Commercial bit
1. water fed pole systems should be 'system' (there is only one system)
2. Also you say your staff are competent in 'all systems' what about abseiling? May need re-wording the text.
General comment:
On a website, people don't like reading loads of text, so less is more (so to speak). You've added loads of stuff that simply doesn't need to be there so I would delete the phrase 'in their given field of work'.
Office window cleaning bit
First sentence would make more sense if it said
'We provide office window cleaning on a daily basis, in a professional manner, with minimum disruption to your own operation. If you are a Facilities Manager, or responsible for your office maintenance then please call us; we are the number one choice for professional office window cleaning.
Industrial bit (poor sods haven't got much text)
How about
Halton Cleaning provide a wide range of cleaning services for industrial premises. Whatever the size of building, or frequency of clean, we can offer a cost effective solution for external and internal windows and cladding.
Domestic bit.
Get rid of the word 'effective' that actually means you've done a good job!
How about 'we will return and clean any windows you are not totally happy with, free of charge.'
All out staff are fully uniformed so you know you are in SAFE HANDS. I never like this because it always implies doubt! It's a bit like saying 'trust me'!
Anyway how about, 'All our staff are fully uniformed, so we are easily recognisable, for your complete peace of mind'
Text under the header
Should be 'Our team of window cleaning specialists work hard for you; so you don't have to.
Don't use the word 'repel' it's just too extreme
How about 'Embarrassing, dirty windows that give customers and clients a bad first impression'
General comment
You do make some 'over the top' statements
e.g the best window cleaning service Leeds has ever seen
we are the best of the best
we are the industry leader
I'm sure you do a great job but you can run the risk of bullpoopting too much and putting people off.
How about.
...experience a top quality window cleaning service from an established and professional local company.
...one of the best in the industry
Halton Difference should be 'Halton difference'
I stopped reading there...more wine!