Clean It Up
UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: jay moley on August 11, 2024, 10:49:39 am
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I haven't posted in ages but some of my previous posts were about how much I hated the job and how I was depressed around it.
Well three months ago I did some CBT counselling specifically aimed at these feelings.
Without exaggerating it's been life changing. I no longer hate the job and while I don't love it, it is completely manageable. I rarely get stressed at work and even irritations like the hose getting caught no longer bother me.
The focus of the counselling was aligning my values with the job. These were: being a provider for my family, being a hard worker and making my girlfriend and Dad proud.
She also taught me to have something to look forward to each day, even something small. For me it was things like playing darts, going to swim and sauna and watching a football match on TV etc.
If you are struggling I'd really consider it. You can find a counsellor/therapist online:
https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists (Other websites out there if you google).
Other things I've found helpful are meditating (I use the headspace app, just 10 mins a day) and journaling even if it's just a few sentences, doesn't have to be long. Most phones have a free app for it or you can just use notes if you have an iPhone.
Hopefully this may be useful.
Not sure the CBT is going to help with 30c temperatures tomorrow tho!
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Good for you mate :)
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To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.
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That's the reason I like to do add-ons. A bit of verity in any job makes it more interesting. I know if I put all my effort into window cleaning then I would be pretty rich because I have all the gear. Yesterday I sanded a PW job that I was cleaning for 6hrs a week ago. It was a great earner and then I got asked to lower a slab that was a trip hazard. Only took 10 minutes but made her day knowing she wouldn't be tripping over it no more. Good to see you are back on the right path again.
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To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.
Dazmond, is that you?
(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)
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Good to see you’ve found a solution- well done
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To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.
Dazmond, is that you?
(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)
Sounds depressing with no holidays!👍😂....off to Lanzarote for 10 days at the end of the month!👍😄
Only work 4 days a week now too....😎
CBT has helped loads of people...its not the job that causes depression.people with mental health issues will still have them no matter what job they do...its about finding a solution that works for you...
Well done to the OP for finding his solution 👏 👍
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To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.
Dazmond, is that you?
(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)
Sounds depressing with no holidays!👍😂....off to Lanzarote for 10 days at the end of the month!👍😄
Only work 4 days a week now too....😎
CBT has helped loads of people...its not the job that causes depression.people with mental health issues will still have them no matter what job they do...its about finding a solution that works for you...
Well done to the OP for finding his solution 👏 👍
You given the keys back for the council flat yet Daz?
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To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.
Dazmond, is that you?
(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)
Sounds depressing with no holidays!👍😂....off to Lanzarote for 10 days at the end of the month!👍😄
Only work 4 days a week now too....😎
CBT has helped loads of people...its not the job that causes depression.people with mental health issues will still have them no matter what job they do...its about finding a solution that works for you...
Well done to the OP for finding his solution 👏 👍
You given the keys back for the council flat yet Daz?
No....everything's being held up.....I feel sorry for my stepdaughter as she's a teacher so shes off for the summer holidays until the start of September and it looks like the end of the month when she gets the keys to her first house!her partners dad has took a week off work too for nothing!
It's very frustrating when your in a chain...
I'm happy to stay in my flat until after my holiday now.probably looking at October now before I move in fully with my missus
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My solution for keeping in good health is simple really...
Diet
Exercise
Sleep
Hobbies
Family time
Occasionally helping alcoholics/addicts
Obviously no alcohol,cigarettes or street drugs...
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Are you doing meetings again Daz?
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Are you doing meetings again Daz?
Think he had another relapse last year and almost got arrested. Had the AA symbol tattoo on his pint/gin & tonic hand and is going to meetings again. I bet he's a massive inspiration to those at the meetings. Business man, own van, three holidays a year, only works 3 days a week/short hours ;D
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I'm pretty lucky because I'm allergic to alcohol, only wish it was also gambling. I trade currency and after decades I'm actually getting good at it. It all comes down to greed. I only trade a maximum of a pound a point so don't lose or win much but I enjoy it. That's the reason window cleaning fits in really well.
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Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.
Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try
did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience
as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....
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Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.
Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try
did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience
as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....
Private. Was £80 a session for 12 sessions but the best money I've ever spent. Go for it.
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Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.
Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try
did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience
as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....
Why not just look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself to stop pretending that there is something wrong with you
I don't believe in depression and somehow I am immune
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Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.
Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try
did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience
as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....
Get a puppy....its impossible to be depressed when you look after a dog/animal.it takes the focus off YOU...
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Emptiness in your soul is because your not doing anything worthwhile for other people/animals,etc....
It's amazing how most problems are really just self centred BS....as soon as you help others your cup starts to fill up and the emptiness just evaporates and is replaced with love and gratitude
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I really believe most of the modern day depression is just a spiritual malady....
Whether you like it or not we are spiritual beings,if your not a member of a religion or meditate regularly and have no structure in your life it's easy to think that the clamour for material possessions and wealth alone will makes us happy,or a line of cocaine,a shedload of alcohol,a cheap w*h*o*r*e and a flutter on the horses....
Of course it never does fully because the real happiness is deep down within all of us.its just obscured by clouds sometimes ⛅️
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Easy to take the pee and preach if you don’t actually suffer from depression.
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Easy to take the pee and preach if you don’t actually suffer from depression.
Of course I've suffered from depression many times in my teens and twenties and come close to topping myself a few times....it goes hand in hand with alcoholism and drug addiction....
Thankfully I don't suffer from it these days
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My understanding is depression is a chemical reaction in your brain. Not about getting a dog or helping others etc.
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My understanding is depression is a chemical reaction in your brain. Not about getting a dog or helping others etc.
Nevertheless.
https://www.nami.org/complimentary-health-approaches/how-dogs-can-help-with-depression/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness/kindness-matters-guide#:~:text=Evidence%20shows%20that%20helping%20others,%2C%20self%2Desteem%20and%20happiness.
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Learning something new is good for our health. If I couldn't get out and work then it would affect me. Everyone needs a purpose in life, even if its just looking after a dog. I always wondered why my father worked when he was a millionaire. He owned a hotel and would always be their and sometimes would go and wash the dishes. I thought why not sell the place and retire. Now I'm 58 I realise his purpose was his hotel and that gave him that lifestyle.
You see it with MP's and wee Rishi, why does he need to work when his wife is a billionaire? He needs a purpose a reason for living in the end we all want to feel we are needed in some way.😉
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"You see it with MP's and wee Rishi, why does he need to work when his wife is a billionaire? He needs a purpose a reason for living"
Indeed, and wee Rishi's purpose for living was to ensure the most inept, incompetent government that's ever served in living memory, didn't get back in power. Mission accomplished. (bet he wished he'd chosen to do a bit of washing up instead of becoming the scapegoat for the damage his two predecessors caused).
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My understanding is depression is a chemical reaction in your brain. Not about getting a dog or helping others etc.
Meditating in silence with a group of people can be very restorative and uplifting too....
When the soul is nurtured it brings with it a peace,calm and translucent spiritual power which dissolves all your fear and depression for a while.....
It's available to all humans.... you just have to tap into it which is not easy in the modern western world we live in today with constant technological distractions...
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oh please. We all got sh't going on. Life's hard. It knocks you down. You gotta keep getting up, dust yourself down & get on with it.
Old school yeh, but it works for me.
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There are different types of depression and likewise different approaches to tackling them. Some comments display a complete lack of appreciation for how serious and debilitating depression can be.
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Phone or text customers the night before helps you commit to turning up for work the following day. Sitting at home twiddling your thumbs because the weather forecast was iffy is an easy way to get depressed.
If the weather forecast prevent s you working the following day then make a list of jobs around the house to do or get out and visit places or people.
The black dog is a horrible place to go so don't let it take hold of your mind, stay positive and busy and make plans which you should keep to.
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I haven't posted in ages but some of my previous posts were about how much I hated the job and how I was depressed around it.
Well three months ago I did some CBT counselling specifically aimed at these feelings.
Without exaggerating it's been life changing. I no longer hate the job and while I don't love it, it is completely manageable. I rarely get stressed at work and even irritations like the hose getting caught no longer bother me.
The focus of the counselling was aligning my values with the job. These were: being a provider for my family, being a hard worker and making my girlfriend and Dad proud.
She also taught me to have something to look forward to each day, even something small. For me it was things like playing darts, going to swim and sauna and watching a football match on TV etc.
If you are struggling I'd really consider it. You can find a counsellor/therapist online:
https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists (Other websites out there if you google).
Other things I've found helpful are meditating (I use the headspace app, just 10 mins a day) and journaling even if it's just a few sentences, doesn't have to be long. Most phones have a free app for it or you can just use notes if you have an iPhone.
Hopefully this may be useful.
Not sure the CBT is going to help with 30c temperatures tomorrow tho!
Well done Jay for airing this subject and your journey. Best wishes to you going forward
Cheers
Ian
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There are different types of depression and likewise different approaches to tackling them. Some comments display a complete lack of appreciation for how serious and debilitating depression can be.
Nailed it.