And now we introduce our guest speaker, Mr. Richard Wiltshire from Lancashire who will regale us with his life story for the next thirty minutes.
RW: "Errr Kof Kof umm unaccustomed as I am to public speaking I have put a few lines together to tell you about my life as a window cleaner."
Heckler: "I say, d'you get to see any unusual sights when you're uppa laddah?"
RW: "No, not really I have this long pole that I erect to get up to the customers upper storey and ... "
Heckler: "Oooooh I bet you do! Did you hear that Gladys, he's got a long pole!"
RW: "No! I mean I stand on the ground and I get it up and right into the corners where all the crud and spiders webs are and scoop them out."
Heckler 2: "I'm 79 and I've got cobwebs and spiders everywhere ..."
(Room collapses into raucous laughter)
RW: (Blushing) "No, you misunderstand me, it's much safer with me on the ground and my pole spraying up at your bedroom window ... you can look out and see me rub your top cill to a nice shine if you want to..."
(More laughter with tears rolling down the ladies' faces)
The Verger barges in all flustered and starts berating RW.
"What do you think you are doing young man; this is a christian gathering of fine upstanding ladies ..."
Heckler 3 "Oooh vicar! It's not us who are upstanding ... it's 'im!"
Verger: "Right I'm off to get his reverence!"
RW: "Um er I didn't ... I mean ... "
Vicar: "Now then what's going on here?"
Heckler 1: "Nothing vicar, we've asked this rude young man to leave and would you like a nice cup of tea and a french fancy, vicar?"
RW leaves, his head hanging in shame with yet another fine story for cleanitup, while the vicar sups his cup with the fine ladies of the W.I.