[Phillip Mold]

Phone rings...
Good afternoon, Able Carpet cleaning, Phillip Mold speaking, how may I help you?
(Dare I say, Indian voice) "Hello, is that Mr Mold?"
Yes
"Thank you, my name is Alex, I would Like to talk to you about your computer for business"
Yes, it told me yesterday you would call me
"Pardon, your computer told me I would be ringing you today?"
Yes, it said yesterday someone called Alex would ring soon
"What kind of computer is it you are using?"
It is a Saint Peter
"What kind is that please?"
A special one, it was blessed by a priest when I bought it
"You are really mad Mr Mold"
Then he hung up on me, how rude!  

[Colin Day]

My last Indian computer call went something like this...

"Hello Mr Day, I am ringing about your computer!"

"This is a pizza shop, we don't sell computers! Would you like a pizza?"

"Erm... No thank you!"

"We do keebab, would you like a keebab?"

"No!"

"Well why you ring pizza shop if you don't want food?"

Phone line dies......

[wayne zabel]

Theres nothing more annoying than these calls especially when you are quiet and you want the phone to ring and then you get these idiots on the other end.Had 3 today not just Indians but some twerp doing a survey to see if i qualify for a remortgage.Ive had the same people call 3 times in a week on that one.

Makes it worse when the mobile's on divert and you end up paying for the call.

[M.Acorn]

I donate too Banardos ,direct debit,had a call from them last night,wanting me too up what I pay them,said no sorry,I have several charities I donate too,and will not be increasing what I give you all,bloke then starts telling me a story about a 14 yr old girl,who was not getting any love at home,and how she started hanging around with older men,then the man started inviting his friends over.Told him to stop.
There is a limit ,and a line,not being guilt tripped into increasing my donations

[Paul Simpson]

Get so many of these, the number ususally comes up unavailable or International on my display.
The ones I hate is when you are instantly on hold when you pick up waiting for them to answer you so they are not wasting their time  so now I wait for them to answer and then hang up straight away.

Or when they like to confirm your details such as telephone number, address, etc I tell them in a broken speech manner (like Norman Collier) missing out several digits or words, then when they say I didn't catch that do the same thing again and they get fed up and hang up. 

[clinton]

Dont get many as i registered with the t p s..

Still get the international ones and just cut em off

I sometimes say are you buying or beging

LOve that one clolin with the piza mind

[John Milnes]

Yea the pizza one is good....I think I'll try it.

Along the lines of:

You no like my pizza? ......I sell best pizza in the world.
You no like me either then eh?

[derek west]

just say

"My names (say your name) and i like apples"

"do you like apples?"

"i do, i love them"

[Paul Simpson]

just say

"My names (say your name) and i like apples"

"do you like apples?"

"i do, i love them"

 

[Paul W Jones]

On my phone these numbers come up as 'out of area' or 'private', trouble is sometimes the private ones are just people who withhold their number for some reason.  When I speak to these 'out of area' people I just ask them for their phone number, they never give it and I just explain that I'm not willing to speak to them without knowing their number and then I hang up.  They're all just a waste of time.

[clinton]

Derek 

Yes i like apples too here

[Colin Day]

I love apples... In the form of cider preferably...

[Matt Lindus]

Want to get rid of them and guarantee they will never bother you again.

Ask em if they fancy a bum.

Make sure its not your mother calling, re - Sunday dinner invite.   

[john aitken]

Phone rings...
Good afternoon, Able Carpet cleaning, Phillip Mold speaking, how may I help you?
(Dare I say, Indian voice) "Hello, is that Mr Mold?"
Yes
"Thank you, my name is Alex, I would Like to talk to you about your computer for business"
Yes, it told me yesterday you would call me
"Pardon, your computer told me I would be ringing you today?"
Yes, it said yesterday someone called Alex would ring soon
"What kind of computer is it you are using?"
It is a Saint Peter
"What kind is that please?"
A special one, it was blessed by a priest when I bought it
"You are really mad Mr Mold"
Then he hung up on me, how rude!  

your the man  im gonna use that one

[Steve Rothwell]

How about this one then.....

hello this is John at screech and sales etc is that mr mildew?

Yes... but I am sorry I am a bit tied up right now can you give me your home number and I will call you back later??................

You can't do that why not???

Oh I see you don't take work calls at home??

Welcome to my world.... Goodbye.