[kinder clean]

I cleaned a lounge carpet this afternoon. On arrival I asked to see the carpet before unpacking my kit and was shown to what can only be described as an aladdins cave.

Nothing had been moved (except for a foot stool turned upside down onto a sofa?) the floor was covered in bric a brac, piles of books, cd's, dvd's, brass ornaments, dolls and in the corner a big clown with a sad face about 4 foot tall. ( clowns scare the _ _ _ _ out of me )

Anyway I unpacked my gear and went to ask if they could clear some of the clutter so i can clean the carpet underneath -I was told to clean around it as it was her day off work today ! 

She and her partner then sat playing world of war or dungeons and dragons or something on a 50 inch plasma TV in the room I was
cleaning  - I just got on with it, keeping a watchful eye on the clown as I did.

It was one of those jobs where in the back of your mind your wondering if there going to drag you into the basement and place you in a makeshift cell next to the postman and the window cleaner. To be fair she did offer me a drink but whilst I was in the kitchen filling my bucket I'd noticed about 200 used tea bags piled on the kitchen worktop along with a fortnights worth of empty takeaway containers - I politely refused.


But the main reason these people go in the weird file and one I still cant get my head around isn't the clown or the clutter or the mountain of tea bags...... no its because I noticed they had 2 framed certificates on the wall in the lounge..................on closer inspection I could see they were actually his and her birth certificates  :

Now I appologise if any of you guys have your birth certificates on display in your living room, but as far as I'm concerned anyone who does, and thinks a 4ft frowning clown is tasteful decor needs to be on heavy medication.

Anyway they didn't murder me and I got payed.

Paul

[happy mondays]

  They have now gained your trust, be careful the next time you visit them, they will be planning your return as we write 

[derek west]

MWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[2cleanright]

I had something similar a few months ago.

Lady was very nice on the phone, but when we arrived there was stuff everywhere, and she had this wierd music playing, but what freaked me out was the fact that she didn't walk, she floated!

She wore a long flowing skirt, so you couldn't see her feet, but I dont think she had any. She wafted around the house without so much as a ruffle of the skirt. It really was like she was floating - even up and down stairs.

House had a really strange feel to it as well - like you were being watched all the time. The missus wouldn't even go in and vacuum as usual - said it felt too strage.

Still, got paid. Never been back though - dont know if I'd want to

[markpowell]

 

[james roffey]

Very amusing and very well  told, can go in your book, confessions of a carpet cleaner i want the first copy though 

[richy27]

I had a strange one last year wont go into it but it freaked me right out. I dont want to talk about it or i wont be able to sleep due to th night mares

[james roffey]

I had a strange one last year wont go into it but it freaked me right out. I dont want to talk about it or i wont be able to sleep due to th night mares

You cant end it there

[richy27]

will post in the morning not now just before my bedtime

[derek west]

nothing more scarier  than a grade A nursing home. its a real eye opener. yes its funny when we talk about it but really quite sad, and upsetting when you think about it.

[Colin Day]

Wow, what a brilliant thread and our Richard just went and spoiled it... You girl !

I won't sleep now Richard.....

[richy27]

the day i ventured into cornwall

[Colin Day]

Oiii! Ya cheeky sod, that's my mate, Goron.....

[Steve. Taylor]

RICHARD IF YOU WANT TO USE PICTURES OF ME NEXT TIME ASK

[brianbarber]

I did estate agent job and the lady and her daughter along with grand child were in a kingsize bed watching big tv, they insisted I cleaned around them!!
bloody unbelievable !!!!

Mr B

[Gav Camm lammy 283]

  be thankful wasnt yr death cert lol
who knows wot that clown woulda done to you lol

[Neil Williams]

Monday afternoon I went and did a quote on a large country house living room.
Nothing strange in that other than as I arrived the undertaker was just leaving. The lady wanted the living room cleaned after her husband died there after several years of illness, this room had basically been the become the hospital room.
I did the job today and they've not even had the funeral yet.
Would this really be your first priority?

[derek west]

only if i wanted to get rid of any evidence, i'd call that aiding and abetting neil

[Gordonnis]

i was at a house on monday cleaning hall /stairs /landing and front room all the same carpet, when they lady of the house asked how long is you guarantee ,as when it was fitted it came with a 5 year guarantee and because it has been down 6 years,  that is  how, it is now dirty and would i offer the same guarantee  i quickly changed the subject , finished the job, got payed without letting her getting  a word in and shot down the drive as quick as possible and her phone number is logged in my phone as guarantee ready  for when she rings    i think i would have been there all day  trying to explain and on a monday just took the money and ran

[Matt Lindus]

We were fitting an alarm system in a house in Bradford West, Yorkshire. Putting up the inferred sensors in a room that was currently being decorated. The decorator approached me and informed me that there was someone under the dust sheet sleeping on a bed. "Yeah right" was my reply, he had tears running off his face he was laughing so much when he was telling me. He went on to tell me the owners had thrown the sheet over the elderly relative as she refused to get up on the morning before he arrived.

I laughed and continued to drill mountings for the first sensor. Much to my disbelief a coughing came from the centre of the room from beneath the dust sheets. The decorator was in the kitchen. I was the only person in the room, someone really was under the sheets! I have never experienced aanything more weird in all my life.


Matt