Clean It Up
UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: Colin_Glenn on July 05, 2004, 09:29:43 pm
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Hello All.
Right now I am suffering from painful ribs. :o When I was at work last week I was on a table cleaning large windows inside a Pub. I was using my 24 inch squeegee and when I finished I put it in my bucket on a Belt. In a hurry as always :-[ I jumped off the table. The bottom of the bucket hit the top of the table and rammed the end of the squeegee into my ribs. :'( :'(
It still hurts, I have officially bruised a rib. I was fortunate it hit a rib and didn't stab me! I have a lovely half inch mark on my side. I am still working but veeeery slowly. I can rest when the rain comes at the end of the week. ;)
So the moral is.... Don't put very long squeegees onto your bucket on a belt and then jump off things. ::)
Colin
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Ouch!!!!
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I had a very similar experience once when climbing over a back gate and dropping down the other side.
The boab hit my knee and the squeegee jabbed me just under the ribs. You could easily impale yourself, so be careful of that everyone!
-Philip
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Unfortunatly this is a lesson to us all on what Risk Assesments are designed for :(
Having had a squeegee drop on my head from a great height a good few years ago, I never worked directly under anyone again!
Glyn
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Having had a squeegee drop on my head from a great height a good few years ago
~Old Master
Oh,.....that's why you're like you are! ;D
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Your not the first to say that Martin ;D
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Whilst out knocking yesterday my collegue knocked on the door of a local minor celeb who happens to be gay ;)
Pleased that the celeb says he would be interested in having the windows of his terraced cottage cleaned my friend starts to price it up. Having looked at the front he then asks " Do we have access to the rear.....!!!!" to which he replies "only via my neighbours back passage" :o
At which point me vanishes before losing job through fits of laughter while my mate waits for the ground to open up and swallow him :o
Anyone else had a case of foot and mouth ;D
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Top stuff!!
Made my day reading that!!
Regards
Kev...............
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It's a long time since there was a funny stories thread - how about some more please?
I'll start you off - not long after I started window cleaning my mate had bought a round and was doing the first clean after purchase - I had a bit of spare time and was helping him.
Anyway, one summer we're in a posh suburb of Bristol and my mate knocks at the door - no reply - and we start cleaning. On the front upper window sill I notice a naturists magazine, say nothing about it and carry on cleaning. Front done so climb over gate and plonk down on the other side.
I'm putting up ladder at back when my mate notices a chap up to his waist in bushes and says "Sorry mate, we knocked at the front but there was no reply." Red-faced male householder turns round from bushes with nothing on except a Panama hat (Yes that's right - tackle out!) and a pair of secateurs in his hand and says "What the _____ are you doing here?" "Clear off!"
Turns out my mate had read the numbers wrong and we weren't even supposed to do this guys house at all! As he was being completely unreasonable about the whole genuine misunderstanding I must admit I did suggest "that he go careful with those secateurs!" as I climbed back over the gate.
I nearly wet myself laughing the moment I was out of sight! My mate was strangely unamused.
Happy times!
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A lad that used to work for me, years ago, was trying to clean an upstairs window, there was a shed almost directly under the window, so he had to put ladder by side of shed, and stretch out to try and reach window.
The householder was watching him, and after seeing him fall off his ladder onto the shed roof 3 times, householder shouts to him...." IT'S A GOOD JOB I PUT THAT SHED THERE, IT KEEPS BREAKING YOUR FALL "
::)Blessings ::)
Graeme
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same lad on another occasion, left his rucksack round the front of one of the houses he was cleaning. When he had finished the back,came round the front to find a dog had rummaged through his rucksack, found his butty box, carefully pulled out his sandwiches, and eaten all the meat, leaving the bread at the side.
This lad if he was late in the mornings, used to have a mars bar wrapped up in dry bread, for his breakfast. If he farted in the van, we had to evacuate it.
::)Blessings ::)
Graeme
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Some years ago now, I had dropped the two lads who were working for me at the time onto a house that was having inside and out cleaned. A bit of a pig pen clean and a large house too.
I had gone off to clean something more pleasant and left them with the crappy job (hey, I was the boss, I could do that ;D)
On calling back to hopefully find them waiting for me, job done, money collected, I found the one lad waiting outside the house with a worried expression on his face.
He had been cleaning an opening light and he had knocked the catch holding it causing it to slam shut. It was one of those horrible metal casement windows and the opening light had smashed.
The customer was a little upset So I was busy pacifying her as I explained I would re-glaze the pane for her.
The lads were continuing to work as I talked to her, but it was like the 'funeral effect'
Customer was talking to me, over her shoulder and behind her the lads were in another room cleaning as I was telling the customer what I was going to do, they in turn were smirking as they caught my eye, then they were trying to stop themselves laughing, smacking each other on the shoulders as they degenerated into stupid, hysterical but silent laughter.
Meanwhile I am trying to stop it having the same effect on myself :-X, the customer cannot see them remember, but I can.
At one point the one lad has to walk out of the room past us to get to another window in another room, he is walking towards me with tears rolling down his face and a scrim stuffed into his mouth to stop him laughing :-[
The customer isn't competely stupid though, and she knows something is going on, the bridge of her nose was whitening as she tried to contain herself.
I'm sure she must have heard the odd stiffled s n i g g e r :P
It was all settled amicably enough, and I docked the cost of the glazing from the muppett who bust the window too.........that soon stopped him laughing ;D
On another occasion on the self same house some months later, I was cleaning the outside of the back of the house, I was on their tiled roof doing some dormers and I was busy cleaning away and saw the husband through one of the windows.
I nodded a gretting at him and carried on cleaning the window.......
It's funny isn't it? But when you are cleaning away, you quite often don't notice what is on the other side of the glass do you?
I notice the husband lean forward and tear off some toilet paper and wipe his backside :o
I promise you, I honestly didn't realise it was the toilet window :-[
I could have died with embarrasment :-[
What the customer thought of nodding a greeting at the window cleaner as he took a dump I have no idea, I sure as hell wasn't going to ask him :-X
Ian
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one day, a new lad working for me, came up to me and said the lad he was working with had sent him to me for a long weight, so I said o.k. stand there and I'll be back in a moment. I came back about `15 minutes later and asked him if he had waited long enough !!
Another time I came around the front of a house and this lad was standing with both feet in a bucket, and trying to pick himself up with the handle, other lads were giggling at him. so I walked up to him and told him he would never lift himself up with both feet in the bucket, try standing on one leg . He did, but somehow he never did manage to pick himself up !
::)Blessings ::)
Graeme
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Posts: 13
Business is looking up !!!
Re: More Funny Stories!
« Reply #5 on: Today at 04:59:50pm »
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Some years ago I used to clean a big house out in the country, problem was there was this yappy Jack Russel that used to run around and bite my foot when I put it on the first rung of ladder. I got a bit fed up with this, it didn't hurt, just irritated me.
So one day I had my bucket right by side of me, and sure enough around came the dog, well this time it got abucket of water over it's head, and off it skulked to it's kennel.It never bothered me again, didn't even bark at me.
Some month's later lady of house was in, made me cup of tea, whilst having a chat she said, " I can't work it out, that dog of mine barks at everything that moves, but doesn't make a sound when your around "
I told her what I had done some month's earlier, she said " well it seems to have worked "
About 5 minutes later I heard a horse clip clopping down the road close to the house, Jack Russel was out of kennel like a rocket, barking away, when suddenly I heard a bucket of water being deposited over it's head, and a sad yelp. Shortly followed by a cry of " it works "
Same woman once asked me to clean her chimney by dropping a brick down it, daft me climbed on roof to try, real high, I started to slip down tiles and thought I was going to fall off, just managed to catch hold of top of ladder and put my foot in metal gutter. A real knee trembler.
I wasn't certain but I thought I saw the Jack Russel laughing in it's kennel !!
Blessings
Graeme
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Posts: 14
Business is looking up !!!
Re: More Funny Stories!
« Reply #6 on: Today at 05:17:20pm »
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on my last post I kept trying to put " jack Russel s n i g g e r i n g in it's kennel "
When I looked on the post it was changed to sblack personing........either some one was aving a larf or there must be some kind of automatic Political Correctness editing on this forum
Blessings
Graeme
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During the early days I asked a mate if I could work for him for half a day without pay to learn the ropes. We start cleaning, him doing top windows, me bottom windows.
Picture the scene - rough housing estate - walking side by side - him with ladders.
Me: Ever had any accidents?
Him: No, nothing major, I've had my ladders blow over but that's all.
Me: What's the secret then?
Him: Always be careful, watch where you put your ladder and check the surface is safe. Aaaaaarrgghh!
(As he was explaining safety, he'd only fallen down an open manhole up to his waist - it was hilarious - he was stood there still holding his ladder on his shoulder with his head at my waist height!)
No real harm done except a grazed shin!
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Whilst out knocking my collegue knocked on the door of a local minor celeb who happens to be gay ;)
Pleased that the celeb says he would be interested in having the windows of his terraced cottage cleaned my friend starts to price it up. Having looked at the front he then asks " Do we have access to the rear.....!!!!" to which he replies "only via my neighbours back passage" :D
At which point me vanishes before losing job through fits of laughter while my mate waits for the ground to open up and swallow him :'(
the icing on the cake was when we went back to do the first clean and he asks us how much to clear his gutter :o
Anyone else had a case of foot and mouth
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:o :o :o :o :o :o Today something happend that i have to share with you all.
myself and the guy i work with were about to start a job this morning, its a nice 12 pound job, takes bout 8 min with 2 of us. nice and easy. i was doing the down's and my mate was doing the ups, singing along merrily.
when my m8 went to climb the garage roof to do the skylights on the extension roof, he had a bit of a shock.
all i heard was the sound of the ladder being placed against the garage, followed by him going up the ladder.
all went quiet as i was scriming the downs,
i walked round the crner of the house to see him flying down the ladder white as a sheet and in complete shock.
the expression on his face was priceless, i said whats up??
to which he replied "i feel sick" then "oh my god" followed by that image is gonna haunt me forever" i said what what what tell me.
as he leant over the skylight, there below him was the owner of the house, thingy in hand, whacking for england!!!!!!! :o :o :o
laugh..........
...i laughed my nutz off, we went back to van had a cuppa and a fAg then had to go finish. the guy was nowhere to be seen, when we knocked for the money...nothing....absouloutly nothing.
i wonder if he'll be there tonight when my mate goes collecting.
what a tosser eh.. ;)
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A short while back we called on a regular customer (who is elderly, gay and very camp) and as my partner pressed the bell it fell off the door frame onto the floor and fell apart. It was one of those newish wireless door bellls and the sticky pad holding it to the frame had separated itself from the bell.
As my partner picked the bits up the customer opened the door. My partner stood there chatting away holding the bits behind his back. The customer said he didn't want his windows done as he was on his way out very shortly.
We walked the 50 yds or so back to the van and tried to put the bell push back together but in doing so, the bell press got pushed.
The houses in this street have no gardens and the front doors open straight onto the street. We saw the customers head appear and look down the street and then up the street at us. Not knowing what to do, because we were staring at him, and him at us, we all waved and all shouted 'goodbye' to him. He waved and shouted 'goodbye' back.
The young lad who works with us decided for a laugh (he's 17) to push the bell again. The customers head appeared again and we all waved and shouted 'goodbye' again. The customer again waved and shouted 'goodbye' back.
Anyway, after a bit of an arguement of what to do, we decided to walk back and try to quickly stick the doorbell back back on the doorframe.
At his door, we were trying to get the bl**dy thing to stick when the customer opens the front door to leave.
There was a stunned silence and my partner decided to come clean and explain what had happened. Fortunately, the customer saw the funny side of it.
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I've had a couple of customers with 'stickey' doorbell buttons....it's a bit embarrasing as the door opens to 'OK, ok....stop ringing the bell' when I'm stood ten feet back trying to look innocent, and the bloody thing's STILL ringing !...doh!
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I had one of those bells a while back that stuck pushed in and I didn't know.
The customer opened the door with 'door rage'.
He then ran back inside his house and came back with steak mallet and smashed the bell from the door frame ruining the mallet in the process.
He then stood there looking at me breathing heavily and shouted 'What do you want'.
I held up my squeegie and said weakly 'We clean your windows'.
He said a sort of 'Oh. Thank you. Yes.'
We cleaned his windows and he paid us and off we went.
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LOL....yeah I can understand that......I get day's when just the slightest push and I'm turned into.....'The Cleaner from Hell'.....I can be a right irritable sod if/when things are not going as I want them to......ahh, it's all about anger management I guess. Recently joined another forum.....great for having a whinge...here's the link (nothing to do with windows, I hasten to add...but worth a look)
http://www.grumpyoldwomen.co.uk/forum/phpBB210/viewforum.php?f=3&sid=c58e52a8d1d1ad70dcc68e2203efbc3a
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PS my posting name is Grumplestiltskin.......and sometimes the subject of window cleaners comes up....I joined to fight back !
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Thanks for the link.
Oh yes. I'll be registering tonight.
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Yesterday I had to do a gutter cleaning job, I estimated it would take me 1 and a half hours so priced it at £55-00. not bad me thinks £55-00 for less than 2 hours work, arrive at the house 9am, it is a middle house of a set of 3 terrace, I’m halfway through doing the front when the house owner pops out and says to me, “just off to work now do you need me to hang around” ……. “No” says I ……“as long as the back gate is open there’s no problems”
So off she goes. I’ve now finished the front, make my way to the rear gate and start on the back gutters, 30 minutes later I’m looking up at my work and thinking brill “it’s only taken me just over 1hour” so I pack up my gear and back to my window cleaning round. At 9 o’clock this morning I gets a call on my mobile. Customer…. “hi jay Karen here, you did the gutters yesterday, brilliant job! However you cleaned my neighbours rear gutters and not mine, you must have gone through the first gate and not the second one.” ………So today in between jobs I had to go back again and do her rear gutters which took me a further 30 minutes. So at the end of the day the overall job did take me the 2 hours I first anticipated. Incidentally I was hoping to catch the neighbours in and explain that I cleaned their rear gutters by mistake and I could also do the fronts maybe at a discounted rate to recuperate my lost time, alas they are out to work all day so I missed them.
So I think the moral of the story here is for me to slow down a bit and get it right or tell the customer that they are not allowed to leave the house until I have finished the job in case I end up in the wrong back garden.
Has anyone else any similar stories?
:P
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I recently climbed over a back gate and, through the patio windows, saw an old bloke sprawled out on the sofa, watching a film. He was REALLY enjoying his own company (if you know what I mean).
I don't know who got the biggest shock. He ran. I cleaned the windows. I didn't knock for the money, just stuck a note though and picked the cash up from his missis later in the week!
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don't know about funny story.....but I've cleaned the wrong windows more than once...especially new round/customers.....s'pose it's funny...but annoying at the time...(my new customers are handed to me on a computer printout...I go there 'blind')
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I think we've all done that! Only I reckon I've done it more, (and I don't want to sound like 'Billy Two Sheds' here).
Once, while up a ladder, wind blowing - a woman shouted to me and asked me to clean her windows. We negotiated a price and she left. I knew the area very well.
I turned up to clean, a little suprised it was a bungalow, but cracked on anyway.
They weren't in. I came to collect. They weren't in. Every time I call for my money and receive no answer, I leave a 'Your window cleaner came to collect' certificate. I call twice and on the second time leave a 'It will be added to next month' chit.
Well, I cleaned the place three times, over three months and one day received a phone call. (I put my telephone number on all my stationery.)
The call basically said, we didn't ask you to clean our windows, and we're hardly home anyway. Well, I was polite, but did state that they could've phoned me sooner than let me clean their windows for three months.
Wor lass went mad! She would've bricked their windows if I let her!
So, I doubt there's many here that's cleaned the wrong house three months in a row - apart from me. I am a Geordie mind!
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Never done the wrong house 3 times but I've done the wrong house twice.
Last summer.
Lady stops us in the street, she gives us her address, etc, we take a look, phone her with the price and she agrees. We do her windows put SAE throught door etc.
She phones up a few days later and speaks to my (busines) partner to ask when we were going to do her windows.
We discover we've done the house next door (and no - they didn't want to pay) in error and so the next day at the end of our round, we squeeze in the ladies house.
All well and good.
The next month, on the day this same ladies house is due, my partner goes to the dentist so we arrange I work the morning, get done what I can on my own, and then pick him up after he's been to the dentist and carry on.
The first job is this same ladies house. I turn up and do her windows and carry on with the round.
A week or so later the same lady phones up and asked when were we going to clean her windows.
I done the windows on the same wrong house twice.
der..............
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lol...I bet they think it's great....free window cleaning...I hope they don't tell all their friends...
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Just a wry look at those irritating little things......
Doesn't it annoy you when; Instead of extending your pole an extra couple of feet, you stretch as high as you can with your pole, getting really close to the wall of the house, and a dripper runs down the pole and all the way along your arm under your clothes, down your armpit and all the way down your side :o I hate it when that happens :-\
And don't you hate it when; You have your pole extended as high as it will go, and you are struggling to reach up and loosen your clamp when it suddenly goes really loose as that section drops all the way and pinches your finger before you tighten the clamp again :'(
Doesn't it annoy you when; You get in to the car after the weekend and find the footwell full of water and a half empty 25L container in the back and you can only blame yourself for not unhooking the feed hose from the container to the hose reel, who would have thought that the little drip from that not quite perfect connection could have empied out the container :-[
Anyone else?
I have a few more little observations, but I'm running late (Don't you hate it when that happens! lol)
Ian
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Sigh, home for lunch :P
Another little addition to Doesn't it annoy you when...
Doesn't it annoy you when; You dash off to your first account of the day.......then find you have left behind the 'pole hose' in your rush to get started on time as a result of making postings on here before you go to work >:(
Ian
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Dosen't it annoy you when you get to the top of your ladder, start to clean and then smell :'( the sweet smell of dog muck. You look down to see it on every rung, also your trousers. I think this is the baptism of a true window cleanner. :)
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i got to a job and realised i had forgot to put my ladder on the car >:(
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Finished a job and drove off with the ladders resting on the back of me van !! woke the whole street up with the crash of two ladders hitting the floor.!!
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when you get to the top of your ladder then realise you left your applicator in the bucket... my brothers always forgetting something! ;D
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Yep and if aint the applicator it's the squeegie or scrim
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You've only used bungees for your ladder and you're overtaking a lorry at 60mph and lose your ladders into the fast lane of the dual carriageway.
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You've got one job that's way off the round and their out when you call having phoned the night before to make sure they're in.
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You clamber over a 'normally locked' back gate, only to discover it's open and you could've just turned the handle and walked through.
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>:( Doesen't it rile you when youve had a good hard slog on the windows and gone collecting and your missis comes in and complains of having a grueler in the "office". Oh it must have been murder sat at that desk all day!
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Hi All,
This happened to me at the Royal Military Academy in Sandhurst. (of all places)
I tried the garden gate, it's locked, i felt for the bolt and felt a locked padlock, i pitched the ladder to gate, stood on top of gate to lift ladder over, the gate opens, sending me to floor level in .001 secs, leg goes though rung of ladder, i landed on top of ladder, bucket on a belt tips all down crouch so i looked like i have wet myself.
( i then got stung in the ear twice by wasps at the next house)
Paul.
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Dosen't it annoy you when you get to the top of your ladder, start to clean and then smell :'( the sweet smell of dog muck. You look down to see it on every rung, also your trousers. I think this is the baptism of a true window cleanner. :)
And the idiot your working with, has cleaned this of with his mop and put it back in the bucket!! Presumably so that you can enjoy the experience as well !!
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You climb up the ladder and are standing on a flat roof, making good progress cleaning when all of a sudden a large gust of wind comes and blows the ladder down. :o The building is closed and you have no cell phone. It is a remote area. :'( This happened to one of my crew last year. Good thing I was back within an hour to put up the ladder again. :-*
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Also so annoying is when you've a full day's work and the kiddie you've employed, who is 17 and a bit, knows it all, has a 'you need me' thing, has a large attack of the Great British Modern Youth Attitude.
Then jobs get behind because of the 'not my job' thing and he gets the sack.
This happened on a Saturday when we were pushed for time anyway. We drove him the 5 miles home (why???) and then that evening his mother phones up and goes nuts at us...............
Texas Girl - nice bike.
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Dosen't it annoy you when you get to the top of your ladder, start to clean and then smell :'( the sweet smell of dog muck. You look down to see it on every rung, also your trousers. I think this is the baptism of a true window cleanner. :)
I had this happen today, had 2 scrub the ladder before going on the roof rack, ughhhhhhhh!
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DOESN'T IT ANNOY YOU WHEN...... a customer says can you do me a favor!! ( I think time is monney) Can you just unblock that down spout, or can you get those nests down. Dust in eyes and hair really starts the day off well. But now I say no problem its a £1 a nest, and watch as they do a quick count, one house I have had 65 on just the front.
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When Roy Harding's customer takes him up on the offer of £1 a nest and expects him to remove a wasps nest! Bzzzzzz! Ow! Bzzzzzzz! Ow!
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Ive been stung by lost of customers in the past, but older uglier and a lot wiser now :)
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Doesn't it annoy you when: You are trying to tell someone about your pole and how far you can extend it, or how big your hose is, and all they can do is smirk at you >:(
And doesn't it irritate you when; You find yourself smirking back 8)
And try telling someone how you hate it in the mornings when your hose is all stiff and you can't do a thing with it ;D I defy you to try and find a way of describing that without falling victim to the most obscene of inuendo ;D
Ian
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Texas girl, I agree with Ross, Nice bike, thats a classic frame, great lines, and good to see your tyres are well pumped up too ;D
Ian
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You get on site, get started on about third window and out they come, can you miss me this time. :'( No problem I dont mind traveling 280 miles to do some windows for nought. Its good practice :) :) :)
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You have been busting your buns all day working on a large job, be it residential or commercial, and you finally get to the last window and it is the worst one to clean; it requires a lot of time, chemicals, and elbow grease. :P
It seems as though it always works out that way. :-\
Also, does't it annoy you when you are cleaning a door and all of a sudden 100 people need to use it. ;D
Also, I am glad you like my bike. That was last summer. I have a new one this year; :-* I will be sure to show you all a picture of my new one this spring. I try to keep it in good shape because I like to show it off. ;D ;)
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Doesn't it annoy you when you find out that in America you can get paid for busting buns - no one would pay me to smash up cakes here in England! ;)
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a few more of these...and we'll have enough for a calendar....lol..
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Doesn't it annoy you when your work mate is bursting his bum all day long.
Monday are the worst as he out on the p during the Sunday and has an Indian on the way home.
Yup - we definately need more pictures on this forum.
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Hey Malc!
We always refer to one's "rear'' as "buns". After all there are 2, right? Your "buns" should always be firm, not mushy. :o
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buns ?...huh...you should try our spotted d i c k ...now there's juicy mouthfull... :o
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Duke;
Now there's a topic that brings a smile! 8) I won't even comment on that! Is there a website high-lighting D I C K? :o If so, I may want to look! 8)
Gee, I guess it is tangent time again!
Check my profile for intersting website. ;)
Cheers
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For the benefit of Texas Girl I think we should point out that Spotted D i c k is actually a real English pudding :P
Personally, some nice, warm, soft baps, filled with sausage goes down a treat in the winter 8) Or a full breakfast roll, now that really warms me up ;D I'm a regular customer of 'Fatties' this time of year ;D
Ian
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:o I thought everyone knew that ! lol.... ;)
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Doesnt it annoy you when: A customer ring to complain about the standard of your work, there are smears all over one of the upstairs windows :'(
The following day you dutifully turn up at her house, in an area you have now finished, and in resigned fashion lug off your ladders, climbing up to the window in question :-\
Don't you just love it when: You are looking at the window and can't see a mark on it, you shrug your shoulders and look at the customer through the glass with an expression that looks like this ???
"There! there!" She points out, "Can't you see it!"
As she reaches out her hand to indicate the offending smear..............And rubs the glass her finger smears the 'smear' ;D
Its amazing how red a face can go, and I'm sure a large pair of jackass ears extended out of the top of her head 8)
They are just so apologetic, so dreadfully sorry, you of course tell them it is not a problem (it was >:() Don't worry about it (no, do! do!) Their satisfaction with your work is very important to you (that bits true ::))
It may be a pain, but watching them shrivel inside with embarrasment, hoping the ground will open up and swallow them makes it worth it ;)
Mind how you go,
Ian
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hmmm, I've had a bit of that too from time to time...I'm afraid I'm not as patient as you...I charge a call out fee if it's really not my fault....(same price as the clean....PLUS diesel money and time.) I don't get many...eejut's....
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Toady we'd re arranged how we did today's jobs and left early to do a first clean.
The lady phoned us last week and we had a look on the way home one night. I phoned her with the price which she was happy with, and a date and rough time was agreed.
We get there bright and early today and she'd changed her mind.
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;).....as an afterthought to the last couple of posts...on those days when you're really racked off with the world at large....try this.. www.grumpieroldmen.co.uk
I find it a great 'let off steam' (I post as Grumplestiltskin)...I recommend it !
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yep, that link works....choose the "forum' option, if you are interested !
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I read the paragraph below posted on another forum. Guess which one and guess who posted the one before? ;D ;D ;D
'Very Happy lol....nothing wrong with 'Window Cleaners" matey...I'm proud to be one. And I didn't have to do 5 years in UNI to be one (though I did anyway...but for some other venture)... Pure Water Science...check it out.'
Great forum www.grumpieroldmen.co.uk
It's great place to post 'doesn't it annoy you' things in general.
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I had a sneaking suspicion it was a wind up....but I'll defend window cleaners to the death !...lol
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On another forum of a wind-up nature, I've been stirring the hornets nest about what an excellent job we have.
One wit, to get back at me posted this, which I thought was brilliant. It made me laugh, though could be quite true in a satirical sense.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v282/grumcun/flyer.jpg
Oh, if you peruse the site, don't take what I say too literally. They've been flogging me to death for being a window cleaner; saying stuff like I have to get out to work early to beat the Eastern Europeans to the traffic lights (suggesting that I clean car windscreens).
It's all a bit of mindless fun really.
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I guess you don't want others to use that example of a flier in case they steal your thunder Tosh, I'm sure I've seen it hanging out of letterboxes around town! ;D
Ian
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yeah....err, nicely presented...should get loads more work in......
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Do you charge for designs?
Please pm me with details, prices & how quick you can do them for me.
I'll probably need around 5000 first off & we'll go from there.
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Doesn't it annoy you when: You try to hunt for your post, to put in a ironic quip, only to find someone has lumped it in under a general tab of 'More funny stories' >:(
Doesn't it annoy you when: You are slaving away at your replies on Cleanitup, listening to your music you have illegally downloaded over the years ;D Only for your wife to moan at you and tell you to plug in your headphones or TURN IT DOWN!!!
Having complied with said directive, the wife then continues to talk to you, knowing full well you can't here a thing with, say, Sandstorm by Darude cranked up to full volume. With head nodding to the beat, and fingers tripping over the keys as I make my postings, a tealight candle catches me in the back of the head, I lift one side of headphone and turn enquiringly to a red faced wife who is screaming at me to TURN IT DOWN!!! :-\
You then have to have the headphones perched idiotically with one ear free as she continues to keep talking, usually to berate me for having it to loud, and why can't I TURN IT DOWN!!! :(
I happen to like the ringing in my ears, at the local rugby club in my home town of Cinderford, as a teenager on a Friday night there was nothing I liked better than to insert my head into the cone of a huge speaker that had the front missing, whilst the late departed Jimi Hendrix belted out his version of Johnny be good 8)
When its quiet now all I can here is a loud humming, like a huge speaker system turned up full volume, but with nothing playing......Oh God! Now I've started talking about it I've made myself aware of it......I wonder what total silence actually sounds like?
Eh?......what was that you said?? TURN IT DOWN!!!.........sigh, ok, anything for an easy life :'(
Ian ;D
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Isn't it annoying when your missus is away and you have to go to bed because you've got work in the morning.
What a good day though. Did bu**er all. Got up at 2pm instead of the usual 9am. Ate rubbish food for breakfast (none of that healthy stuff) and watched TV. Ordered a take away this evening and played silly pc games.
She's back tomorrow so I'd best put the laundry in the wash basket and have a quick tidy up.
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Hi,
I gave a 17yr old a start has a favour to a friend, he lasted 3 days knew it all from day one. We sent him into BnQ s for a box of fallopian tubes made us laugh .
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I went to clean a new customer with my brother- inlaw and this old lady came out, and asked did we want hot water. My brother-inlaw as quick as a flash,says only if it has a tea bag in it. We got to the back of house, the door opens out comes the old girl, with a silver tray best china and chock bars. :) :)
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Yeah, they're great them jobs.....but tell you what....anybody ever get took short...and not a bog in sight ? I know what I do, but how about you lot ?
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Nearly all the lads that have worked for me, would find some where quiet, when they thought a customer was not in. As they were in full flight I would suddenly say Hello I dint think there was anybody home. :) :) All hell would break loose.
Then revenge It was a bitter cold day and I was dessperate by 10.00am. And no where to go at 3.00pm you all know how bad it can get. We came to a house no one home ideal spot. :) :) I had finished the bottom and the boy was just doing the last of on the ladder. So I took the moment, Just now he says hello peter i did not think there was any one home. I turn looked at him and grined and carried on, then he said something else, the customer was standing watching me soak his wall in clouds of steam and could not stop. :) :). Could have died.
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I was desperate to go once. One of those times where you cannot stand still.
I was on this flat roof and I couldn't wait anymore so I peed into the downpipe of the guttering as not only were the owners out but no one from the other houses could see me.
As I climbed down the ladder I realised this downpipe went into a waterbut which the owner said (the following month and yes, I had to ask) he used to water the plants indoors.
:o
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I've got a good one!
I walked up to the gate of a customer and she was sitting on the front lawn.
I called over to her : "Is your Alsation in the house, 'cos I'm sure he wants to sink his teeth into my backside."
She peered at over the top of her sunglasses and replied : "wouldn't we all dear!"
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Isn`t it great being a window cleaner,the different people you meet the funny and not so funny things that happen,a bit better weather and hey who needs to do any other job ;D
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Am I A WINDOW CLEANER OR A FERRET? The times customers give me a cheery wave as I arrive, and then bolt like rabbits when I'm doing the backs, into their cars and away before I knock for my money.
Do Sky installers deliberately put dishes where I can bash them with my ladders to get the £60 call out fee?
Many years ago I had a customer stop a cheque for £3 because I left a streak on her patio door. Then had the cheek 3 years later to ask if I could clean her windows again. I still have the cheque, she is still looking for a cleaner.
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I was desperate to go once, dont like to ask for the toilet so you know what its like you just hold it in and hope the next customer is out. I get to the next job to find no-one at home, so I run down to the shed at the bottom of their very large garden where no neighbours can see me. I relieve myself with much sighing to find the customers in the shed. :-[
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This one is nothing to do with window cleaning, but is quite true, so please indulge me....
Back in the 60's, when I was an apprentice electrician, one of my older colleagues, did a job in a lady's house which involved lifting upstairs floorboards.
The lady had a horrible Pekinese dog, just like "Tricky Woo" in the James Herriot stories, and the bl**dy thing kept trying to get down the hole where Bob was trying to thread a cable though.
In desperation, he slapped the dog on the snout and it promptly dropped down, dead!
Grabbing the poor animal, he laid it on the lady's bed, where it normally used to rest, and sure enough, the lady eventually brought Bob a cuppa and found the dog in the adjacent room.
Deep sorrow, (from the lady), with sackcloth and ashes all round, and Bob sympathising with the customer, and saying, "There, there, poor old *** died lying in his favourite place" Blah, blah!