Clean It Up

UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: Rogue Trader on September 23, 2015, 10:40:35 am

Title: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Rogue Trader on September 23, 2015, 10:40:35 am
A couple of weeks ago i recieved an RFQ (request for quotation) for a property. I couldnt believe my eyes, take a look. The quote is for a 12 weekly clean of a 2 bed end of terrace!!!

September 13, 2015
Request for Quotation
To Whom It May Concern,
   We are currently considering a regular window cleaning service and you are hereby invited to submit your best price to undertake the work identified within this document, it is intended that the selected vendor from this initial RFQ stage will finalise their quotation with a visit to the property.
The property; a 2 bedroom end of terrace residence is located within the Cul-de-sac of  Maidenbower.
Please complete and return the following Returnable Price Schedule to aid our selection process.

Work Scope   Notes (to aid Quotation)   Vendor Cost (incl. VAT) [£]
12 Weekly (Approx.)
uPVC Window Cleaning (incl. frames and Sills)   Guideline Notes for Pricing
Ref: 1 & 2 (Page 2)   
1 off Gutter Cleaning (Front and Rear)   Guideline Notes for Pricing
Ref: 3 (Page 2)   
1 off Fascia Board Cleaning (Front and Rear)   Guideline Notes for Pricing
Ref: 4 (Page 2)   

Please respond by return email, including the completed Returnable Price Schedule (above), your Quotation reference, terms and conditions and the preferred payment methods.
Bids must reach us no later than;    Friday 18th September 2015
Bids must remain valid;         30 days
All Correspondence will be carried out by email (russell.campbell@com) during the initial RFQ stage.
We will endeavor to select a supplier during week commencing 21st September 2015.


Yours faithfully,



Guideline Notes for Pricing
1.   12 Weekly (Approx.) uPVC Window Cleaning
1.1.   Ground Floor;
1.1.1.    Front of House;
1.1.1.1.   Kitchen Window
1.1.1.2.   1x Small Window
1.1.1.3.   Front Door
1.1.2.    End of Terrace
1.1.2.1.   1x Small Window
1.1.3.    Back of House
1.1.3.1.   1x Small Window
1.1.3.2.   French Doors   1.2.   1st Floor;
1.2.1.    Front of House
1.2.1.1.   1x Bedroom Window
1.2.1.2.   Bathroom Window
1.2.2.    Back of House
1.2.2.1.   2x Bedroom Window
2.   Access
2.1.   Vehicular Access
2.1.1.    Off road drive way to the side of the property   2.2.   Pedestrian Access
2.2.1.    Front of Property – small grassed garden
2.2.2.    Rear of Property
2.2.2.1.   Gated Side Access
2.2.2.2.   2 Level Wooden Decking
(across width of property)
3.   Gutter Cleaning
Front





   Rear
4.   Fascia Board Cleaning
Front





   Rear

 ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Positivity on September 23, 2015, 11:22:55 am
Civil servant? Local Authority?
Definitely not a candidate for the Plain English Award.
If all that's for a 2 bed terrace imagine what the request for a large commercial site would be like ??? ???.
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: jk999 on September 23, 2015, 11:24:43 am
I would send an email  back saying thanks but no thanks
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Shane sharples on September 23, 2015, 11:33:24 am
Wow that make a job difficult to understand!!!
My response- I only do monthly  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Ian Lancaster on September 23, 2015, 12:20:00 pm
I'm sorry, I'm afraid our space ship is in having it's portholes cleaned and we don't have a spare.  Here on Earth we regard "2 bed end of terrace 1 x 12 weeks" as being so insignificant that it's hardly worth the time it takes to reply 'no thank you'.  Your email didn't specify origin  so I don't know where in the
universe you are but it must be the strangest place I ever heard of.

With thanks, but no thanks,

...........................................................



Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: DaveG on September 23, 2015, 03:22:40 pm
He sounds like an unbelievable "lady part" ! String him along and let us know how you get on!  ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Rogue Trader on September 23, 2015, 04:01:53 pm
i was going to respond just by saying "£12" nothing more then i decided that this bloke is trouble and any sort of response will be opening up a can of worms!
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Smurf on September 23, 2015, 04:38:55 pm
Best you don't forget to submit your proof of insurance, risk assesment and methods statement in the tender two...wtf ???  ;D ;D ;D

Quote would go somthing like this....










Fookoof you w****r  ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Smurf on September 23, 2015, 05:31:56 pm
i was going to respond just by saying "£12" nothing more then i decided that this bloke is trouble and any sort of response will be opening up a can of worms!

You are welcome to clear my guttering, clean all the plastics and clean my windows including frames,glass & sills for 12 squid.
But first I want proof you are properly insured, provide me with RAMS and agree to my payment terms of 90 days . However if you do a crap job you will not get a penny ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: robbo333 on September 23, 2015, 05:44:20 pm
Go on...stick in a quote for £350 quid...you know you want to!  ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Smurf on September 23, 2015, 05:50:46 pm
I would if not more just for the craic  ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Walter Mitty on September 23, 2015, 05:53:22 pm
Go on...stick in a quote for £350 quid...you know you want to!  ;D

Damn you Robbo.  That was gonna be my line :)
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Smurf on September 23, 2015, 05:57:55 pm
This bit cracked me up  ;D
"it is intended that the selected vendor from this initial RFQ stage will finalise their quotation with a visit to the property"

Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Ian101 on September 23, 2015, 06:10:28 pm
 :o :o

life is too short for that crap ..... big commercial quote then yes but 2 bed end terrace  ::)roll
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Ian101 on September 23, 2015, 06:11:14 pm
:o :o

life is too short for that crap ..... big commercial quote then yes but 2 bed end terrace  ::)roll

poop b******s crap ................. is the swear filter off ?  :)
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Smurf on September 23, 2015, 06:14:48 pm
You never know the chap might be a property tycoon and have a multi billion pound property portfolio  ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Matt. on September 23, 2015, 06:38:14 pm
Wooooooow

Ya can't go in at £12 for that, the time it takes to do a method statement will come to more than that.

I would do a brake down price each section separate this will help increase the bill  :D

Also you must tape off any working area displaying cones saying trailing hoses also display wet floor signs, you will also need to have a guy stand around until the floor area is completely dry and this could be 2 hour labour depending in weather.
Maybe consider contacting the local council to put a road closure on

If I got a domestic and they sent that to me, sfg would be getting done via a cherry picker ( don't forget to add all the vat ) just to pee him off.

Truth is I wouldn't even consider working for him but send it anyway and see what is reply is  ;D
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Matt. on September 23, 2015, 06:39:46 pm
Oh ye and if you do get invited to attend the second round then you need paying to attend plus travel costs, please ensure to put this in your original quote
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: slap bash on September 23, 2015, 07:36:01 pm
Send him a quote for the quote will be £200 .
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Joey Eastwood on September 23, 2015, 08:59:38 pm
haha that is rediculous compared to the normal '' alright mate can you do mine?'' over the garden fence
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: rosskesava on September 23, 2015, 10:47:46 pm
I think my reply would have been along the lines of:

'Re your completely and totally ridiculous OTT demands as to your required process for a quote to clean what is just a few windows.

You must be some type of idiot if you think I'm going to all that trouble over such a little house.'

Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Walter Mitty on September 23, 2015, 10:57:28 pm
Could have a bit of fun with this.  Copy/paste pages of meaningless legal-looking documents with all manner of obscure words.
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Bungle on September 23, 2015, 11:12:05 pm
Can I have his email address as I'd like to tender for this job  :)
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: steve rix on September 23, 2015, 11:27:54 pm
This is a council contract. Just bang in what you think, it can/will lead to more work. They dont give two poops  for the house you are quoting on, just want hte job done
Title: Re: Can u believe this!!!
Post by: Rogue Trader on September 24, 2015, 08:38:13 am
anyone who wants to submit a quote then email me and i will give u his email address matt@pure-windowcleaning.co.uk you never know it could be the start of something really big, it may just be a 2 bed end of terrace now but he may extend in the future to a 3 or even a 4 bed end of terrace , then he may put on a conservatory , you'd be quids in ;D