[AuRavelling79]

Do you qualify for a special £10,000 service bonus?

You need to have met the following requirements:-

Did you serve in HM forces for a minimum of two years between 1989 and 2009?
Were you sent overseas (including Northern Ireland)
Did you go to the Balkans?
Did you escort Sam Fox on a tour of the local sights in said Balkans?
Do you live in Wales (or within at least a mile of the border)
Have you shacked up with a Welsh bird?
Did your Grandfathers fight on opposite sides during WW2?
Is your mother fluent in Japanese?
Is/was your Dad a Geordie? ("Unknown" will suffice)
Do you have a penchant for dressing up in women's clothes? (A picture must be provided)
Did you lose your front teeth in a bar brawl in Cyprus (or some other squaddie assigned hell-hole you were frequenting at the time?)
Did you borrow your mates socks for unspeakable purposes in the middle of the night in said barracks?


Then it looks like you qualify!

But there is one additional vital qualification you must hold ...





































An NVQ2 in window cleaning!


If you qualify then please write to:-

Mrs. April Fule
Crankies Lane
Morecambe
Ooop North!
NVQ 2 YYY

[Tosh]

You nearly got me excited there!

 

[mci services]

bugger  qualified on all them questions nearly just the welsh bit let me down

[cozy]

What was the "socks" thing?

[mci services]

What was the "socks" thing?

cant think how to expain without being banned lets jut say they are used for wiping up excess male body fluid

[cozy]

What was the "socks" thing?

cant think how to expain without being banned lets jut say they are used for wiping up excess male body fluid

I knew I would regret asking :

[pingu]

Come on cozy (no pun intended)...you were in the forces!!

[cozy]

Yes I was mate, but even I wasn't expecting that answer 

[Tosh]

What was the "socks" thing?

cant think how to expain without being banned lets jut say they are used for wiping up excess male body fluid

Swing the lantern and pull up a sand bag and I'll tell you a story...

 

This was in Gulf War 1, and I used to nick my mate's (Andy Palmer; a fitting name) socks from out of his bergen, his clean ones; when he was in some trench on guard duty; and use them for my 'dastardly deed'.

Then I'd put them back into his bergen.   

All the other lads knew; since I told them; and used to laugh when my mate was doing his washing in those big tin bowls we had in the washing area; 'cos I used to shout loudly, 'I'm getting AROUSED! (or words of similiar meaning).

Oh, and Cozy and I have a mutual friend called 'Dog' (Holden).  It''s a small world.

[rhys11]

lol very good

[Sir Squeaky]

 

[colley614]

Brilliant, my application is in the post, just have to work out what to spend my grant on........what