Clean It Up
UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: Mick Kent on October 30, 2018, 03:04:13 pm
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Gonna be smashing my way building 2 new rounds up in SE London and be back in the game again.
Been on a downer the last year and lost interest in it all, work has more than suffered! Lost so much due to lack of motivation and depression which i have never had before...now I'm feeling better than ever and am gonna be back in the zone.
Not a look at me thread! Just a picking myself up type of post.
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Nice one Mick. Good to see you back.
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Good on you depression is a terrible thing my daughter suffers from it so I know how hard it can be hope all works out well for you just don’t over do it
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All the best mick.
This time of year is a hard one for many, but glad your feeling positive.
Have a good time building things back up. 👍
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Is this window cleaning or milk rounds?
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Good luck Mick, all the best to you.
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Good on you Mick, I've suffered bad with depression over the years and sold my business a few years ago when it was really bad, but we always bounce back and need to keep going 💪👍
Rob
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Nice to see you back mate
Darran
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Gonna be smashing my way building 2 new rounds up in SE London and be back in the game again.
Been on a downer the last year and lost interest in it all, work has more than suffered! Lost so much due to lack of motivation and depression which i have never had before...now I'm feeling better than ever and am gonna be back in the zone.
Not a look at me thread! Just a picking myself up type of post.
i dont know how you can be arsed canvassing after all these years in the game mick...whats happened to all your £10 fronts where you(allegedly) was on £80-£100 an hour?the caravan park jobs you used to go on about that was making you a killing?the early morning lucrative commercial jobs? ::)roll
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All the best Mick, can also relate as my wife suffers badly from severe depression and sadly my 17 Yr old daughter living with her mum is on suicide watch, for last couple of weeks.
Glad your coming through it strong and refocused. Hope it goes well for ya
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Gonna be smashing my way building 2 new rounds up in SE London and be back in the game again.
Been on a downer the last year and lost interest in it all, work has more than suffered! Lost so much due to lack of motivation and depression which i have never had before...now I'm feeling better than ever and am gonna be back in the zone.
Not a look at me thread! Just a picking myself up type of post.
i dont know how you can be arsed canvassing after all these years in the game mick...whats happened to all your £10 fronts where you(allegedly) was on £80-£100 an hour?the caravan park jobs you used to go on about that was making you a killing?the early morning lucrative commercial jobs? ::)roll
Exactly what a depressed soul needs to hear when bouncing back. Well done daz
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That’s Daz - full or understanding 😂
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Gonna be smashing my way building 2 new rounds up in SE London and be back in the game again.
Been on a downer the last year and lost interest in it all, work has more than suffered! Lost so much due to lack of motivation and depression which i have never had before...now I'm feeling better than ever and am gonna be back in the zone.
Not a look at me thread! Just a picking myself up type of post.
i dont know how you can be arsed canvassing after all these years in the game mick...whats happened to all your £10 fronts where you(allegedly) was on £80-£100 an hour?the caravan park jobs you used to go on about that was making you a killing?the early morning lucrative commercial jobs? ::)roll
Exactly what a depressed soul needs to hear when bouncing back. Well done daz
The kicks are easier to take when your on your feet!
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Gonna be smashing my way building 2 new rounds up in SE London and be back in the game again.
Been on a downer the last year and lost interest in it all, work has more than suffered! Lost so much due to lack of motivation and depression which i have never had before...now I'm feeling better than ever and am gonna be back in the zone.
Not a look at me thread! Just a picking myself up type of post.
i dont know how you can be arsed canvassing after all these years in the game mick...whats happened to all your £10 fronts where you(allegedly) was on £80-£100 an hour?the caravan park jobs you used to go on about that was making you a killing?the early morning lucrative commercial jobs? ::)roll
Exactly what a depressed soul needs to hear when bouncing back. Well done daz
micks not depressed now though is he? ;D
all my bandmates are on antidepressants......i dont understand it myself ::)roll.thing is a lot of these drugs affect their libido which IS a reason to be depressed! ;D
i reckon id be depressed if i couldnt get it up and started to lose work because i couldnt be arsed to get out of bed in the morning......
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Glad to see you're back and raring to go Mick.
If I have read between the lines correctly, could your depression be linked to you pushing yourself too hard, to the extent that you burned yourself out mentally and physically?
If so, all I can suggest is take it a little easier, enjoy building your new runs up but do try to balance that with a healthy amount of time off.
All the very best Mick and look forward to reading how you are progressing.
John
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Thats awesome news Mick. Last time I saw you, you were saying how busy you were with little time off. Why don't you build up the rounds to give you good money and a little bit more time off to relax and do what you really enjoy doing. Depression is a hard thing to deal with but sometimes its natures way of saying calm down!It is just your mind writing cheques your body cannot pay.
Best of luck and hope to hear all about your success.
Cheers
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Gonna be smashing my way building 2 new rounds up in SE London and be back in the game again.
Been on a downer the last year and lost interest in it all, work has more than suffered! Lost so much due to lack of motivation and depression which i have never had before...now I'm feeling better than ever and am gonna be back in the zone.
Not a look at me thread! Just a picking myself up type of post.
i dont know how you can be arsed canvassing after all these years in the game mick...whats happened to all your £10 fronts where you(allegedly) was on £80-£100 an hour?the caravan park jobs you used to go on about that was making you a killing?the early morning lucrative commercial jobs? ::)roll
Exactly what a depressed soul needs to hear when bouncing back. Well done daz
micks not depressed now though is he? ;D
all my bandmates are on antidepressants......i dont understand it myself ::)roll.thing is a lot of these drugs affect their libido which IS a reason to be depressed! ;D
i reckon id be depressed if i couldnt get it up and started to lose work because i couldnt be arsed to get out of bed in the morning......
I'm a bit surprised at your lack of empathy Daz.
Depression is an awful illness. Sufferers could be on a high one day, and feel like suicide the next. It never goes away but is always there ready to hit, and when it does it hits very hard.
I lost a very dear friend (a fellow window cleaner) a few years ago to suicide because he couldn't fight his battle with depression any longer.
He had a loving family, he was a lovely, lovely fellow who would do anything to help others, but he suffered so much before he decided to end it all and no-one could help him despite all their (and my) best efforts.
So please Daz, before you minimize or mock anyone because you don't understand how they are feeling, then please get educated that not everyone has their head in the clouds like you all the time, and the reason could be that they are seriously ill.
John
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Gonna be smashing my way building 2 new rounds up in SE London and be back in the game again.
Been on a downer the last year and lost interest in it all, work has more than suffered! Lost so much due to lack of motivation and depression which i have never had before...now I'm feeling better than ever and am gonna be back in the zone.
Not a look at me thread! Just a picking myself up type of post.
i dont know how you can be arsed canvassing after all these years in the game mick...whats happened to all your £10 fronts where you(allegedly) was on £80-£100 an hour?the caravan park jobs you used to go on about that was making you a killing?the early morning lucrative commercial jobs? ::)roll
Exactly what a depressed soul needs to hear when bouncing back. Well done daz
micks not depressed now though is he? ;D
all my bandmates are on antidepressants......i dont understand it myself ::)roll.thing is a lot of these drugs affect their libido which IS a reason to be depressed! ;D
i reckon id be depressed if i couldnt get it up and started to lose work because i couldnt be arsed to get out of bed in the morning......
Daz, you’re a nice guy im sure; but these are the words of an utter arse.
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i wish you all the best mick...just dont burn the candle at both ends.....5 or 6 hours a day 4 or 5 days a week is enough window cleaning for one person IMO.....work smart and steady.....
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I dont blame daz for his lack of empathy because i think a lot of people who havent ever suffered from depression just dont get it.
They dont understand what its like to feel like utter poope everyday, they dont know what its like to look around you and see nothing is wrong but inside everything is wrong.
Its a horrible affliction but unless youve been there its easy to say things such as "man up" etc.
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I suffer from Depression.
A few years back i was really bad, lost interest in my business.
Its still a battle, but im nowhere near as bad as i was.
Looking forward to pushing on growing the business.
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ive only suffered alcoholism and drug addiction many years ago so NO i dont understand........... its hard to feel the pain of them dark days years later.....
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ive only suffered alcoholism and drug addiction many years ago so NO i dont understand........... its hard to feel the pain of them dark days years later.....
I have neither suffered with alcohol or drug addiction, but again I know people who have, but unlike you, instead of booting them when they're on the floor I try to empathize and help them get back up.
John
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Maybe sit this one out, eh Daz
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Hope you get things going again, I always wondered how you found the energy to do the long days that you did, followed by long evenings canvassing. Maybe trying to find a better work/life balance could be key.
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Well done Mick, wishing you all the best mate.
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Nice to hear from you Mick.
I've been so fed up lately...I've been thinking of offering 'backs only'!
Look forward to hearing how you get on.
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Welcome back mate,good to see you back in the game
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I didn't realise you were struggling Mick.
Best wishes to you in your recovery and endeavours.
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Didnt know you boys would care so much ;D
It was a mixture of many things, not being happy at home, heavy gambling addiction then my van and car being stolen on the same day was the iceing on the cake for me! Felt like whats the point working so hard just to gamble it away and be taken from me! And Daz is completely right, there is no point working all the hours as pound notes are not the be all and end all! As for doubting me with my work i havnt got many £10 fronts Daz,..they are all £12 now :-*! Not doing much commercial at all as simply cant be bothered with it with all the 4/5am starts and chasing payment all the time! I much prefere going out and hitting all the easy fronts and full houses for a late start and early finish in time to go and do milk canvassing which i enjoy as i see it as earning for excersise and do it with some good blokes. Im not down now to the point of lazy and cant be bothered as feel i am fully motivated to build up another round and also around the work i have at present! It Just all got on top of me and lost interest and lost so much work but hey ho am doing really well with the not gambling and being happy again, just setting small goals which are mainly to get to the point where my arse is in gear again but without the working all hours and weekends.
Nice 1 boys for your kind words! Means a lot.
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Whenever I overdo it and become tired and fatigued I get hacked off, sounds like you've been doing way more than me so can't imagine how you felt.
There's nothing like an extended break to boost the energy levels and mood.
I'm due one.
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Didnt know you boys would care so much ;D
It was a mixture of many things, not being happy at home, heavy gambling addiction then my van and car being stolen on the same day was the iceing on the cake for me! Felt like whats the point working so hard just to gamble it away and be taken from me! And Daz is completely right, there is no point working all the hours as pound notes are not the be all and end all! As for doubting me with my work i havnt got many £10 fronts Daz,..they are all £12 now :-*! Not doing much commercial at all as simply cant be bothered with it with all the 4/5am starts and chasing payment all the time! I much prefere going out and hitting all the easy fronts and full houses for a late start and early finish in time to go and do milk canvassing which i enjoy as i see it as earning for excersise and do it with some good blokes. Im not down now to the point of lazy and cant be bothered as feel i am fully motivated to build up another round and also around the work i have at present! It Just all got on top of me and lost interest and lost so much work but hey ho am doing really well with the not gambling and being happy again, just setting small goals which are mainly to get to the point where my arse is in gear again but without the working all hours and weekends.
Nice 1 boys for your kind words! Means a lot.
nice one mick.......to "crash and burn" can be a good thing as i know all too well from many years ago.i sincerely hope you can stop gambling for good too.keep the diet in check,try and get at least 6 or 7 hours sleep a night and regular exercise......
i sometimes wonder about some of the other guys that used to come on here(danny mac,another guy from liverpool etc who also worked ridiculously long days,often 7 days a week.....its unsustainable...somethings got to give and often its your health(mental,physical and spiritual)that suffers badly as well as personal relationships.....
best wishes mick
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Motorbikes are good for depression.
I love getting on my bike and having a blast, makes me fee free and the adrenaline surge really helps. Its why i learnt to ride.
I feel for anyone with depression, its a horrible mental illness and more and more people are suffering from it every year.
All the best mick..
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Have you considered taking a step back and simplifying your life Mick? Take all the cream and earn good money for less hours.
I know not much about depression but from my observations it seems that sufferers seemingly have a desire to either achieve "something" or be "somebody"? It's ok setting goals and going for it but wouldn't that just increase the pressure and expectation unnecessarily? Might it be worth considering changing the mindset to be content with less but have an easier, possibly happier existence? Maybe a change of focus? Some seem obsessed with ever increasing levels of "success". For me there is only one success- to be able to live your life in your own way.
I couldn't even tell you how many customers I have, how much I have earned this month or year without checking. It matters not to me, knowing doesn't change it. I have enough good quality work to work full time and earn a good living, I could have built muliple rounds with the work I turn away- I'll not go to my grave worried about any targets I never hit!!👍
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Hope you get things going again, I always wondered how you found the energy to do the long days that you did, followed by long evenings canvassing. Maybe trying to find a better work/life balance could be key.
👍Best of luck to you Mick 👍
In no way a comparison but I struggle with the S.A.D me thinks from doing an online depression questionare
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A few things that have helped me could perhaps interest you , yoga from you tube videos mainly, headspace (a meditation app) supplementing vitamin d and the b vitamins , also I found a lot of help researching the mutation of the Mtfr gene
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Hope you get things going again, I always wondered how you found the energy to do the long days that you did, followed by long evenings canvassing. Maybe trying to find a better work/life balance could be key.
👍Best of luck to you Mick 👍
In no way a comparison but I struggle with the S.A.D me thinks from doing an online depression questionare
Vitamin d will help
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A few things that have helped me could perhaps interest you , yoga from you tube videos mainly, headspace (a meditation app) supplementing vitamin d and the b vitamins , also I found a lot of help researching the mutation of the Mtfr gene
Good advice there 👍👍
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Hope you get things going again, I always wondered how you found the energy to do the long days that you did, followed by long evenings canvassing. Maybe trying to find a better work/life balance could be key.
👍Best of luck to you Mick 👍
In no way a comparison but I struggle with the S.A.D me thinks from doing an online depression questionare
Vitamin d will help
Funnily enough I have d Lux 3000 Holland and Barrett spray
Thanks Michael 😁
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But it only works when you take it 😳
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weight training and playing drums in a band is good for a low mood too!(but not at the same time!) ;D ;D ;D
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All the best Mick, can also relate as my wife suffers badly from severe depression and sadly my 17 Yr old daughter living with her mum is on suicide watch, for last couple of weeks.
Glad your coming through it strong and refocused. Hope it goes well for ya
Really sorry to read this Nathankaye, you must be very worried about her and terrible for your daughter to deal with.
Best of luck to you your family and to Mick and his.
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All the best Mick, can also relate as my wife suffers badly from severe depression and sadly my 17 Yr old daughter living with her mum is on suicide watch, for last couple of weeks.
Glad your coming through it strong and refocused. Hope it goes well for ya
Really sorry to read this Nathankaye, you must be very worried about her and terrible for your daughter to deal with.
Best of luck to you your family and to Mick and his.
Much appreciated
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Depression is a hidden illness that is horrible. Build up a good round and remember to take time out for yourself when you need to. Don't overdo it and keep it constant. If it helps then phone 70 percent of your customers the evening before so you have a commitment to go out and window clean as others will be expecting you to turn up. That allows yourself some free time to be late turning up for work if need be but keep your work constant, regular and be reliable to your customers. Don't fall in the trap of taking days off 'cause you can't be bothered because depression with the voices are playing havoc on your mind. Make planned time out for breaks, holidays, days of leisure and stick to them. Exercise is good for fighting depression and being outdoors helps us well. Good luck :)
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A few things that have helped me could perhaps interest you , yoga from you tube videos mainly, headspace (a meditation app) supplementing vitamin d and the b vitamins , also I found a lot of help researching the mutation of the Mtfr gene
I have to say the headspace app is probably the best app I have.
I meditate at least 20 minutes now every morning and am beginning to introduce mindfulness more fully in to my daily life. I absolutely love the meditation, I’m beginning to find a place inside myself I never knew existed that can bring some relative peace and a real sense of calm. Thank heavens for Andy Puddicombe.
His book on his life as a monk and how he escaped from one monastry dressed in his monks robes by jumping over a 12’ wall and how the headspace app came in to being is also worth spending a few bob on.
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To the numpty who broke in and nicked my antidepressants.......... I hope you’re happy now!!
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Depression seems to be the curse of the windowcleaner. Maybe it’s because we work alone? I get bad weeks and there’s not much I can do except ride it out. Excersise helps a bit, staying off here and away from crap tv too. Took meds for a while which helps to get back into a normal sleep pattern. These days money means very little to me, the bragging posts go over my head, I couldn’t give a toss what car you drive, your hobbies, or what your girlfriend looks like. . I also have every sympathy for people who commit suicide, it’s not cowardice or selfishness as most think. Untill it happens to you, you’ll never understand.
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Depression seems to be the curse of the windowcleaner. Maybe it’s because we work alone? I get bad weeks and there’s not much I can do except ride it out. Excersise helps a bit, staying off here and away from crap tv too. Took meds for a while which helps to get back into a normal sleep pattern. These days money means very little to me, the bragging posts go over my head, I couldn’t give a toss what car you drive, your hobbies, or what your girlfriend looks like. 👍
Just to let you know, my profile pic is my Mrs 👍
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A few things that have helped me could perhaps interest you , yoga from you tube videos mainly, headspace (a meditation app) supplementing vitamin d and the b vitamins , also I found a lot of help researching the mutation of the Mtfr gene
I have to say the headspace app is probably the best app I have.
I meditate at least 20 minutes now every morning and am beginning to introduce mindfulness more fully in to my daily life. I absolutely love the meditation, I’m beginning to find a place inside myself I never knew existed that can bring some relative peace and a real sense of calm. Thank heavens for Andy Puddicombe.
His book on his life as a monk and how he escaped from one monastry dressed in his monks robes by jumping over a 12’ wall and how the headspace app came in to being is also worth spending a few bob on.
Totally agree.
I'm coming to the end of my second year with headspace, I couldn't recommend it enough, the benefits you get for 30 minutes a day are great. Even if you only start with 5 minutes, the sense of calm and wellbeing will have you wanting more.
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I couldn’t give a toss what car you drive, your hobbies, or what your girlfriend looks like.
Exactly.
Once consumerism has played its part in your life and temporarily made you feel good about yourself your on your own once more.
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I think losing customers and dealing with messers , messes with your head. Makes you doubt yourself , every time I lose a customer or deal with a messer , I clean my windows and go round inspecting every one of them looking for something Iv done wrong
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I think losing customers and dealing with messers , messes with your head. Makes you doubt yourself , every time I lose a customer or deal with a messer , I clean my windows and go round inspecting every one of them looking for something Iv done wrong
Nothing slows my work speed down like finding a couple of spots.
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I think losing customers and dealing with messers , messes with your head. Makes you doubt yourself , every time I lose a customer or deal with a messer , I clean my windows and go round inspecting every one of them looking for something Iv done wrong
i really dont care.....i just move on to my next job and dont give it a second thought.....give it a try mate!
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And to cause an argument ...... cbd works very well
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I think losing customers and dealing with messers , messes with your head. Makes you doubt yourself , every time I lose a customer or deal with a messer , I clean my windows and go round inspecting every one of them looking for something Iv done wrong
You’re not alone in this. It’s very hard not to take it personally. I still do even though I’m not the one doing the cleaning any more.
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As someone who has suffered depression and anxiety most of their adult life. What I can say is it never truly goes away it's always there ready to bit but as the years go by you get better at dealing with it.
The best way I've found to deal with it is when you feel the negative thoughts are low mood coming to not feed into it. Do not do what I always did and re affirm to myself how crap the world is, how crap my life is and how bad I feel. Do not try to help it grow by getting dragged in. Also do not try to pretend it isn't there and force yourself to smile etc, denying it's there and trying to fake being happy doesn't work.
Now what has worked for me is a meditation technique where you become the watcher. It takes a while to get any good at and at first you won't be able to do it, but as the thoughts and feeling occur just be calm and watch them as though you are a third party and not the one feeling the sensations . Just look and observe and think ok these negative thoughts and low mood are coming but don't feed into them. It's almost as if you step out of your body and become an observer.
You can do this with any situation in life btw. Imagine a heated argument, you are literally wrapped up in the storm of your thoughts, Feelings etc and that argument and anger in the moment is the only thing that matters in the world. It's the same with depression it takes over everything and consumes you. Try to be present, take a breath and watch as though the argument or the thing whatever it maybe you are an observer, it's happening but you feel nothing because you don't allow it to take over you.
Anyway lol, the other thing that really helps me is regular exercise. If I don't exercise I can few the tension and negative energy increase in my body.
Remember the opposite of depression is expression.
To depress you go inwards, energy goes internal and is bottled up.
When you express energy goes outwards, is realised, just like hard exercise or even screaming or shouting, or crying...of anyone has ever been so bad they scream or cry until they have nothing left then they will afterwards fell better...that because of expression.
Try it chaps, meditate, be present become the watcher and express in whatever form you choose.
If you've never been afflicted with depression you will now be thinking what an absolute loon.
If you know what it's like to cry like a baby as a grown man for no apparent reason you might understand.
Mick or anyone else who is suffering, please look into meditation.
This is one of my favourite explanations
https://youtu.be/sT-VLNrk-F8
If you've never heard of Alan Watts look it up on your tube, his thoughts and theorys on the world were genius.
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Adam that is a lovely insightful post.
Its so true, it never really leaves you.
Who did your website? its much better than the last one.
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If you've never heard of Alan Watts look it up on your tube, his thoughts and theorys on the world were genius.
Alan Watts is class. I've listened to all the stuff on him I could've when I went through an Alan Watts phase.
You know he was an alkie? Failed marriages and neglected kids all over the place, and he died relatively young.
I'm not knocking the guy; he never claimed to be anything special; he said he was a 'spiritual entertainer' and he's just that.
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If you've never heard of Alan Watts look it up on your tube, his thoughts and theorys on the world were genius.
Alan Watts is class. I've listened to all the stuff on him I could've when I went through an Alan Watts phase.
You know he was an alkie? Failed marriages and neglected kids all over the place, and he died relatively young.
I'm not knocking the guy; he never claimed to be anything special; he said he was a 'spiritual entertainer' and he's just that.
Yeh i think alcohol killed him or contributed to his death
Also was a bit of a hippy by all accounts, LSD and magic mushrooms etc but apparently this gave him some great insights into the mind and spirituality etc...
Yeh i went through a phase of listening to stuff like this, another guy i like is eckhart tolle.
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Yeh i went through a phase of listening to stuff like this, another guy i like is eckhart tolle.
Eckhart Tolle is a weird one. He had some 'spiritual experience' when in mental pain and seemingly became enlightened over night.
After sitting on parkbenches for a year (or two?) he decides to go on a spiritual journey and he ends up teaching what Buddhists call Mindfulness.
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Yeh i went through a phase of listening to stuff like this, another guy i like is eckhart tolle.
Eckhart Tolle is a weird one. He had some 'spiritual experience' when in mental pain and seemingly became enlightened over night.
After sitting on parkbenches for a year (or two?) he decides to go on a spiritual journey and he ends up teaching what Buddhists call Mindfulness.
Yeh i think a lot of these teachers are a bit weird! it goes with the territory...still he has some very interesting books...i think with these type of teachers its often best to take what is usefull for yourself. Alan watts seems more human and a funny man, eckhart is more serious and seems to disregard the ego and try to live completely mindfull.
philosophy and spirituality are really interesting to me though, i love thinking about this type of stuff
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Thankfully I’ve never suffered with depression.
However after a recent accident which resulted in me breaking my leg and dislocating my ankle, it’s opened my mind to how depression can develop when everything changes one minute working 6 days a week the next I’m in a metal cage for 6 months!!!
I’ve always taken the Philosophy There is always somebody in a worse position than me.
My mind set has always been worry about the things I can control and not the stuff I cant!
At the moment I have no idea how much work I’ll be going back to, lots of people say they will have me back but you never know, all I can do is focus on what matters that’s my recovery and coming back stronger than before both physically and mentally, preparing all my kit for when I’m back only then when I’m back will I stress about work as it will matter.
I my thoughts are with anyone that suffers with the condition but if it’s getting on top, take a breath break all the issues down and deal with one at a time, and the list will only get shorter.
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My other half has been going through a 'Dark Night of the Soul', to use an old fashioned term for depression. It was a surprise to us all; the last time she suffered with it was about ten years ago when her father died.
Anyway, she visted the GP - with me - and the GP recommended some exercise. Well she does that - to the extreme - already (70 miles a week running and 3 or 4 times a week lifting). She runs and sometimes wins, ultra marathons. She ended up with the standard happy tablets (Certa-something?).
But since then she's been meditating - every evening - using Insight Meditation Timer (like headspace); you get stars for meditation days in-a-row; stars are very important.
But the radical thing she's done is volunteer to befriend a lonely elderly person. She's had an interview, has been found suitable, and is currently getting DBS checked. Once police checked she'll get matched with a local lonely elderly person to befriend and spend a little time with each week.
She still has rough days, but she's tough in that she generally still gets all the stuff done that she wants to get done (and I think she does too much). She says she doesn't feel tough, but she is.
I think she's doing brilliantly; my take on it is seeing the doctor is great - get the happy tablets and get some stability - but don't see those tablets as a solution; they're just to get stable. And then seek other solutions like exercise, meditation, mindfulness, go and help somebody face-to-face (lots of studies show helping others benefits those with depression) and make any changes that may need changing (you'll know the ones).
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My other half has been going through a 'Dark Night of the Soul', to use an old fashioned term for depression. It was a surprise to us all; the last time she suffered with it was about ten years ago when her father died.
Anyway, she visted the GP - with me - and the GP recommended some exercise. Well she does that - to the extreme - already (70 miles a week running and 3 or 4 times a week lifting). She runs and sometimes wins, ultra marathons. She ended up with the standard happy tablets (Certa-something?).
But since then she's been meditating - every evening - using Insight Meditation Timer (like headspace); you get stars for meditation days in-a-row; stars are very important.
But the radical thing she's done is volunteer to befriend a lonely elderly person. She's had an interview, has been found suitable, and is currently getting DBS checked. Once police checked she'll get matched with a local lonely elderly person to befriend and spend a little time with each week.
She still has rough days, but she's tough in that she generally still gets all the stuff done that she wants to get done (and I think she does too much). She says she doesn't feel tough, but she is.
I think she's doing brilliantly; my take on it is seeing the doctor is great - get the happy tablets and get some stability - but don't see those tablets as a solution; they're just to get stable. And then seek other solutions like exercise, meditation, mindfulness, go and help somebody face-to-face (lots of studies show helping others benefits those with depression) and make any changes that may need changing (you'll know the ones).
Citralopram....Prozac, yeh had plenty of those.
What I found with antidepressants, those in particular is they numb the senses, they didn't make me feel happy but took the edge off the feeling like crap...but they made me feel like a zombie, difficult to explain but they reduced the ability to feel emotion, not completely of course but to a small extent.
Medication is useful to take the edge of any would be very helpfull to deal with suicidal type depression but not really an answer long term..
I think meditation really is the key because it teaches detachment from feelings and emotions good or bad.
In order to feel happy you have to notice and believe you are happy just as you have to notice and believe you are depressed.
If you didn't then to be either one is impossible. It's like saying I can or I can't do something, if you say you can you can and you can't then you can't.
Something that we all do, I'll probably do it tomorrow morning when I have to go out into the cold to clean some windows, take a puff of air and say "I can't be arsed"..then my demeanor will change, I will embody that probably by repeating it, some negative thoughts will come into my head, shoulders will drop etc.
My point is that the mind is very powerful and so are our houghts we have to be very carefull what we allow to take on board and what self talk we give ourselves.
The best way I've found to deal with depression is just accept it, let it come and just remember it will go. Just like the tide comes in and out, nothing to try to fight or deny it just is what it is.
I think that the way I look at depression only comes after many years of trying to look for an answer to it. Be that tablets, councilling, CBT, etc I've done it all.
As soon as I stopped trying to find an cure, I found a way of dealing with it by simply accepting it and not giving it any power.
All much easier said than done when you are not depressed of course. Much more difficult when you are feeling low.
But meditation is the key.
With regards exercise, I found that it's almost impossible to be depressed during a hard workout, you know the ones where all you can concentrate on is breathing and staying alive. I'm a cyclist myself and I guess it would be the same with jogging when you are riding so hard all you focus on is the breath, that's a form of meditation in itself as you can't be depressed or have nay other thoughts on that moment, the body shuts off the mind to deal with just simply surviving
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Eventually I had to come off Citrolopram.
It turns you into a zombie. You dont feel anything evenutally, you sort of exist, and dont feel happy or sad, everything becomes 'Meh
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These doctors really annoy me suggesting people to go on anti depressants all the time.my mother hasn't even got depression and her doctor tried to get her on them....thankfully she refused...
The medicalisation of our society is sickening IMO....for God sake some doctors are prescribing anti depressants for children....it's wrong....
We re meant to feel sad and low sometimes.....ok if your suicidal(or have regular thoughts of it then fair enough go see a doctor and get some happy pills).....
CBT,talking therapies,counsellors, meditation,diet,exercise should all be encouraged before medication....
These pharmaceutical companies are very big and powerful and make a lot of money out of this......
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These doctors really annoy me suggesting people to go on anti depressants all the time.my mother hasn't even got depression and her doctor tried to get her on them....thankfully she refused...
The medicalisation of our society is sickening IMO....for God sake some doctors are prescribing anti depressants for children....it's wrong....
We re meant to feel sad and low sometimes.....ok if your suicidal(or have regular thoughts of it then fair enough go see a doctor and get some happy pills).....
CBT,talking therapies,counsellors meditation,diet,exercise should all be encouraged before medication....
These pharmaceutical companies are very big and powerful and make a lot of money out of this......
Dazmond if you get it wrong you crack a pane of glass, if a doctor gets it wrong somebody walks in front of a moving lorry, think before you spout nonsense.
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These doctors really annoy me suggesting people to go on anti depressants all the time.my mother hasn't even got depression and her doctor tried to get her on them....thankfully she refused...
The medicalisation of our society is sickening IMO....for God sake some doctors are prescribing anti depressants for children....it's wrong....
We re meant to feel sad and low sometimes.....ok if your suicidal(or have regular thoughts of it then fair enough go see a doctor and get some happy pills).....
CBT,talking therapies,counsellors meditation,diet,exercise should all be encouraged before medication....
These pharmaceutical companies are very big and powerful and make a lot of money out of this......
Dazmond if you get it wrong you crack a pane of glass, if a doctor gets it wrong somebody walks in front of a moving lorry, think before you spout nonsense.
They all work for the pharmaceutical companies these days....
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It's taken ages to get the doctors to put my wife forward for an appointment to the likes of talking therapy, as this seems to be the first port of call for our doctors. My wife suffers from severe depression and has many suicidal thoughts. After only three one and a half to two hr sessions, the therapist realised how deep the symptoms were/are and recommended a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist and talking group's and was going to put it before the panel.
Blooming waste of time as she called today to say the panel recommends group therapy to build self esteem instead of tackling the issues. My Mrs phoned me in floods of tears thinking she was gonna get some help at long last only to have that door slammed shut in her face after saying step up to the door and wait to come through.
(This is why I tinker with things as that's my own coping mechanism with all that's going on. Nope I don't suffer from depression) Sadly thats not the case with my Mrs.
Never mind my daughter who lives with her mum and because she's 17 n half it's the battle of who can take responsibility to help her. Childrens mental health services or adults and between them they can't decide. No depression tablets prescribed though
After spending a night in a Physc ward because of how bad she got one night, they realised on the next visit that more should be done on their part as my daughter needs more help and promised this step n that and guess what, two days later a phone call to say sorry but at the moment all they can offer is a crisis Camhs team support, which is just more talking and no true action in helping.
They make you jump through hoops before we can get the proper help that is needed
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i feel for you nathan....i really do....i once went out with a nurse with bi polar......no amount of medication seemed to help,CBT did though for a while but in the end she did my head in and i had to dump her for my own sanity(she was a binge drinker too which didnt help me as i was struggling with alcoholism at the time)....
i wish you and your missus all the best and i hope she gets the treatment thatll help her get well......
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Nathan
I too wish you all the best for you and your family, and to anyone else who suffers with depression.
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Thanks chaps.
Think it's been a good thread Mike and hopefully knowing your not the only one going through this or journeying through this jungle can be a good source of encouragement and possibly support. Knowing that these issues can be talked about and others can sympathise as so many have on this thread, that there is support on here dispite all our little tiffs etc
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I sadly lost a cousin to depression this year. He was struggling to come to terms with his girlfriend commiting suicide a few months previously. Depression has to be taken seriously, especially for people who live alone, who can hide their emotions from others.
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My other half has been going through a 'Dark Night of the Soul', to use an old fashioned term for depression. It was a surprise to us all; the last time she suffered with it was about ten years ago when her father died.
Anyway, she visted the GP - with me - and the GP recommended some exercise. Well she does that - to the extreme - already (70 miles a week running and 3 or 4 times a week lifting). She runs and sometimes wins, ultra marathons. She ended up with the standard happy tablets (Certa-something?).
But since then she's been meditating - every evening - using Insight Meditation Timer (like headspace); you get stars for meditation days in-a-row; stars are very important.
But the radical thing she's done is volunteer to befriend a lonely elderly person. She's had an interview, has been found suitable, and is currently getting DBS checked. Once police checked she'll get matched with a local lonely elderly person to befriend and spend a little time with each week.
She still has rough days, but she's tough in that she generally still gets all the stuff done that she wants to get done (and I think she does too much). She says she doesn't feel tough, but she is.
I think she's doing brilliantly; my take on it is seeing the doctor is great - get the happy tablets and get some stability - but don't see those tablets as a solution; they're just to get stable. And then seek other solutions like exercise, meditation, mindfulness, go and help somebody face-to-face (lots of studies show helping others benefits those with depression) and make any changes that may need changing (you'll know the ones).
That befriending an old person is brilliant. Good on her.
I’ve taken to helping old folk out as much as I can recently. It makes you feel bloody brilliant.
Yesterday I helped some old fella out in Sainsburys. He was struggling, then when I’d finished I wished him a good day. I think it helped him, it did me.
Nathan, I wish you all the best. I wouldn’t wish mental illness issues on my own worst enemy. Apart from the usual crap about recovery from active alcoholism I suffer from anxiety. This year has been the worst year for it for me, worse than when my mother died. I’ve had to pull out all the stops to be able to get through it. Tomorrow morning I’ll be engulfed with it again when I wake up. There’s only one way through it and I’m blessed at least with the ability to be able to put one foot in front of the other and slowly make my way through the ‘treacle’.
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On top of all of that, my mother was diagnosed with alzheimers two months ago as well, so an extra bumpy road ahead. I swear I'm not making this stuff, it sounds like something on a soap series.
(my mother is the career of my adult sister who has downs syndrome, (tho with a career she can look after herself)
Sadly and I'm sure I'm not on my own with this, where I have had/seen many of my customers who have been seriously ill and their partner/loved one has been looking after them relentlessly. However these are the ones whose health takes a severe nose dive and some sadly go to an early grave themselves. If this has taught me one thing, it's that I can be selfish at times. It's OK to have a day off and do solely what I wish to do. Why? Because for me to look after and help and be supportive, I have to be in good health myself.
I'm sorry that I haven't read every post on this thread, but I can sympathise with all who are walking through the "treacle" and the daily battle this brings, even to have a slight desire to actually want to open their eyes in a morning.
I can sympathise for the ones who are going through it indirectly through supporting their loved one/family member and you have to tell yourself it's OK to give yourself a little "you time!"
If nothing else, for ones on here, just talking about it with one's who can listen and understand can also be good.