[AuRavelling79]

One of my favourite custy's - young looking attractive 40 yr old yummy mummy who gives out tea, cake and biccies comes to the door looking tanned and refreshed.

YM. "Hi Malcolm, you just caught us coming home from holiday; cuppa for you and Dan?"

MG. "Yeah thanks (chit chat) you're looking tanned! Where'd you go?"

YM. "Spain (chit chat - kids aged about 6 and 10, blonde hair, blue eyes and incredibly brown run out the door) - it was really hot. etc"

MG. "Look at you kids! You've got a better tan then your mum."

Hubby comes to door grinning from ear to ear (first time I've seen him in a year or more) - "Yeah that's down to me - I gave them a head start!"

He's only mixed race!   

[keyser soze]

 

[britishwill]

Classic! Great story

[bobplum]

LUV IT

[Richard60]

first time i smiled today .

[David Salkeld]

Malc,

Can quote it in my Friday club routine 

[SB Cleaning]

 

[Tom White]

I once said to a customer...

"Oh, I didn't realise you're going to have a baby!"  She had this really pregnant looking stomach on her.

She said, "I'm not!"

I said, "I'm going to go around this corner and give myself a good kicking.  Bye bye", and off I went.

[Granny]

Desperate, cleaning windows one day in a really run down slummy council estate in Ireland.
Gets the job and the woman a real stunner, looked really classy, made us a cuppa.
"Why don't you go down to (well known holiday resort), she says,  I'm sure you'll get plenty of work there".
Replies "Oh we've tried but there's some big shot gangster type there owns nearly every pub, hotel, arcade, restaruant, apartment, house, he even owns the football team.  You name it he owns it - every time we ask they say "Oh you'll have to see Whatsisname it really P***es us off!!"
Oh she says "That's my Dad!!!!"
Small world - who would have thought the daughter of a man who owns almost an entire town would be living like that?
Open mouth insert foot!!

[richardlingard]

wasnt Cherlyl Cole was it

[*Hector*]

doubt you would know what to do with her if it was.......

[Perfect Windows]

I once said to a customer...

"Oh, I didn't realise you're going to have a baby!"  She had this really pregnant looking stomach on her.

She said, "I'm not!"

I said, "I'm going to go around this corner and give myself a good kicking.  Bye bye", and off I went.

No, no, no, no, no.  The golden rule is that unless a woman tells you she's pregnant then you must not comment unless you can actually see a baby's head emerging.

Schoolboy error!

Vin

[Tom White]

I once said to a customer...

"Oh, I didn't realise you're going to have a baby!"  She had this really pregnant looking stomach on her.

She said, "I'm not!"

I said, "I'm going to go around this corner and give myself a good kicking.  Bye bye", and off I went.

No, no, no, no, no.  The golden rule is that unless a woman tells you she's pregnant then you must not comment unless you can actually see a baby's head emerging.

Schoolboy error!

Vin

I know I know I know, but it looked SO OBVIOUS she was pregnant, I didn't think there's be a chance it was just fat.

But it was! 

[robbo333]

Cleaning custys house today (very hot yummy mummy) when a lovely lady walking her dog walks by, wearing a rather small summer dress. Naturally I turned off the water (well you do) turned to her and said good morning. To which she replied and smiled. As she walked away I said to myself "wow very sexy" (but I actually said it out loud) turned back to turn the water on and my custy is standing there smiling at me. Ooooops!

[Dave Willis]

The most embarrassing thing is that Gold is fancying ladies in their forties!

[AuRavelling79]

The most embarrassing thing is that Gold is fancying ladies in their forties!

I know - they're way too young for me! 

[Ian Lancaster]

I was standing at a door chatting to a customer once when a woman walking past on the other side of the road and waved at me and shouted 'Hiya'.  Not wanting to seem rude I waved back and shouted 'Hi' to her.  I turned to my customer and said: 'I haven't the faintest who that was.'

'I'm not surprised', she said, 'She was waving at me!'

[Spruce]

I was standing at a door chatting to a customer once when a woman walking past on the other side of the road and waved at me and shouted 'Hiya'.  Not wanting to seem rude I waved back and shouted 'Hi' to her.  I turned to my customer and said: 'I haven't the faintest who that was.'

'I'm not surprised', she said, 'She was waving at me!'

 

[Spruce]

I once said to a customer...

"Oh, I didn't realise you're going to have a baby!"  She had this really pregnant looking stomach on her.

She said, "I'm not!"

I said, "I'm going to go around this corner and give myself a good kicking.  Bye bye", and off I went.

Hi Tosh,
do you still clean her windows?

[Tom White]

I once said to a customer...

"Oh, I didn't realise you're going to have a baby!"  She had this really pregnant looking stomach on her.

She said, "I'm not!"

I said, "I'm going to go around this corner and give myself a good kicking.  Bye bye", and off I went.

Hi Tosh,
do you still clean her windows?

It wasn't really her windows in the first place, it was her Mum's, who I still clean.  But she used to pay me.  I don't see her now 'cos she's moved out.