Clean It Up
UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: captain lard on August 22, 2006, 10:52:21 pm
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...ever since I have started doing this my mates are all nudge nudge wink wink,bet you see some sights etc but I havent had anything to get excited about in terms of sightings of lovely ladies or anything at all of a saucy nature,a lot of my customers are elderly ladies who luckily for me seem to love me for keeping there windows and frames in good clean nick.
Has anyone any lurid stories or anything titilating?If I am out of order asking this please just ignore it and accept my apologies for asking.
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hahaha! no u can allways hope but u never see nothing like that ;) just the same sex ::) no seriously u dont really see stuff like that well i havent anyway, just a man on a toilet! which i quicly walked away and left that window to last lmao.
Dave
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Oh dear,lol,thats awful but I was wondering today if its a myth. I havent seen anything though and thought its probably not at all true.
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I wish.
This year two men naked, not good. No females to date. :'(
Last year 1 ???. She is about 20, looks fantastic with her cloths on. She knew i was on my way cause i had done next door & must of seen & herd the ladders. Did the front then the sides so she knew by now i was there, went round the back & there she was sun bathing with only skimpy thong on :o :o :o. WOWWWWW.
I appologized & said i would come back ::) ( picking my tounge up & putting my eyes back in) but was told to carry on. I dont need telling twice. ;D
I felt bad being paid, was happy to clean the windows for free.
Macc
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Wow,thats a bit better,I found a fat bloke sunbathing in July which upset me to be honest,did she pay you in her thong?
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I was in one of my customers bedrooms doing the insides the other day when she proceded to get changed in front of me.
Right down to underwear too.
Kind of hard to keep looking at her face as I was talking to her..... :-\
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Hells bells,do you think there might have been an ulterior motive or was she just totally unashamed!!
I would have been the same mind,loked anywhere but where I wanted.
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Just totally unashamed I think!
Husband was downstairs though.
Could have looked bad either way.... :o
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Sorry Jack if i offended you, i removed it. It was only ment as a joke
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Macc
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there she was sun bathing with only skimpy thong on :o :o :o. WOWWWWW.
Macc
lol Macc this is why I called myself Reflections the things you see behind you when you cleaning the windows. ;D ;D
Two weeks ago an OAP, bloomers on and the biggest pair of thingys I have ever seen down to her knee's ugrrrrr
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macc I dont think you were out of line there mate just having a giggle,pirate jack I think you were a bit prissy there mate but each to there own.
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caught a guy breaking into a car, thats about it, I'm a local hero now ;D
thing is I thought it was his car, was going to give him a hand then he ran off!! ooppss!
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I think you need to go and do a bit of pirating and stuff maybe,maybe a bit more rum?
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Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!!!
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This is descending into one line replies.
It is just about ok I think to respond to the original question with a few anecdotes of the sights you have seen over the years, but if you simply respond with smiley faces or one line banter then the thread will be moderated in some fashion.
Ian
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Well it was fine till the pirate sailed in and hi-jacked it and he didnt even have a story to contribute but fair enough Ian.
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Have you just deleted your posts on this thread pirate jack? You offered no advice and werent insulted,if anything you got a bit naughty but never mind eh.
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I am having a watching brief on this one!
I hope that genuine window cleaning anecdotes will be acceptable, any genuine complaints however will leave me no option but to lock it.
I don't want to though, as not all of us visit the 'any other business section' regularly and there is no reason that we can't have a lighthearted topic now and then.
After all, it does concern the things we see and experience on our rounds.
so far I've read nothing I would consider remotely pornographic, I'd have deleted any reply instantly had I done so.
Porn isn't welcome anywhere on the forum either by the way, including the 'Any Other Business' section :-X
Now for myself I've experienced quite a few things, one embarrassing one was while I was cleaning a bathroom window, crouched down on an old sloping roof.
While I was focused on the job in hand, the customers hand appeared at the window (male customer) and grabbed the toilet roll that was placed there...
Oops :-[
My eyes re-focused to take in the inside of the bathroom, only to see the customer sat on the loo right in front of me doing a job of his own :-[ :-[ :-[
He hadn't gone in there while I was cleaning the window, I'd just happened to start cleaning it whilst his 'job' was in progress :o
Watching him wipe his bum was not intentional I promise you :-\
No way could I collect the money for that account, I sent one of the lads working for me at the time to collect it!
Being typically British, not a thing was mentioned about the incident...it never happened ::)
Ian
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I merely suggested that this kind of topic, in my humble opinion, would be better suited to the "Chat" section.
I have seen moderators lock and delete threads like this before for that reason.
But even moderators can be inconsistent! Because it has "window cleaner" in the topic it passes! Or perhaps the mod would like to read some confessions.
This section is usually strictly for exchanging advice and ideas and helping the trade.
Sorry for interfering.
Jack - you took umbrage at a comment made by macc which I thought was a bit OTT and said so,you have removed your posts from last night(never a good sign and does not show you in a good light despite your comments now trying to seem what you werent last night) and I cant recall you saying this should be in Chat,if it should be then fair enough it will be up to the mods but I think your appearance on the thread has only caused bother when there was nothing to get upset about.
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i went dropping flyers through letterboxes in a place near my old village. the flyers had my phone number on for obvious reasons :) i dropped quite a few flyers through and decided that was enough for the day and got in my car to drive to a different area to do some window cleaning. 10 minutes down the road and i got a text message from an unknown mobile No :S
I cant tell you exactly what the message said because ian giles will defo remove it lol
but it basically said she'd been watching me and thought i looked tasty(strange girl;) )
she said i could clean her insides any time!! pervy lol
then went on to say what she would like to do to me and what she would like me to do to her etc. we went on to have the old text sex thing quite a bit.....then i found out she was involved with someone the whole time, and had 3 kids!!
she moved to the village where i lived tho,with her man and kids!! this made it slighty awkward for me lol.
she was a nice looking girl tho.blonde and boobs etc etc
other than that thats the only pervy type of thing thats happened whilst w/cing...ooh hang on..apart from seing a naked man who waved to me through the window :o :o on his way to the bathroom
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Its Captain to you jack,I have read your post and gone back over the thread .I am not sure about what you now claim but to be fair who cares,you didnt contribute a story and I am not sure why you came in if its something that upsets you.
If the mods decide to pull this well then thats that but it was initially put up by myself as a bit of fun and didnt want or expect anything heavy and so far it has been taken that way by those whi have contributed.
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I once climbed over a fence, using my ladders and ducked under the 'vegitation overgrown arch' only to see a customer's son through the patio windows, 'really enjoying his own company'; and I mean 'really enjoying his own company'.
He was a 'big lad' too, if you know what I mean.
He just looked at me and dashed out of the room. I didn't knock to collect either!
Wor Lass complained that she always misses the good stuff!!!!
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About the only things that i've ever witnessed was not when cleaning the windows but when i was out leafletting.
I was pushing a leaflet through the door when all the light vanished from the inside of the glass door. There must have been a downstairs shower room or something. Because this huge naked silhouette of a lady appeared in front of me, squeeled and did a runner upstairs. lmao
The only other time is when i was cleaning this girls parents house. She must be about 25ish. She was well aware that i was cleaning the windows because i must take around 40 mins on this place and she saw me up the ladder from one of the bedroom windows.
Anyway, when i'd finshed and it was time to knock the door. She appears wrapped in a bath towel dripping wet from head to toe. Whether it was intentionally timed on her part i don't know. Can only wish i suppose. ;)
Lance
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About 2 months ago, i got a recommendation from a conservatory clean, so booked it in for a saturday.
The clean took bout 2 1/2 hours and all that time she was doing stuff in the garden, and making general banter , including probing questions!!!
When i finished, bout 4 hrs later i got a txt, wat are you doing and would you like to come for tea?
I did, and stayed for breakfast too!! ;)
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macc I dont think you were out of line there mate just having a giggle,pirate jack I think you were a bit prissy there mate but each to there own.
Thanks mate for your support, i just thought my post would make a few laugh, .
Macc
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lol Macc this is why I called myself Reflections the things you see behind you when you cleaning the windows. ;D ;D
Two weeks ago an OAP, bloomers on and the biggest pair of thingys I have ever seen down to her knee's ugrrrrr
Hi Jeff.
Nice, mind you thats a good one to tell your mates.
Macc
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Hi Jeff.
Nice, mind you thats a good one to tell your mates.
Macc
he he, yer right only when I have had to many to drink ;D
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About 13 years ago i was cleaning on a lovely summers morning,it was about 8 .30 just started.
I was working on a row of terraced houses, you know the ones where the bottom the windows are near to the floor.
Well i put my ladder up to the window making enough noise to let anyone up there i was on my way, as the curtains were open.
Just as i reach the top im,e greeted with the sight of a 50 year old plus female with a hand on each curtain, trying to shut them, who must of been at least 17st, and she has not got a stitch on.
She must have been in bed when i put my ladder up, and thought she could shut the curtains before i got to the top of the ladder, why she just didnt get under the covers until i finished the window i dont know.
Very :-[ :-[ when i went to collect the money, and it put me off my butties
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I was unfortunate enough to catch 2 blokes at it, wont go into detail as I already put details on a previous thread, but have never cleaned a pane of glass so fast in my life!!!!
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i had a friend who used to be window cleaner and i dont know if he is lying but he said he was getting it all the time. but I haven't seen anything other than an old woman who answered the door in her bra because at the time we were having some really hot weather.
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I was unfortunate enough to catch 2 blokes at it, wont go into detail as I already put details on a previous thread, but have never cleaned a pane of glass so fast in my life!!!!
What? Scrabble?
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Hi all,
To date i have seen an oap laying on his bed starkers stroking a cat
Woman running along the landing with just a towel on her head
In young woman's kitchen she sat telling me about her vibrator collection
2 ladies topless in back gardens ( separate occasions )
Once on a quote for an houseclean for a amercian lady she answered the door in her dressing gown showed me round the house when she got to her bedroom she took the dressing gown off and got into bed.
Cheers Mark.
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What? Scrabble?
No Squeaky, fudge packing!!!!!
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Well this response is basically confirmins me thioght that we lead a more mundane existence than folk think we do
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I was joking.... ::)
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she went to bed because she felt tired?
heehee
Hi all,
[snip]
Once on a quote for an houseclean for a amercian lady she answered the door in her dressing gown showed me round the house when she got to her bedroom she took the dressing gown off and got into bed.
Cheers Mark.
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I used to clean for an elderly ( excentric ) lady who used to open the door naked to pay me ! she also used to walk around her estate naked ! thats it , nothing better to report over ten years !!
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I guess we WFP guys don't get to see as much as the trads. I have seen curtains hurriedly drawn when I put my pole to the window. Did she think I had a camera on the brush?
Just last week I was doing this house and I heard extatic moans coming from an open bedroom window 2 doors down. The volume increased until I'm sure the whole street must have heard the extent of this ladies pleasure. The absence of any visual evidence seemed to add to the erotisism of the moment.
I will never know if she was alone or not, if not, I admire her partners prowess.
I have in the past dated customers, the last one I don't even go to the area anymore. I knew this lady was partial to a drink or two. The extent of her problem I was made aware of the following morning. when we got up she put the kettle on, I thought to make a brew. When the kettle boiled she filled a glass with 4 fingers of scotch and topped it up with boiling water. I made my excuses and left.
I hasten to add this was three years ago when I was still single. I know it's so easy to tap off with customers. Don't go there. Dai