Clean It Up
UK Floor Cleaning Forum => Carpet Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: daysdeepclean on April 02, 2009, 06:25:44 pm
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I know a lot of you would rather not say too much, but have you ever been cornered by a lusty custy?
I was doing a job for a lady who is locally known as the "Marsh Monster", not sure why (Yeah, right!) Anyway, I was pre spraying her bedroom carpet when she said "Oh, I wish you were my other half... you're lovely you are!"
I quickly said "Oh, my machine's making a funny noise" and darted out of the room. Thing is, the machine wasn't even switched on!
The last time I was there I took my jacket off and she said... "Oh, is rest coming off.....?" My machine started making that funnyy noise again strangely enough!
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Was she blind?
Just going by your pic.
Mark
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Say what's on your mind Mark!
Shaun
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Was she blind?
Just going by your pic.
Mark
You must be a right boot Mark with not having a picture and all that ;D
I've never really been able to tell if a bloke's good looking or not, that's a woman's job ::) :P :-*
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Some women like the Blues Brothers look Colin :D
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Perhaps she wanted you to see her rug Dr.
Shaun
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I tried to take a pic of myself and the camera broke.
Mark
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Shaun ;D
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Tidy lassie in the shower, wide door open :-\
I was 100% professional.
I have another one, but thats one for the pub. 8)
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i am in trouble cause am so hot
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erm well you must of been slightly flattered or you would of been far to ashamed to post it old boy .
Com on be honest did you line her with ur niner ??
you old dog
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:)
I have had a lassy in only a thong tell me what she does to guys she brings back from the pub and one lady say how lonely she gets at night while surveying a bedroom.
8)
Graeme
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Once cleaned a bedroom carpet and the lady whose bedroom it was, was lying back on the bed completely naked whilst I cleaned the carpet around the bed
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Some women like the Blues Brothers look Colin :D
Is that picture of you a photo fit from Crimewatch ??? ;D ;D ;D
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Well that silenced you lot!
What I said was the actual truth, but I didn't give you the full truth.
The house was one for people with special needs which I attend on a regular basis and this was a lady of indeterminate age, but definitely not young. She had this thing of not wearing clothes and in the meantime throwing food around in her room. If she had a strop on she wouldn't come out of her room.
So with one of the carers trying desperately to keep a blanket around her shoulders I got on with the cleaning.
Got to say it was one of the most fascinating carpets I have ever cleaned.........I couldn't take my eyes off it :o
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;D
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Once opened the door to a toilet and an old woman was sat on there quickly shut the door, also was cleaning a massive walk in wardrobe and was told to clean the centre of carpet as there were shoes and hand bags on the floor at either side of the centre, as I was cleaning with my wand I knocked the biggest vibrator I have ever seen out into the middle of the floor it made John Holmes look like a little boy!!I just kicked it back where it came from.
Shaun
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Shaun
Trust the walk in wardrobe didn't belong to the old lady on the toilet :o 8) :o
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No but nothing you'd want to touch if you were that way inclined.
Shaun
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Shaun ;D
I did find a stash of poro mags and readers wifes under the suite i was cleaning ::)
Just like you shaun put them straight back :)
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Once cleaned a suite with fixed back cushions and at the top of the arm chair there was a big carving knife and a big roll of money, I did pass them to the owner just to say that I have cleaned it all.
Shaun
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I've not come across anything like a "Ladies Friend" before... Some sexy lingerie once when I was cleaning a Friend of the family's bedroom, he hasn't even got a girlfriend ??? ::) ;D
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;D
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I had an upholstery job a little while back and the lady said " sit down and have a cup of tea before you start ".
So I sat down in the kitchen and she sat in the chair next to mine.
After the usual chat about weather etc. she got all tearful and started telling me about how her husband who was a lot older than her had died a couple of months previous and how she missed him.
I made all the right sympathetic noises and then she started telling me about their sex life and how she missed it and that because he had been ill she had not had sex for months.
She moved her chair closer to mine and actually put her hand on my knee :o
I started to panic a bit and said that I really must start cleaning as I did not want to be late for my next job.
As I was cleaning the sofa she said " that looks like hot work , I don`t mind if you take your shirt off "
Cue another panic.
We men are all talk.
When we are down the pub we give it large about how we would shag anything with a pulse if it was offered but when you are actually in that situation it is quite scary.
We are also very vunerable because if she cried rape it would be her word against yours and she also has your address for the bunny boiling thing.
God I must be getting old. ;D
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She sounds scary :o
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I once opened a cupboard in a customers bedroom and there was a scull in there. That made me feel a little uncomfortable LOL
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I'm assuming it wasn't a real skull???
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???
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I am not 100% sure but I really think it was. I took some pics of it on my phone (I have since replaced) if I find the phone I will post the Pics. Got to say it made me a bit uneasy lol. It may have been all thats left of the old carpet cleaner lol
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;D
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We are also very vunerable because if she cried rape it would be her word against yours and she also has your address for the bunny boiling thing.
God I must be getting old. ;D
Not getting old, just getting wise to the world.
When you're younger you'd read the situation as 'The world of porn visits me.' When you're older all you can see coming out of the situation is a court case or a mad crazed bunny boiler who will make the rest of your life a misery.
I've had the alcoholic lady out cold on the bed whilst I carried on around her, the porn under the sette and the partly dressed horror machine in one of the rooms for those with some mental problems. one or two have been a bit more friendlier than I would like my customers, but thankfully I've been spared the situation which is only going to end up in a break down of customer relations.
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I am not 100% sure but I really think it was. I took some pics of it on my phone (I have since replaced) if I find the phone I will post the Pics. Got to say it made me a bit uneasy lol. It may have been all thats left of the old carpet cleaner lol
I think if I was in that situation, the "Splash & Dash" tecnique would have to used but without the "Splash" ;D ;D ;D
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;D
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I once opened a cupboard in a customers bedroom and there was a scull in there. That made me feel a little uncomfortable LOL
under these circumstances you have to use your head ;D
so its a no brainer really ;D
derek
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Make no bones about it, that customer had some skeletons in their closet!
TAXI!!
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maybe the cleaner before was very forgetful and his head was loose. you know the old saying.
derek
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Think i new the cleaner in the post he was very headstrong ::)
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a carpet cleaning friend of mine has a regular customer who according to him looks like anyones favourite nanny, all pinny and cake making, on about his 4th visit she asked him to include the bedroom carpet which he had never done before and on opening the wardrobe door so that he could clean the inch of carpet below it saw pinned onto the back of the door pictures of said nanny with husband doing very intimate things, he said he couldn't get the door shut quick enough and he could never look at her in the same light again!
colin :o :o
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:P
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OH THATS SICK MAN! ;D
Imagine the family album, "That’s me and Dorothy having a cup of tea at Hornsey" "That’s me and the grand kids opening presents at Christmas" "And this is the coach trip to Guernsey" "Oh, and that’s me jolting our Sidney in the bath"!!
Matt
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Had v. posh custy who answered my knock on the front with a terse "tradesmen go round the back!" through the window!
Proceeded to back door, got frosty reception, but started cleaning upholstery as booked. She had only just left the room when i pulled the biggest purple vib*at*or you can imagine from back of sofa.
I was sorely tempted to stand it on her mantlepiece, but chickened out and stuffed it back where it came from.
Took cheque off her with a knowing smile though!
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;D
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Nice customer I worked for could be a pain in the @rse now and again but I kept going round as I got used to the agro.
Anyway went round there to do house as usual, did downstairs and before I went upstairs as a courtesy I said going up to do the bedrooms, carried on, vacced master bedroom carpet moved the bed across to get at the rest to find a vibe, gel and a strap on under the bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a quick look but put it back under, went to the van to get some spotter etc, saw her go upstairs in a hurry. Went back upstairs and carried on cleaning carpet, moved bed back to find that the 'gear' had gone!!!!!!!!!!!
So she had realised that I had seen 'it' because the bed had moved and it wasnt where it should be.
So when I went to finish my tea and be paid, she knew that I knew that she knew I knew what she and her husband got up to, gel and all.
And yes I go back now and again but no toys to be found, but I havent looked in the wardrobe yet. Hee Hee.
Murky
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Its always the more prim and proper type ;D
Was going to print the words but wont lol ;D
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Did a job today american forces custy,she turned up in a huge Dodge pickup truck,wearing sexy secatery outfit ;D.
I start work while she changed into a little top and jeans ( she was v v nice very fit and pretty,sort of carmen electra lokky likey ) she was cleaning the kitchen,everytime i went in there to fill the buckets up she was bending over scrubbing,had to avert my eyes as her thong was halfway up her back !
My wife used to work for her,so i was on my best behaviour !
And didn`t want her catching me leching at her
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8) 8)
Nothing wrong with a letch ;D
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Had v. posh custy who answered my knock on the front with a terse "tradesmen go round the back!" through the window!
Proceeded to back door, got frosty reception, but started cleaning upholstery as booked. She had only just left the room when i pulled the biggest purple vib*at*or you can imagine from back of sofa.
I was sorely tempted to stand it on her mantlepiece, but chickened out and stuffed it back where it came from.
Took cheque off her with a knowing smile though!
I'm suprised you found it too, cos by the way she spoke to you, you would think she had it stuck up her jacksy
I'd have got back in the van and drove off.