Well for the first time in many years I got sworn at twice this week. Let me tell you about them.
(1) THE CUSTY'S SON
About 10 years ago I did this geezers house off ladders but kept getting messed about for payment when his wife came to the door and he was out so I dropped him. Anyhoo about six months ago he's obviously retired and he politely asks me to start again. I explain previous problem and we agree every two months at £12. ten months go by and no probs then on Wednesday his wife answers the door - "no money", "no cheque book" (I didn't even try to go to paying online!

).
So I hear the adult son about 20 say come back next time and I politely say to both of them that this was the problem previously and that I wasn't prepared to do that. So they agree that the son has got cash and he will pay me. No aggro or so I thought!
Anyway I clean the top two at the back and BAM! - back door flies open and sonny boy shouts "Oi you! Fxxx off! Don't clean the windows and don't Fxxxing come back!" (Full wording used tho')
I politely but resolutely say "Well if I do that then you can pay me the two quid for the ones I've done." He informs me that he'll pay me the full £12 and that he wants me off the property.
With that his Mum opens the side door and says to ignore him, he's had a bad weekend and she's sorry, please continue. I say "Bad weekend? It's Wednesday, how bad can it have been?"
Anyway my heads racing now; adrenaline pumping; what to do? I knock the door and they're both stood there arguing and I'm saying "look I don't want to get into this; I've got to the stage of life where I don't have to deal with this stuff."
He's telling me to F off and she is telling me to please clean and he stomps off upstairs.
So I say look we both share Christian values (She goes to a predominantly West Indian evangelical church) I'll take the peaceful way out and withdraw. Sonny Jim then says "You two can discuss religion if you want hahahaha" and disappears.

Anyway she begs met to carry on cleaning (having magically found the cheque book) and I do. So when I finish she apologises profusely, hands me the cheque and I say I don't really want to clean there in the future (and I milked it by adding that I don't want me or employee being physically assaulted - he's - my employee - is 6ft 3 and 18 stones by the way) and she says her son isn't right in the head and not to worry because he's all mouth.
I go back to the van, look at the cheque and it's for 50p too much so I go back and he opens the door and I smile and say "Your Mum has overpaid me by 50p" and I hold out the 50p. His jaw drops and he slams the door shut.
Half an hour later I'm a few houses up and his father turns up apologises and begs me to continue and to ignore his "D***head" son.
In hindsight it was laughable so I might!
I'll tell you about the second swearing episode in another post.