Dear Mrs Custy,
I called to inform you that due to other business commitments
(I robbed a bank and am scarpering out the country with half a million dollars in a holdall) we regretfully have to discontinue your window cleaning service. But please do not be alarmed as we have arranged for new window cleaners
(from the dole office) to continue cleaning for you.
As there was no reply when I called (
and didn't bother knocking) please accept this letter by way of explanation.
As of Julember 1st Floggitt and Skarper's window cleaning rounds will be taken over by Mr. Basil Brush of New Broom Ltd. They are of the highest repute and already have a history of top quality, reliable and honest service in the Foxolles area of the City. You can read about them on their website
www.foxyfoxes.co.uk.
Please be assured that during the "handover period" I will be monitoring New Broom so that the quality of work you have become used to will be continued by Mr. Brush and his team.
(Actually I'll be in the Bahamas)I am sure you will be happy with the new cleaners and if you have any questions then please do not hesitate to contact me on 01234 567890.
(which will be switched off in one week after I have given false assurances and boarded a plane)Thank you for your custom over the past half century.
Yours sincerely,
I. Floggitt
Floggitt and Skarper