[Doctor Carpet (Ret'd)]

Phone rings...

"Hi Mate. I've bought myself a vax and I was just wondering if I could pay you to come and clean my carpets"

Me:" Er.....with your machinery?"

Him: "Oh yes, Ive got all the professional gear and I've bought the chemicals as well. I just want you to clean the carpets because you know what you're doing."

Me: "I can provide my own equipment-I think you'll find it does a better job."

Him: "No, my equipment is fine. I'll pay you £15."

Me: (dazed silence)

End of call.

I'm not normally stuck for words but.....................well, I suppose it takes all sorts.

Rog

[garry22]

I guess this is one of those situations where with hindsight, you could think of lots of funny replies.

I would imagine that you were so taken aback that you probably could not think of anything apt at the time?

[Doug Holloway]

Hi Guys

People that start off by calling me 'mate' have failed one of my filters and as such are unlikely to find me working for them.

Cheers

Doug

[Mike Halliday]

Mate, buddy, kiddo, .......all these can cause me to lose reception on my phone and have to end the call.

Even calls from mobile phones can be ended abruptly, I might be pessimistic but I never seem to get calls from OAPs or quality homes who are using a mobile, they tend to use the landline in thier homes.

[Shaun_Ashmore]

Normally I would agree with you mike but a few days ago I had a mobile call from a gentleman with a 7 bed house that needed cleaning.

Shaun

Ps have you had your op yet?

[Andrew Briscoe]

I get loads of call from a mobile, usually builders, site managers & landlords etc,
i would be damned if i didnt answer them, its usually commercial and adds upto 65%
of our work.

I find oaps call on a private number, as many are ex-directory

Andrew

ps, hope your back on your feet soon Mike

[Shaun_Ashmore]

I went to get some solution hoses fixed yesterday the guy looked at them and then said,"just a carpet cleaner?" I laughed and reply "what do you mean just a carpet cleaner?", he meant that they weren't for sewage as he was having something to eat at the time.

Shaun

[Mike Halliday]

it must  just be me then

but the calls i get on mobiles are usually just chavs & price shoppers.

I'm now at the point unless the phone number starts 86..87..84 (signifying my preferred area of work) i don't stop work and just let voice mail  pick it up.

 

[derek west]

I've done a search for numbers one to five but can't find any???  I've only been out for the day.

[Neil Williams]

I've done a search for numbers one to five but can't find any???  I've only been out for the day.

Did you get my text? Or are you just ignoring everyone

[wynne jones]

Mate, buddy, kiddo, .......all these can cause me to lose reception on my phone and have to end the call.

Even calls from mobile phones can be ended abruptly, I might be pessimistic but I never seem to get calls from OAPs or quality homes who are using a mobile, they tend to use the landline in thier homes.

Every time someone rings for a quote as says. I'd like a quote please 'my friend'. You know you have a time vampire on your hands who will mess you about. After many years I sometimes think I have a sixth sense. Who will cancel the night before, who wants a discount for CAAASSSHHH, who will still have the kiddies toys all over the floor when you turn up. etc

[clinton]

Thats one for the book then roger.....

One of the most amusing stories i have heard in our business..

[mark_roberts]

Im with you on the mate thing.

Id say 50% of the emails I get for a quote are something like this

can u give me a price for getting a carpet cleaned.

And thats it.

They are deleted without reply.

Mark

[mark_roberts]

Ways to insult a carpet cleaner.


Me: thats us finished would you care to have a look?
Customer: thats great but what about that bit in the middle its not the same as under the sofa.
Me: thats the wear and fading I was telling you about at the start.
Customer: do you think it would come off if I used vanish?

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mark

[Craigp]

I used to get those incredibly dumb emails, so a few years ago I removed my email from my website. Now I get none, they have to phone.

Trust me you won't miss anything, get shot of it, 

Craig

[Carpet Dawg]

I used to reply to those "how much to clean my carpets" or "what are your charges" emails, I very rarely got a reply back when I asked for more details.

People are very strange.

[gary hall]

Best one I had was a client in St George Hill ( big house - loads of money !) - when I was doing initial assement, lady complained that her cleaner ( !) had broken her £550 microwave , and could I have a look at it -  had a fiddle - and told her it was not switched on at the plug !!!!!!!!!!!

After a bit of old chat she turned round and said to me " you seem like an intelligent person , why are you cleaning carpets ?" I nearly ped my self laughing - put an extra 10% on the quote - she went for it - so did  job and it worked out at about £120.00 per hour - and as she was paying me  - I thought that's why I'm a carpet cleaner, and if she was so intelligent why DOESN'T she BECOME  a carpet cleaner -

"people are strange when your a stranger " THE DOORS 1968

[Jim_77]

Gary, legendary

I used to get those incredibly dumb emails, so a few years ago I removed my email from my website. Now I get none, they have to phone.

Trust me you won't miss anything, get shot of it,  Cheesy

Craig

Couldn't agree more!

[Shaun_Ashmore]

Paul ashworth removed his contact form and emails from his website he also said that it go rid of people asking for a lounge carpet clean 7 metres by 7 metres approx in a terraced house!

Shaun