Clean It Up

UK Floor Cleaning Forum => Carpet Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: Colin Day on January 27, 2010, 10:02:01 pm

Title: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Colin Day on January 27, 2010, 10:02:01 pm
On completion of a job today, a friend of the lady who's carpets I cleaned asked, "How long is it guaranteed for before it gets dirty again?"

It's rare I'm ever lost for words as most of you know, but I was speechless :D

What's the daftest thing you've been asked?
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Steve Barnett (Carpet Care Plus) on January 27, 2010, 10:04:11 pm
Do you mind if I pay you in cash ?  ???
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Michael Smallwood on January 27, 2010, 10:19:59 pm
Can you clean the bleach mark?

or

Do you want paying now or later?
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: markpowell on January 27, 2010, 10:22:54 pm
Would you mind running over this rug while your here, only take you 2 mins??
What with the van??
Mark
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Mark Lawrence on January 27, 2010, 10:25:07 pm
"Oh, can you do the top box room before you go" (on the top floor attic level), just when you have put the last of the hosing away in the van  ::)

Mark
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Bob Allen on January 27, 2010, 11:09:28 pm
Went to quote for an indian gentleman, who asked "whats your best price"
I added an extra £200 to a £95 job
he looked at me confused and i said
"thats a good price for me"
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Colin Day on January 27, 2010, 11:16:27 pm
Went to quote for an indian gentleman, who asked "whats your best price"
I added an extra £200 to a £95 job
he looked at me confused and i said
"thats a good price for me"

I'll try that next time ;D Top tip!!!!!
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Paul Simpson on January 28, 2010, 12:25:25 am
Similar to yours Colin.
5 months after cleaning, they ring up and asked how long I gaurantee the clean for.
Told them I'd give them 10% off to go back again, they were happy with that.

Yesterday - carpet clean for a single room, told them minimum charge and could maybe do another small area within that price.
In a serious voice "Oh, you do upholstery, can you do my 3 seater & 2 armchairs as well"  ::)
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Jim_77 on January 28, 2010, 01:35:28 am
I think the most stupid question I've ever been asked is "Do you clean carpets?" :)
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: gary hall on January 28, 2010, 08:41:31 am
Did a  front room carpet last year for an old lady who asked :

'Can you get that iron mark out ?'
 
I replied of course that it would be impossible as the fibre had been burnt  , she then said 'Oh your not that good then are you' .

I spent the rest of the day in stiches - as the great Jim Morrison said

people are strange !!!!!!!
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: cozy on January 28, 2010, 10:33:51 am
I think the most stupid question I've ever been asked is "Do you clean carpets?" :)

Got a Facebook site for our firm. Check out the second post on there. ::) My site is called "BFG Window CARPET & UPHOLSTERY cleaner.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&gid=217388302773
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: richy27 on January 28, 2010, 02:50:26 pm
Domestic custo"mer  " can i have a months credit"  my clever response if i do say so myself  " cause you can i will book it in and come and do it in 30 days time.
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: clinton on January 28, 2010, 03:45:23 pm
How about when they say to you i will   boil the kettle for some hot water for you ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Jim_77 on January 28, 2010, 04:01:59 pm
Only one answer to that Clinton - cup of tea please!
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: clinton on January 28, 2010, 04:52:50 pm
Jim ;D

I always hint ;D and the bicie tin ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Mike Halliday on January 28, 2010, 05:47:27 pm
stupidest question is.....

would you like a piece of homemade chocolate cake with your coffee?

do they think I became a fat bast*^d by fasting :D :D :D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: michael wadsworth on January 28, 2010, 05:49:11 pm
Back in the seventies most of our work was in the Liverpool area and I worked with a guy who was the spitting image of Freddy Garraty(Freddy and the dreamers), on switching on the machine for the first time on any job he would give the client 5 minutes to mention a cuppa, then he would go to them and ask whether or not there was a little cafe nearby where he could get a cup of tea, "Oh would you like a cuppa?" they would ask, "Yes and don't break me yolk" he would reply. 9 out of ten times we would be sitting down to toast egg and tea within 10 minutes, and that was typical of the people of Liverpool- very hospitable. Mike
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Colin Day on January 28, 2010, 05:52:10 pm
9 out of ten times we would be sitting down to toast egg and tea within 10 minutes, and that was typical of the people of Liverpool- very hospitable. Mike

Until you went outside and your porty was on bricks ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: michael wadsworth on January 28, 2010, 06:05:42 pm
9 out of ten times we would be sitting down to toast egg and tea within 10 minutes, and that was typical of the people of Liverpool- very hospitable. Mike

Until you went outside and your porty was on bricks ;D ;D ;D
Colin you boys are spoiled, a good portie did not exist at that time, we were using rotary scrubbers where, subsequent to cleaning you had to get big arms using a special Servicemaster rake(Still got two) to get out the swirl marks, then came the revolutionary rotary absorbent pads (I'm filling up here lads) Mike
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Colin Day on January 28, 2010, 09:10:01 pm
9 out of ten times we would be sitting down to toast egg and tea within 10 minutes, and that was typical of the people of Liverpool- very hospitable. Mike

Until you went outside and your porty was on bricks ;D ;D ;D
Colin you boys are spoiled, a good portie did not exist at that time, we were using rotary scrubbers where, subsequent to cleaning you had to get big arms using a special Servicemaster rake(Still got two) to get out the swirl marks, then came the revolutionary rotary absorbent pads (I'm filling up here lads) Mike
I take my hat off to you Mike!!! Are you still doing the job?
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: shine services on January 28, 2010, 11:05:53 pm
I had a customer the other day ask me "will you do a good job, yeh?" i felt like saying no just to see ther reaction ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Mark Slaney on January 29, 2010, 01:26:12 pm


  "Wow the've come up great".  I have'nt cleaned them yet!

 
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: john rees on January 29, 2010, 04:20:42 pm
The best one I've been asked was by an old lady that was passing the house I was running the pipes into from the truckmount. "how much do you charge for cavity wall insulation young man?"  ;D

                     John
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: michael wadsworth on January 29, 2010, 04:35:41 pm
9 out of ten times we would be sitting down to toast egg and tea within 10 minutes, and that was typical of the people of Liverpool- very hospitable. Mike

Until you went outside and your porty was on bricks ;D ;D ;D
Colin you boys are spoiled, a good portie did not exist at that time, we were using rotary scrubbers where, subsequent to cleaning you had to get big arms using a special Servicemaster rake(Still got two) to get out the swirl marks, then came the revolutionary rotary absorbent pads (I'm filling up here lads) Mike
I take my hat off to you Mike!!! Are you still doing the job?
Yes Colin, I'm into my 39th year now and may I say I've never known such a slow January. Good day today, I cleaned a suite and a sunshine lounge for a pair of 85 year olds, just after I set up and was prepping the cushions, he shouted "Hey Mary come and look at this poufee, it's come up like new", I'd not even pre-spayed it, so I knew the universe was blue, then, come pay time she gave me a £22 dropsy(tip).  The wine will be truly fine tonight. Mike
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Colin Day on January 29, 2010, 04:59:20 pm
£22 tip? Spot on...... Don Perignon for you tonight!!! :D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: peter maybury on January 29, 2010, 06:20:40 pm
I once went to a cutomer who had moved their 3 piece suite down to the bottom of the garden for me to clean. They must have thought I was going to jet wash it!.

Peter
www,carpetcleanercardiff.com
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: clinton on January 29, 2010, 07:17:40 pm
Colin

Like your comments on martin lewis,s facebook ;D heard him also on radio 2  ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Colin Day on January 29, 2010, 07:44:54 pm
Colin

Like your comments on martin lewis,s facebook ;D heard him also on radio 2  ;D


He replied too...  :D I've been in a right argumentative mood today ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: clinton on January 29, 2010, 08:05:30 pm
Colin i will check your facebook page out lol ;D

Dont upset him ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Simon@arenaclean on January 29, 2010, 08:29:18 pm
I once went to a cutomer who had moved their 3 piece suite down to the bottom of the garden for me to clean. They must have thought I was going to jet wash it!.

Peter
www,carpetcleanercardiff.com

I had a stair carpet removed for me, it was on the drive ready  ;D They just could not work out how I was going to do it.
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: peter maybury on January 29, 2010, 09:03:42 pm
another busy body once told me I should have warning signs out to warn blind people about the hoses.

Peter
www.truckmountcarpetcleaner.co.uk  (http://www.truckmountcarpetcleaner.co.uk)
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Simon@arenaclean on January 30, 2010, 03:04:35 pm
another busy body once told me I should have warning signs out to warn blind people about the hoses.

Peter
www.truckmountcarpetcleaner.co.uk  (http://www.truckmountcarpetcleaner.co.uk)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: jasonl on January 30, 2010, 03:35:46 pm
Colin

Like your comments on martin lewis,s facebook ;D heard him also on radio 2  ;D


He replied too...  :D I've been in a right argumentative mood today ;D ;D ;D

I just added a piece  on there about carpet cleaning.
Title: Re: Stupid Questions!!!!
Post by: Doctor Carpet (Ret'd) on January 30, 2010, 03:42:04 pm
Pete's reply reminds me of a light-hearted talk I went to many years ago given by the owner of a local radio station. it was most amusing.

The funniest story I think though was when he wished to convey that one had to be particularly carful that you didn't discriminate against anybody or anything. Thus....

on the Breakfast show on his station they used to run a competition where a daily national newspaper was chosen at random  and the first person who rang in to say what the headline was on ,say, page 6, would win a prize.

Some busybody rang in to complain that this was a discrimination against blind people as they could not enter into the competition.

Our hero's reply was a classic (and probably explained why he runs a local radio station and I am but a lowly carpet cleaner). He said,

"O no sir. We would never discriminate; especially against the blind. And I can prove it to you. Some of our listeners are deaf.....they don't even know there is a competition to enter.
 :o ;D :o ;D