As its panto season,does Alex dress up as Widow Twanky down Cornwalls finest palais or is he outside Marks & Spencers dressed as Santa and giving out mini window cleaning kits to all the local wannabe 6 year old potential runny nosed window cleaners who dream of SLX's and VW Transporters.
''Ho Ho Ho. Hello little boy,what do you want for for Xmas?''
''Well Santa,i'd like an 18ft SLX by Xmas please,thats this Xmas you slacker and not the one nearest my 18th birthday''
''Ho Ho Ho,you cheeky little boy,you'll get a clip round the ear if you carry on''
''MUM MUM,Santas going to hit me''
She pulls his beard off
''Thats not Santa, its that fella from Poleland whos moonlighting as Santa instead of getting everyones poles ready by mid November,like they promised''
''Damn,been caught out,best get back to casa de Alex and pull my finger out''
Thats what i reckon anyway.
Was going to say '' Is that a pole in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me'' but i didn't want to get smutty