't get charged a cancellation fee.

Trevor

[mark_roberts]

Its a shame you couldnt get that coffee stain out, I'll have a go with the 1001.

Its only five years old so its definately not wear.

Its really only the arms that need cleaned.

Is there a discount if you dont clean the back and sides as there not dirty.

And the worst of all.............................................

Its definately a good quality carpet the salesman said so............yes its knowen as a Belgium Wilton madam.


Mark

[turneylogan]

The carpet has been down 30 years. I had cleaned 15 years ago and it came up like new. Will it be the same this time?

If you can't get the stain out, will I need to pay you?

I don't believe in carpet cleaning, it takes all the stuffing out of the carpets.

How much do I owe you? (Holding your written quote)

Do you mind working around the plumber/electrician/heating engineer/decorator?