Clean It Up
UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: Jay Le Huray on November 19, 2017, 06:56:50 am
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myself and my partner have several nicknames for some of our customers.... I'm sure other cleaners do too, here is a few.
Mrs Dim but Nice
Mrs Crumpy
Mr Coweb
Mrs Polish
Mr Chauvinist
Aunt Sally
Mr Smelly
Miss Avon
Andy The Tea Man
The Professor
Mr & Mrs Bling
Mrs Yappy Dog
there are a few more but I must refrain from typing them lol
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I Have a
Maggie Thatcher
Miss Prim
Talking Gill
Broken neck Lady
Granny Blair
Oh didnt know you were coming today -Lee
Dog sh*t Jo
Might think of some more later.
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How about.
Miss. It this time
Mr. Bit
Mr. Payment
;D
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Not so much for people but I've had a few for places.
An ex-job of mine I knew as "dog sh*t alley". I thought of one customer as Mr Unilateral, because he used the word - a lot :)
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My favourite is
Mr sultana corduroy
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Driving instructor
Frenchy (no, not for that but she has a 2nd home in france)
Dr's
Hunchback
Cameltoe (yes for that!
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I remember one customer I had in the UK. She was a widow, nice enough as a person but always had something to complain about. Her general demeanor was one of negativity, so my nickname for her was Mrs Half-Empty.
John
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Haha great thread.
I got one woman I sacked and took back a few times, but she kept being nice at last minute and giving me extra etc.
Her name was moany-Lisa.
Sacked her for good last week after going to Bacs and she still couldn't pay. Sometimes your best leaving the dross where it belongs !!
Moany Lisa, who feckin needs one of them
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Dog S@#t Pete
Dog s@#t Ali
Dog s@#t Sean
All of which are now ex customers ;D
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Only got three names:
BP - bad payer (collect & drop)
FB - Funny person (not in a good way)
Dodgy - (gut feeling trouble)
The rest have no nicknames, happy with the rest :)
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Only ever named one - The Willy Waggler
Slippers, V neck jumper, untold amounts of dandruff, very sweaty looking and in his 40's still living with his wheelchair bound mum in a bungalow and obviously never worked in his life.
Back in the day when traditional I was soaping up a large frosted window and was convinced that the custie performed some sort of strange dance in the hallway! Something seemed wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. 6 weeks later, cleaned the front and popped round the side to the frosted one, soaped it up then went straight to the back where I could look down the hallway. There stood my now ex custie with his jeans and pants round his ankles jiggling about for all his worth glancing into the front room to check mum can't see him.
I believe the phrase 'Babies arm holding an orange' would be suitable to describe what I saw, the only saving grace being that he wasn't stood to attention. And yes I did finish the bungalow, got paid and never went back, although the muppet rang me 7-8 weeks later see why I hadn't cleaned and couldn't understand why I no longer wished to clean 'due' to his dancing.
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I have a few names for the odd customer but decorum prevents me repeating it on here! ;D
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My top three, in no particular order:
Racist Archie
Smokey Joe
MILF Filth
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awkward lovely
lovely
old lovely
miserable lovely
not that lovely lovely again
argh that lovely
ya husbands a lovely lady
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If I was you I'd quickly edit that or you'll be banned for sure.
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If I was you I'd quickly edit that or you'll be banned for sure.
;D
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another one I have just remembered
Mr Naked......
he would answer the door in just a dressing gown that was always wide open for all to see.... yuk
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Customer called carol opened the door today in nothing but a towel wrapped round her.
From this day on she will be known as
Towel Carol
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Customer called carol opened the door today in nothing but a towel wrapped round her.
From this day on she will be known as
Towel Carol
If only a few more weeks had passed eh! Xmas Carol ;D ;D ;D
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Mine was the love doctor.
Way back i was canvassing and i called on a lady to ask if she wanted a window cleaner.
She said 'oh no thanks there is no way my husband would ever pay to have the windows cleaned...hes a tight g**.
So i said do you know of Lee Evans. Puzzled...."yes" she said. Well look up ypu tube sexy sat navs, there is a bit on how to get your husband to do whatever you want him to do..
https://youtu.be/pEHrR_zjdXc
So anyway i thought that was it and was just making a bad call funnier.
Anyway 3 days later i get an enquiry...its the husband of the same lady i called on and booked him in. He seemed very happy to have his windows cleaned...and as he was a GP we called him the love doctor.
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A group of old folks houses, 'death row' new residents every quarter.
Mart
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James the C@&T
The frog people
girl thingy brindal
The poisoned dwarf