[kinder clean]

Ok this is something everyone should interested in - so lets have some partisipation from all of you.

Below is an example sales letter - this particular one is aimed at people with there homes for sale.

Whats the best killer headline for the letter?

Come up with some good content !!!

Should a price or offer be included?? If so what??

Critisize it - Chop and change the wording - Better it!!!




                                                                   FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT

When selling your property in this difficult climate you need to do everything you can to increase your chances of a sale.

When a potential buyer enters your property, the first few minutes are vital to create a lasting positive impression.

You’ve tidied the house, everything is spotless…….but take a moment to look down at those carpets.
No matter how hard you vacuum, the ground in dirt and stains can only be removed using a professional carpet cleaning service.

Having dirty carpets will immediately put a negative thought in the mind of your potential buyers, carpets are one of the largest investments a home owner has to make, if your potential buyer thinks they may need to replace them.

Bad odours caused by unseen bacteria, smoking, or pets can mean the difference between a sale or another disappointment.

Don't make the mistake of hiring a carpet cleaning machine from your local DIY shop - YOU WILL NOT achieve the same results as qualified carpet cleaner with professional cleaning equipment and knowledge.

Your satisfaction is guaranteed!! All our cleaning services come with a no quibble satisfaction guarantee.

Call now for a quote on -

Paul Kinder Clean

[John Milnes]

The headline should be...FIRST IMPRESSIONS LAST 

[John Milnes]

And it's a good letter 

[Ian Gourlay]

What  is your guarantee. If they phone you a day or 14 days latter what are you going to do

Give money Back?

reclean if still not satisfied what/

Perhaps 14days is too long

Once had a Lady phone me after a month .

[Mike Osbourne]

Ian

A guarantee with no time limit gives the best response.

It's never been a problem for me...yet.

[Shaun_Ashmore]

I had one who said that their leather suite resoiled quickly after 12 months!!

I went round to assess to find that their son had moved back in and oh a little baby aswell so I quoted them for Thru lounge HSL and bedroom carpet clean and a fresh up of leather for free, sold them a leather DIY kit and protector on the suite.

GGGGGGGGGGGG Gladis Emmanuel

Arkwright Ashmore

[Jim_77]

I'd cut the first two paragraphs and go straight int othe "setting the scene" type of wording.

Generally the language is a little bit formal and rigid, a potential customer needs to read the text as if it were a friendly voice speaking to them, not a school teacher dictating rules.  That switches people off.

It's a tricky thing to do, conveying familiarity with a relaxed attitude whilst avoiding sounding too over-bearing or sensational.  I'm certainly not an expert on writing copy, it takes me ages to write a mailer

Definitely not the worst mailshot I've read though, got potential

I'd go with the suggested change of headline.

[carlton care]

If someone is selling their house and you want to sell them your services you need to give them a reason to use you !


So you want to sell your house...............

If your house is immaculate - fresh smelling - inviting, you don't need us, but you're not the buyer !

Will your prospective buyers feet stick to soiled carpets - will they avoid sitting on your grubby furniture - will they be taken aback by the smell of cooked food, or unemptied bins, or the odour from pets.

Your house might be immaculate, in which case you don't need our services.

On the other hand, it might be similar to the above. You get used to your carpets, your furniture, the odours you live with every day, but it can be one simple little niggle that puts prospects off buying.

Don't take chances with thousands of £££££££££££££££££'s at stake.

We will carry out a  " READY FOR SALE " survey absolutely FREE and offer simple inexpensive solutions to help you get the HIGHEST POSSIBLE PRICE for your house.

Call us NOW!

We can make a difference..............and you will get the benefit in £££££££££££££££'s

Go on, call us, we'll even supply the fresh flowers when we finish.

[derek west]

i like the letter but theres something about the last paragraph with the "don't try doing it your self" i think it starts sounding dictative. you've all ready politely told them that they should get there carpets cleaned, but then your telling them how. i'd leave that bit out, there either DIYers or there not. but other than that, i'm printing this letter off, a few minor adjustments and then i'm on rightmove taking down all the addresses.
derek

[Ian Gourlay]

Mike i know only rush back to do spot and stains that have reoccured or missed  or any that happen since I cleaned Carpet for 7 days

If they had protector longer Thats what i say.

BUT
In reality I would go anytime 

[Doctor Carpet (Ret'd)]

Mike i know only rush back to do spot and stains that have reoccured or missed  or any that happen since I cleaned Carpet for 7 days

Got called back to a house to remove a coffee stain that occurred nearly 3 weeks after having cleaned the entire room. Charged my normal fee for stain removal. However the client wasn't there whilst I was undertaking the stain removal.

Client sent cheque by return with letter saying he thought it outrageous to charge fee for stain removal so soon after having paid me to clean the room for him!

Therefore, he said. "I will not be using Doctor Carpet ever again."

The irony was that before the carpet clean he had only ever used me once before and that had been to clean his suite some 5 years previously.

O well, you can't win them all; but at least I have been paid for all that I have done.

[Paul Davidson]

Hi Paul,

Sounds pretty good to me, well done mate, good patter for sure!

With fliers we really have to watch that we dont get too wordy, because generally speaking people cant be bothered to read it.  if they see lots of text they just give up before they start!

I agree with Jim    You should miss out the first couple of lines and start with 'you've tidied the house............

And agree with Derek with regards to the 'Dont try it yourself' sentence, !

But a pretty good effort i would say.

Not sure if the estate agents put addresses on the websits of the For Sale properties!

Were you going to mail shot them or leaflet drop them?

cheers

Paul

[kinder clean]

I was just going to keep a batch in the van and drop off at propertys with the for sale boards up.

May put in an envelope with ' F.A.O. Seller of this property ' hand written.

Paul

[Paul Davidson]

Well, there are plenty for sale!

cheers and good luck with the leaflet.

Paul

[kinder clean]

OK here is the revised version - better or worst, I'm now at the 'can't see the wood for the trees' stage as i've been sat in front of the PC for way to long!! 

QUESTION - WHAT FIRST IMPRESSION WILL YOUR BUYERS HAVE WHEN THEY SEE YOUR CARPETS?

Please read this letter and take a moment to glance down - ask yourself what will your buyers think when they see or even smell your carpets - No matter how careful you are carpets will inevitably become dirty, unseen bacteria, pets or smoking all cause bad odours which stick to your carpet. Kinder Clean will deep clean your carpets, leaving them clean & fresh once more.

FACT - When a potential buyer enters your property, they will generally make up there mind in the first two minutes, its vital to create a lasting positive impression.
We can revive your carpets, restore them to there very best, whilst leaving them smelling
citrus fresh.

FACT - Clean, fresh smelling carpets will help sell your house.
We offer the best carpet cleaning service available - guaranteed - If your not entirely satisfied we will re-clean the area for free, if your still not happy the clean is for free. Other carpet cleaners don’t offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee, we take pride in the service we provide and are confident of our customers satisfaction.

FACT - Bad odour caused by unseen bacteria, smoking, or pets, can mean the difference between a sale or another disappointment.
We use the most powerful PHWE carpet cleaning equipment available, it removes more dirt and eliminates odour better than any other, whilst leaving your carpets dry in the quickest time possible.

FACT - Carpets are one of the largest investments a home owner has to make.
Your prospective buyer will visit many similar properties in their search for the perfect home, if the choice came down to one that had dirty carpets and one with bright, clean, freshly scented carpets, the latter would always be more attractive to the prospective buyer.

REMEMBER - WHEN SELLING YOUR HOME, ESPECIALLY IN THE CURRENT CLIMATE - FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT- SO GIVE YOURSELF THE EDGE OVER THE COMPETITION. 

CALL US NOW FREE ON - 0800 195 6915   MOBILE 07506 002266

Kinder Clean promote safe, green cleaning, using non toxic, environmentally friendly cleaning products

Any further input before we go to print!!  Paul

[derek west]

bit long winded for me that one, short and sweet and to the point, just like the original.
here what i'm going to use.

                                                                   FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT

When selling your property in this difficult climate you need to do everything you can to increase your chances of a sale.

Having dirty carpets will immediately put a negative thought in the mind of your potential buyers, carpets are one of the largest investments a home owner has to make, if your potential buyer thinks they may need to replace them then this may put them  off.

Put yourself one step ahead of your competition  before they do.

Here at affordable cleaners, we don't cut corners, we clean them, leaving your carpets clean and fresh and full of life, ready for your next potential purchaser.

Call now for a quote on blah blah blah

affordable cleaners, cleaning your homes not your wallets.

[dan roberts]

Its difficult creating a leaflet, good on you for the pitch, the angle is right for this credit crunching climate, you'll do well, leaflets are cheap (DP Printing, good service amazing value) distribution expensive, or d.i.y, time consuming.
But, the mind set is right, changing with the times, Good luck.

Dan