[JSMC]

by having routine and things organised and some kind of structure helps big time. Exercise is a fantastic aid also.

[wpclean]

I always go for a jog to free the mind up a bit so always putting custies on 3 strike oand there out situations got rid of 2 today.

That is good advice, I used to let awkward custies get to me, and I would get really low.   If I get a sniff of a trouble causer now they are fired 

[Tony Edwards]

samson

2 years ago almost to the date, I sat at home and decided how i was going to commit suicide.

I knew how, when and where I was going to do it after researching it online ! I was that bad, however I had a little voice in my head that said what will this do to your kids ?

After several hours,trying to make a decision, thankfully I made the right one. I called a mate who was a wc in desperation and after talking to him decided on a change of career ( previously had my own company earning £80k ) but couldnt cope with life.

I looked down on windies but decided to swallow my pride. After a lot of hard work, I have a great business working the top end of the market, celebs etc. It took months and so much hard work to get these customers but its worth it.

I have had depression for over 30 years, but can honestly say this was the best decision I have ever made. I love my job. i love going to work and for the first time in years i enjoy work.

Dont get me wrong I have some bad bad days but I force myself up and do as much as posible, Some days I can only do 1 or 2 customers before I have to go home. But 1 or 2 is better than nothing.

I believe in a few years I will earning as much as before buts its not the money, I just love what I do.

Keep going mate, goodness knows I know the depths of depression. Contact me for a chat anytime

[CLEANCARE WC]

Thank you to all who have contributed to this, it does help a lot, as often what I'm reading is windies working 12 hours a day, earning many, many hundreds of pounds and comparing to my own efforts only serves to dampen my already fragile self.

Nearly two years ago I suffered a seemingly innocuous back injury in the morning before work, but went to work anyway - trad.  That was a mistake, as was the ineffective NHS physiotherapy afterwards.  Private physiotherapy helped a lot but using the same muscles walking up and down ladders meant they were never given a chance to heal, and I was never going to be able to earn enough money for us to get by, let alone be comfortable.

I suffered with insomnia because of the spiralling debts, and was having almost daily anxiety attacks, which I learnt to recognise and calm down before they got too bad.  Major mood swings from angry to sad.  A vicious cycle.  I had a real problem with not being able to switch my mind off, and being three steps or jobs ahead mentioned earlier in this thread is very familiar to me and only made the anxiety worse.  I didn't want friends and family seeing me like this, so stopped meeting up with them, and when my wife and kids went out, I'd make excuses not to go with them.  I used to have around 250 customers, aiming for at least 300, but gave some away to my brother in law and stopped going back to others - similar to others on here, too embarrassed to turn up after being awol for so long, despite them all knowing about my back problems - I did let them all know back when it first happened.

I didn't know it was called the 'black dog' but I know all too well about its existence and know very well about turning around and going home.  Or not being able to get out of the house - mine was usually late morning or even lunchtime, and I still suffer from this sometimes.  If I'd made phone calls or texts the night before, it was an extremely rare occasion that I didn't turn up though.

I am very, very lucky to have family that were able to loan me money to change to WFP back in January so that I could work and continue to heal.  I do still have around 140 customers, and most of these I have been cleaning for many years and get on with them really well.  They have been extremely patient with me, and when they ask how my back is, I always thank them for sticking by me.  The grind of all those first cleans was extremely hard mentally but thankfully I'm nearly there, now mixing first cleans with maintenance cleans so my daily earnings increase.  I did more work in one week in March than I did in any month since June 2012, and that gives me a real sense of pride in how far I've come.  I also recently managed to earn over £100 in one day again - a mixture of first cleans and maintenance cleans WFP, another milestone.  I purposefully take as much heart from these baby steps as I can, as I know any slight setback hits me really, really hard - like buying a pig (or should that be black dog) of a van costing me 6 weeks off work or having two injectors go on my current van, costing me 3 days off work.  Vehicles do have problems, and a couple of days would normally be ok, but where I am mentally, it's a tough fight to stop it getting you down.

Despite me wanting to concentrate on being a reliable and regular (every time I say this to my customers I always imagine I'm comparing myself to having a pooh!) windie to my current customers, I keep getting calls and recommendations for new work, so my business is growing again, organically.  Again, take heart from the little things.

Call me stubborn, but despite efforts from my family, I didn't visit my GP for pills, not realising it might have been depression until around a year ago, I wanted/want to beat this on my own, though I realise it may take longer.  But I am sometimes able to take a mental step back, see where I'm going wrong in my head space, and take an active decision to change it, though carrying this out is often very hard.

We've just gotten back from a great break in Kent (it's also been a great weekend for just being in the garden, or outside in general) and I'm about to start making phone calls about work tomorrow.  Despite the work I've done these last two months, we're still overdrawn and with other debts, but it's not affecting me mentally as I know I CAN pay them off, especially now the weather's improving.

All the best CBWC I can relate to alot of this, Im feeling good at the moment and really enjoying life keep positive 

[windowswashed]

FAO: CBWC

keep your family & friends aware of how you're coping with your depression, even when you are out of it. It can come back anytime and having friends and family to share your anxiety with can benefit you and stop you doing some stupid things. Keep focused and positive. Book your customers work the evening prior to work so you commit yourself to others depending on you thus keeping you in a positive normal routine so the indecisive option of having a day off because you're feeling low is taken out of your hands as you commit to others to turn up and be relied upon.

[ben M]

Thank you to all who have contributed to this, it does help a lot, as often what I'm reading is windies working 12 hours a day, earning many, many hundreds of pounds and comparing to my own efforts only serves to dampen my already fragile self.

Nearly two years ago I suffered a seemingly innocuous back injury in the morning before work, but went to work anyway - trad.  That was a mistake, as was the ineffective NHS physiotherapy afterwards.  Private physiotherapy helped a lot but using the same muscles walking up and down ladders meant they were never given a chance to heal, and I was never going to be able to earn enough money for us to get by, let alone be comfortable.

I suffered with insomnia because of the spiralling debts, and was having almost daily anxiety attacks, which I learnt to recognise and calm down before they got too bad.  Major mood swings from angry to sad.  A vicious cycle.  I had a real problem with not being able to switch my mind off, and being three steps or jobs ahead mentioned earlier in this thread is very familiar to me and only made the anxiety worse.  I didn't want friends and family seeing me like this, so stopped meeting up with them, and when my wife and kids went out, I'd make excuses not to go with them.  I used to have around 250 customers, aiming for at least 300, but gave some away to my brother in law and stopped going back to others - similar to others on here, too embarrassed to turn up after being awol for so long, despite them all knowing about my back problems - I did let them all know back when it first happened.

I didn't know it was called the 'black dog' but I know all too well about its existence and know very well about turning around and going home.  Or not being able to get out of the house - mine was usually late morning or even lunchtime, and I still suffer from this sometimes.  If I'd made phone calls or texts the night before, it was an extremely rare occasion that I didn't turn up though.

I am very, very lucky to have family that were able to loan me money to change to WFP back in January so that I could work and continue to heal.  I do still have around 140 customers, and most of these I have been cleaning for many years and get on with them really well.  They have been extremely patient with me, and when they ask how my back is, I always thank them for sticking by me.  The grind of all those first cleans was extremely hard mentally but thankfully I'm nearly there, now mixing first cleans with maintenance cleans so my daily earnings increase.  I did more work in one week in March than I did in any month since June 2012, and that gives me a real sense of pride in how far I've come.  I also recently managed to earn over £100 in one day again - a mixture of first cleans and maintenance cleans WFP, another milestone.  I purposefully take as much heart from these baby steps as I can, as I know any slight setback hits me really, really hard - like buying a pig (or should that be black dog) of a van costing me 6 weeks off work or having two injectors go on my current van, costing me 3 days off work.  Vehicles do have problems, and a couple of days would normally be ok, but where I am mentally, it's a tough fight to stop it getting you down.

Despite me wanting to concentrate on being a reliable and regular (every time I say this to my customers I always imagine I'm comparing myself to having a pooh!) windie to my current customers, I keep getting calls and recommendations for new work, so my business is growing again, organically.  Again, take heart from the little things.

Call me stubborn, but despite efforts from my family, I didn't visit my GP for pills, not realising it might have been depression until around a year ago, I wanted/want to beat this on my own, though I realise it may take longer.  But I am sometimes able to take a mental step back, see where I'm going wrong in my head space, and take an active decision to change it, though carrying this out is often very hard.

We've just gotten back from a great break in Kent (it's also been a great weekend for just being in the garden, or outside in general) and I'm about to start making phone calls about work tomorrow.  Despite the work I've done these last two months, we're still overdrawn and with other debts, but it's not affecting me mentally as I know I CAN pay them off, especially now the weather's improving.

what a great post!!! well done mate, you can be proud of yourself! pay my respects!

[Marc Stock]

FAO: CBWC

keep your family & friends aware of how you're coping with your depression, even when you are out of it. It can come back anytime and having friends and family to share your anxiety with can benefit you and stop you doing some stupid things. Keep focused and positive. Book your customers work the evening prior to work so you commit yourself to others depending on you thus keeping you in a positive normal routine so the indecisive option of having a day off because you're feeling low is taken out of your hands as you commit to others to turn up and be relied upon.

This is exactly why I give my customers a next clean date, on the bills I leave as it helps with my motivation; and minimises the black dog appearing.

[Paul Coleman]

FAO: CBWC

keep your family & friends aware of how you're coping with your depression, even when you are out of it. It can come back anytime and having friends and family to share your anxiety with can benefit you and stop you doing some stupid things. Keep focused and positive. Book your customers work the evening prior to work so you commit yourself to others depending on you thus keeping you in a positive normal routine so the indecisive option of having a day off because you're feeling low is taken out of your hands as you commit to others to turn up and be relied upon.

This is exactly why I give my customers a next clean date, on the bills I leave as it helps with my motivation; and minimises the black dog appearing.

That method makes more sense now Marc.  I had wondered how you managed to run your business that way.  I can understand it if it's only a small percentage (e.g. behind large electric gates) but sounds impractical for ALL jobs.  For me such a system would take away the best bit about this work - the flexi time.  But I can see that some would need the dates set out to give them the kick to get to the jobs.  Only three of my jobs get the "next date" treatment.  They are three larger jobs, in relatively close proximity to each other, that I do all on the same day.  Two of them are behind electric gates.  The third is a guest house type of arrangement where the guests need to be told to leave the sashed windows closed if going out (the house rules prohibit entering the rooms without the guest present).

[Marc Stock]

Yeah. I also have o c d. So as long I know exactly what I'm doing, im comfortable. I can pull off data from my database and know exactly the date of a customers window clean any time up to 2040.

And 99 percent if the time I'm dead on. And they are expecting me. Gates open, ready to go.

Think I'm a bit mental, I'm slowly realising this over the last 15 months.

[G Griffin]

Thank you to all who have contributed to this, it does help a lot, as often what I'm reading is windies working 12 hours a day, earning many, many hundreds of pounds and comparing to my own efforts only serves to dampen my already fragile self.

Nearly two years ago I suffered a seemingly innocuous back injury in the morning before work, but went to work anyway - trad.  That was a mistake, as was the ineffective NHS physiotherapy afterwards.  Private physiotherapy helped a lot but using the same muscles walking up and down ladders meant they were never given a chance to heal, and I was never going to be able to earn enough money for us to get by, let alone be comfortable.

I suffered with insomnia because of the spiralling debts, and was having almost daily anxiety attacks, which I learnt to recognise and calm down before they got too bad.  Major mood swings from angry to sad.  A vicious cycle.  I had a real problem with not being able to switch my mind off, and being three steps or jobs ahead mentioned earlier in this thread is very familiar to me and only made the anxiety worse.  I didn't want friends and family seeing me like this, so stopped meeting up with them, and when my wife and kids went out, I'd make excuses not to go with them.  I used to have around 250 customers, aiming for at least 300, but gave some away to my brother in law and stopped going back to others - similar to others on here, too embarrassed to turn up after being awol for so long, despite them all knowing about my back problems - I did let them all know back when it first happened.

I didn't know it was called the 'black dog' but I know all too well about its existence and know very well about turning around and going home.  Or not being able to get out of the house - mine was usually late morning or even lunchtime, and I still suffer from this sometimes.  If I'd made phone calls or texts the night before, it was an extremely rare occasion that I didn't turn up though.

I am very, very lucky to have family that were able to loan me money to change to WFP back in January so that I could work and continue to heal.  I do still have around 140 customers, and most of these I have been cleaning for many years and get on with them really well.  They have been extremely patient with me, and when they ask how my back is, I always thank them for sticking by me.  The grind of all those first cleans was extremely hard mentally but thankfully I'm nearly there, now mixing first cleans with maintenance cleans so my daily earnings increase.  I did more work in one week in March than I did in any month since June 2012, and that gives me a real sense of pride in how far I've come.  I also recently managed to earn over £100 in one day again - a mixture of first cleans and maintenance cleans WFP, another milestone.  I purposefully take as much heart from these baby steps as I can, as I know any slight setback hits me really, really hard - like buying a pig (or should that be black dog) of a van costing me 6 weeks off work or having two injectors go on my current van, costing me 3 days off work.  Vehicles do have problems, and a couple of days would normally be ok, but where I am mentally, it's a tough fight to stop it getting you down.

Despite me wanting to concentrate on being a reliable and regular (every time I say this to my customers I always imagine I'm comparing myself to having a pooh!) windie to my current customers, I keep getting calls and recommendations for new work, so my business is growing again, organically.  Again, take heart from the little things.

Call me stubborn, but despite efforts from my family, I didn't visit my GP for pills, not realising it might have been depression until around a year ago, I wanted/want to beat this on my own, though I realise it may take longer.  But I am sometimes able to take a mental step back, see where I'm going wrong in my head space, and take an active decision to change it, though carrying this out is often very hard.

We've just gotten back from a great break in Kent (it's also been a great weekend for just being in the garden, or outside in general) and I'm about to start making phone calls about work tomorrow.  Despite the work I've done these last two months, we're still overdrawn and with other debts, but it's not affecting me mentally as I know I CAN pay them off, especially now the weather's improving.

A very humbling post. Good luck with it.

[JSMC]

forgot all about this topic.

[Xtremely Clean]

Have had depression for 10 years I've been ok the last 6 months until 1 day last week and today, didn't go to work today, I'm in the process of building a round back up as I sold up last year after I hit a brick wall it was either sell it or lose it, tbh the tears came when I saw this pop up on the forum about an hour ago as I've been sat today wondering should I just get it over with and end the pain(blunt but honest) but I've got my daughter's and knowing what hurt it will cause them is what keeps me fighting to get past it, They were 2 and 6months old when my wife left 3 years ago coz she ccouldn't cope with my depression anymore, it took me 2 years to get over not living with my kids anymore I see them twice a week now I've had to accept that but it was really hard, reading through these posts has given me a boost so I'm going to have an early night and get up and out early in morning and keep fighting   

[deeege]

Have had depression for 10 years I've been ok the last 6 months until 1 day last week and today, didn't go to work today, I'm in the process of building a round back up as I sold up last year after I hit a brick wall it was either sell it or lose it, tbh the tears came when I saw this pop up on the forum about an hour ago as I've been sat today wondering should I just get it over with and end the pain(blunt but honest) but I've got my daughter's and knowing what hurt it will cause them is what keeps me fighting to get past it, They were 2 and 6months old when my wife left 3 years ago coz she ccouldn't cope with my depression anymore, it took me 2 years to get over not living with my kids anymore I see them twice a week now I've had to accept that but it was really hard, reading through these posts has given me a boost so I'm going to have an early night and get up and out early in morning and keep fighting   

Good luck with your fight Clarkey. It WILL get better!

[dazmond]

by having routine and things organised and some kind of structure helps big time. Exercise is a fantastic aid also.

this defo works for milder forms of depression for sure.

the more time you have off work procrastinating the more depressed you get IME!

[Xtremely Clean]

Have had depression for 10 years I've been ok the last 6 months until 1 day last week and today, didn't go to work today, I'm in the process of building a round back up as I sold up last year after I hit a brick wall it was either sell it or lose it, tbh the tears came when I saw this pop up on the forum about an hour ago as I've been sat today wondering should I just get it over with and end the pain(blunt but honest) but I've got my daughter's and knowing what hurt it will cause them is what keeps me fighting to get past it, They were 2 and 6months old when my wife left 3 years ago coz she ccouldn't cope with my depression anymore, it took me 2 years to get over not living with my kids anymore I see them twice a week now I've had to accept that but it was really hard, reading through these posts has given me a boost so I'm going to have an early night and get up and out early in morning and keep fighting   

Good luck with your fight Clarkey. It WILL get better!

Cheers I know it WILL   

[Xtremely Clean]

by having routine and things organised and some kind of structure helps big time. Exercise is a fantastic aid also.

this defo works for milder forms of depression for sure.

the more time you have off work procrastinating the more depressed you get IME!

I've arranged to go to gym tomorrow evening 

[steve123]

have just read this thread, respect to all.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses.  Remember to put the glass down!

[davids3511]

Yeah. I also have o c d. So as long I know exactly what I'm doing, im comfortable. I can pull off data from my database and know exactly the date of a customers window clean any time up to 2040.

And 99 percent if the time I'm dead on. And they are expecting me. Gates open, ready to go.

Think I'm a bit mental, I'm slowly realising this over the last 15 months.

You have to know yourself though and do whatever works for you. Even if its a bit mental, once it works its all good.

[Xtremely Clean]

have just read this thread, respect to all.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses.  Remember to put the glass down!

Makes sense, I do try to do this and have succeeded in the past but lately it's been 1 thing after another going wrong and I suppose I've let it get the better of me.

[Mist A Bit]

I don't know if im depressed, not been to the doc or ever spoke about it. if I am its not as bad as what some have described , I find myself sitting in the van a lot smoking  and il say to myself just one more fAg and il get started. sometimes I don't get started other times I pull myself together and do a half decent days work. I know something is wrong as earnings are slipping as im not completing all my work.
 I don't fully understand depression and like I said not sure if I suffer or not, but on the whole im a happy person at home and look after my children without trouble or complaint. il add that the smoking thing is a secret, don't smoke at home and other half don't know about it which I suppose is weired for a grown man to keep secret.

all the best to all that have shared on this subject

steve