Clean It Up
UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: wpclean on February 20, 2014, 03:25:36 pm
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Had depression all my life, and the worst part of it for me is when I can't get round the customers on time when I have a bad few weeks, and can't leave the house !
The customers are very patient, and loyal, and I have to lie to them on why I am late ( I blame my bad back ) !
Just a note to people on here not to be too harsh or critical to others on here who are not so confident, and cannot take things in so easily.
I know a lot strive for money, and success, but some of us are just grateful to be able to pay the basics, and have the flexibility to work when feeling normal.
Rant over ;D
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What an honest post, I hope your feeling good at the moment.
Tony
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Be honest with your customers. I'm sure in most you would find an understanding ally. I admire your strength, doing this job must be very tough at times.
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good luck samson :) and keep going 8)
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Take my hat off to you Samson
At least you go out to work when you can and not sit on benefits claiming for depression good for you and all the best to you 👍👳👳👳🇬🇧
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I know your pain bud. I was deeply depressed for nearly 10 years. I guess i was just one of "those" kids. A life of fast food, caffeine and video games didn't help.
I was in a dead end job (call center) and had a pathetic excuse for a life.
A previous bad fall at work caused me to quit window cleaning and get an office job.
Without WFP i would still be in that office feeling like poop!
It's been a good two years of happy time as i call it.
My check list is.
CLEARED 40K DEPT - CHECK
OFF THE HAPPY PILLS - CHECK
GOT A PARTNER - CHECK
GOT A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS - DOUBLE CHECK
When i look back i think why was so depressed and so anxious but you can't look at it like that.
I have come out a better person, i respect money and people. My enthusiasm for life can be taking the wrong way which annoys me, but hey ho.
Had massive break through this year with work but i have learnt my lesson. Nobody needs to know apart from nearest and dearest.
Hats off to you for bringing up the subject.
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I have suffered from depression myself, and was signed off work some years ago due to it. A lot of people are very unsympathetic, usually through ignorance, as they have absolutely no clue just how debilitating it can be. My wife suffers from severe depression, and has done since she was in her late teens (due, in no small part to an 'unpleasant' childhood), and even her mother just doesn't really understand. She is one of those that think you just need to 'pull your socks up', that depression is just a state of mind.
I don't know how you are dealing with it, but seeing a Councillor certainly helped my wife, and from my personal experience, physical exercise helps, as it is a natural 'up'. Doesn't have to be particularly strenuous, a brisk walk, preferably somewhere out in the country, or where you get a nice view. Don't suffer in silence though, that can quite often make things worse.
You hang in there, and dont let the b****rds drag you down :)
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I don't think it was a rant.
If you let your customers know then you will be surprised how many of them suffer the same as you and are on A/D's themselves.
For some reason blaming a bad back doesn't 'wash' but if you admit to suffering with a mental illness you will find that most will be very sympathetic.
When you let people know, then they understand why you are behind (most of us are anyway) with their cleans. Stress over being late generates more stress which creates its own negative spiral on your health.
Another point you have to accept is that if you had just enough customers to service regularly during your not so good periods, you won't have enough customers during your good periods.
A sign of the times we live in is equating riches with success. there are some of us who aren't money driven. I personally get more satisfaction from doing a good job. Money is important, but isn't the bee all and end all for me. Others are different.
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I have suffered from depression myself, and was signed off work some years ago due to it. A lot of people are very unsympathetic, usually through ignorance, as they have absolutely no clue just how debilitating it can be. My wife suffers from severe depression, and has done since she was in her late teens (due, in no small part to an 'unpleasant' childhood), and even her mother just doesn't really understand. She is one of those that think you just need to 'pull your socks up', that depression is just a state of mind.
I don't know how you are dealing with it, but seeing a Councillor certainly helped my wife, and from my personal experience, physical exercise helps, as it is a natural 'up'. Doesn't have to be particularly strenuous, a brisk walk, preferably somewhere out in the country, or where you get a nice view. Don't suffer in silence though, that can quite often make things worse.
You hang in there, and dont let the b****rds drag you down :)
Good points made here Simon.
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Bloodyhell H20 you must be raking in the doe, paying a £40,000 debt off in 2 years plus the cost of living isn't cheap good luck 2 ya
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You say your customers are very patient and loyal. That means you're doing a good job.
Get out there and get loads more custys and start rocking and rolling.
I know some days you just wanna throw the covers over your head and disappear
but the sun will be out soon, the shorts can go on and skirts will be getting shorter. ;D
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Bloodyhell H20 you must be raking in the doe, paying a £40,000 debt off in 2 years plus the cost of living isn't cheap good luck 2 ya
LOL - Thats probably the way it was written. My fault. cleared 40K in 10 years, not 2! lol
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I'm going to be contrary to some of the posts on here.
I say DON'T tell your customers.
My experience tells me that a fair number of customers will drop you if you tell them. I've not had depression but I was ill for quite a while many years ago due to the side effects of treatment medicines. Lost a big chunk of work over it even though I kept them informed and even though it was a temporary situation (well under a year). I say just let them carry on thinking that your back is a biot ropey at times. The other point about not telling them is that some may want to discuss it with you at times. This may not be the best thing psychologically if you're going through a phase of giving yourself positive affirmations.
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Find a Human Givens counsellor. They won't want to see you more than a handful of times and they will lift it. You DON'T have to live with this crippling illness. Call them today and see someone as soon as you can.
http://www.hgi.org.uk/register/index.htm
As I say, you won't be talking to them for months; that isn't what they do - they will help you to lift the depression quickly and let you go on your way.
Vin
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I was gonna say H20 crikey that's sum going pmsl !!! 👳👳👳👍🇬🇧
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Good post Samson. Fair play to you bud. Its one of those invisible conditions that is often dismissed. Sometimes peoples response is 'pull yourself together'. If someone is depressed they would pull themselves together if they could!
Crack on, but dont tell your customers. Once told you can't 'untell' them. And you dont know what they may do with that information. Keep with the back problem as your excuse.
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Hey Samson thanks for sharing mate.
Iam over my depression now but the first time I done window cleaning in mid 80s to late 90s I was the same as you.
Always telling custys porkies.
Sometimes I would drive to the first lot of custys of a morn and simply drive back home again and get in bed.
Being behind with my work depressed me yet the more I was depressed I was less likely to go to work.
Was just going around in circles gradually getting worse.
My heart goes out to you buddy,depression is a real terrible illness
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Thanks for all the positive comments fellas, I cope with downs now, and have learned not to turn in on myself.
A see a lot of people with far worse conditions than me, and my heart goes out to them.
The good thing about this job is the flexibility, when feeling low, but it is sometimes tiring when you are catching up !
If anyone is suffering at the moment, I would agree with the other posters advice, particularly talking therapy, you can get six sessions of CBT if you see your GP.
Three things have helped a lot -
1. Having understanding friends ( being able to speak freely )
2. Exercise - gets the good chemicals going
3.Giving up alcohol - struggled for many years, until finding the book " kicking the drink easily " by Jason vale, which probably saved my life, ( It was really easy ).
Sorry if I come across preachy, just wanted to encourage anyone suffering at the moment ;D
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This is a great post. Nice one everybody.
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Keep going Samson
My bi-polar makes life, never mind running a business, challenging.
Best advice is to ask/accept help from professionals who know what you are suffering they really can make a difference
best
Gordon
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great post indeed
fair play samson and pure great honesty . Im sure many of us could relate to you both especially when work is slack and from my own experience you start to feel down about things
depression is a disgraceful stigma and honest open posts and conversations like this are the best way to deal with that
fair play lads
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Its not easy mate but you are obviously doing well enough to run a business , Been through some difficult times myself and i have mate who went through a rough marriage break up
And it has taken him 3 years of ups and downs for him to get back to normal , But he got professional help and has had good support which has helped him through .
Best thing is is to seek help and try to be as honest and open as possible then you may not feel as burdened at times. Mike
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I get depression from diabetes it not always easy as things creep up on one. Before you know it you are down and I find folk not always understanding. They only understand when you hit them in the face with a wet fish. Empathy is not forth coming until you expose yourself. Why does one need to expose your illness before you get understanding. It says something about our society today
Its more inline to jump on one we perceive as weak in to days world.
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Thankyou to you all so much for contributing to this thread...
I suffer from Bipolar and have previously sold a van and round due to not being able to cope with the depression.
What a mistake that was, sitting in an office afterwards regretting it over and over.
Currently in "Manic" state plotting to take over the window cleaning world, mind whizzing with plans over and over doing the same calculations working out how much ill be earning all with a big grin on my face thinking how cunning I am.
I just hope that I dont crash any time soon and that when I do crash its not as bad as it has been before. i think it would destroy me. months of hard work undone by a few weeks of downers :-[
Does anybody else with Bipolar find that when in manic mode your business is at its most productive?
+ 1
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I'll be honest & say I've never suffered from a day of depression in my life - I've been extremely lucky,.. but all of my wifes family suffer from it very badly, especially this time of year (Today is the 4th anniversary of my mother in law passing).
Most of them fight against it - they have bad days, sometimes bad months, but they always work hard to get themselves back on their feet in time. I have great respect for these people who continue to fight.
My sister in law is different, she welcomes depression, wallows in it, embraces it and looks for more. She neglects her two young children badly - very badly,.. if it wasn't for her hubbys efforts to be a better dad than 99% of the guys I know, she would have been reported to child services by her own sister today. This is a kind of depression i don't understand - the selfishness, the constant self pity, constant trips to the GP (at least 3 times a week), constant attempts to get more/stronger meds, the many and varied side effects and illnesses caused by the meds - - is it very wrong and un-pc to not have any sympathy for her anymore? She's been this way for over 20 years, and is only getting worse. No one can get through to her,... because she simply doesn't want to get better. How can you deal with that?!
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best wishes mate.
ive also suffered from depression in the past.drug addiction and alcoholism.so i understand how awful it can be.
i still get mildly depressed from time to time but nothing like it used to be.years of taking ecstasy and cocaine and copious amounts of alcohol in my youth havent helped.
i find good food,exercise,NO alcohol or drugs at all keeps me pretty well mentally plus not isolating myself from friends and family although i still do from time to time.
we are all a few days behind due to the bad weather.dont worry about it.sitting in dwelling on it magnifies ALL your fears!
as long as your paying your bills be kind to yourself mate.talking to someone also helps but i know how hard it is to pick up the phone when your feeling low.its almost impossible!
very best wishes my friend
dazmond
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Know exactly where you are coming from without going in to to much detail.
Anyone who doesn't understand depression, anxiety etc, there is a VERY fine line and if you reach that point it is the worst feeling imaginable.
I always say the only thing i ever want is piece of mind, never mind sh--fulls of money
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well i think you sound pretty amazing and have probably put things into perspective for a lot of us. keep it up ;)
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Its amazing that Bi-Polar has come up.
I have all the symptoms but the quacks refuse to deal with the issue. I think i suffer from it.
But as they were not interested i decided to fix it myself.
Caffeine, fast food and beer make mine worse!
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Well done mate and good luck to you,my wife suffers with depression, so I know where your coming from.
One day my wife is so hyper and busy she does my head in,the following day,is so different,she has no confidence,and everything is a problem,some days she won't even answer the phone,or even answer the door,so if your still working fair play to you,you should be proud of yourself
Winston Churchill was a depressive,he used to call it living with black dog,there is also a book called living with the black dog
I wish you well
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Even with Bi-polar there is so many different types, I have had some terrific highs buying equipment, businesses, and then walking away when the low kicked in ( plenty of other stuff I darn't mention ) Lost a lot money over the years, but I have my dear wife,who knows how to curb my enthusiasm.
Like I said before the good thing about this business is the flexibility, and if you can ride out the lows, and keep going life is bearable.
It is encouraging seeing others on here who suffer, but carry on, think is good to share experiences as this can be a great motivator for others ;D
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know how you fill mate,has I my self suffer with depression and have really bad episode :(
you learn to cope with it and you know that the good will come after the bad days
keep working on it and keep talking to people who will listen to you.
try different things ie diet exercise etc ,healthy life style can help
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Keep going mate. I have been on citrolipram for two years due to depression. It all started back in 2008 when my ex had an affair after 8 years of marrige, then just as she left mr taxman says to me i owe him an extra 15 grand that i didnt account for and i need to pay it in 30 days, i then broke my arm and out of desperation sold the business, and lived off the money from the business and the house. When my arm got better i went on a self destructive bender, of parties, drugs and alcohol and hit rock bottom when my money ran out.
Then i started up the business again, found another girl got married, had two kids and have been dragging my life back together for the last 4 years. Still got debts to pay off, but im using that as a driving tool to push my business further than ever before.
Im happy now got two great kids and a good woman. Just 5 more years and ill be able to walk into a porshe delership and buy a new 911 turbo when i have atraned my goals of paying every penny back and taking the business to a level i always wanted to in the first place.
By the way i still have depression
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Depression is a terrible hidden illness that people don't know how to help someone with to begin with. A lot of people shy away from those suffering it. The best thing is to get them in a routine, talk with them frequently and let them know you care. Keep them occupied and get them out socialising with other people.
My girlfriend suffers from it after losing her eldest son, husband and father all within three years. I keep a smile on her face most of the time, keep talking with her and keep her occupied and socialising. She has bad times and good times and just accept her for the way she is. I keep throwing up little surprises for her and give her things to look forward to so it keeps her spirits up.
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Been a repeat sufferer over the years, Find myself in the company of black dog for no good reason. I have had it at times when all was otherwise well with the world. The only constant is that prior to an episode I have been digging out blind at either a relationship or a job or just going flat out at something for a long time. I have yet to see any warning signs, just wake up one morning an realise whast going on.. Then its a long haul back to feeling stable / normal.
There is a statistic somewhere that something like 95% of people will suffer from it to varying degrees during a lifetime..
Those who suffer think they are the only ones who have it , the response to this thread clearly demonstrates that this is not the case...
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Top post, Sampson; and all the others who've contributed.
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This is one of, if not the most, uplifting thread I have read on all my time on this forum. Well done to all of you guys who suffer from this terrible illness who have contributed so positively.
John
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Very interesting reading - thanks for sharing, brave posts
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samson, sadly there is still stigma out there regarding metal health issues however even something like this post can change minds, I lost someone close to me and was diagnosis with cancer and then depression about 6 years ago so have some idea of what its like
I have promised I will keep in touch and ask a friend or loved one how they are
http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/pledgewall#90952
(http://www.cleanitup.co.uk/smf/1393112052_1609663_10202901659764662_526048692_n.jpg)
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Good on you Samson !
Takes a lot of courage to speak about this....do you tell your customers the honest reason ??? I think you should ! Maybe just a little few words are needed after some delay in schedule & I bet they will respect you for it....hope things keep on the up for u & any others on here who suffer this pain in silence.
window cleaning trade can be a real get out from the pressures of working in a company but then come the challenges of working on your or pushing ourselves to achieve a better business !
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Great post guys. Respect to all!!
Does anyone else ever suffer from work anxiety? i.e. Wake up in the morning worrying about what order to do jobs in, how long they will take, adding up in your head the daily turnover, what time you will be finished etc...
I know it seems small in comparison to what some people must suffer but the above does my head in sometimes. Other days I'm fine and don't worry at all.
Andy
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Great post guys. Respect to all!!
Does anyone else ever suffer from work anxiety? i.e. Wake up in the morning worrying about what order to do jobs in, how long they will take, adding up in your head the daily turnover, what time you will be finished etc...
I know it seems small in comparison to what some people must suffer but the above does my head in sometimes. Other days I'm fine and don't worry at all.
Andy
I can relate to that. Sorting everything out the night before so that I know what I'm doing when I wake up cuts that anxiety in half.
And just try to do stuff one-job-at-a-time; get dressed, ablutions, breakfast, etc - and not be thinking three-jobs-in-front.
Another thing to realise that we do is that when there's something we WANT to do like go to the pictures, we break the task down like this:
1. Get in car.
2. Drive to pictures.
But when there's something we DON'T want to do we break the task down like this:
1. Got to look for car keys.
2. Got to find wallet.
3. Got to .............
4. Got to.................
5. Got to............
etc
etc
etc
You're describing a very common human experience here. Meditation can help with this too; it trains the mind to be more present, and not three-jobs-in-front all of the time. The problem is a 'wild mind'; tame it.
It's a less tiring way to live; anxiety - constant low level worrying - is tiring and drains us of energy.
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I can relate to that. Sorting everything out the night before so that I know what I'm doing when I wake up cuts that anxiety in half.
And just try to do stuff one-job-at-a-time; get dressed, ablutions, breakfast, etc - and not be thinking three-jobs-in-front.
Another thing to realise that we do is that when there's something we WANT to do like go to the pictures, we break the task down like this:
1. Get in car.
2. Drive to pictures.
But when there's something we DON'T want to do we break the task down like this:
1. Got to look for car keys.
2. Got to find wallet.
3. Got to .............
4. Got to.................
5. Got to............
etc
etc
etc
You're describing a very common human experience here. Meditation can help with this too; it trains the mind to be more present, and not three-jobs-in-front all of the time. The problem is a 'wild mind'; tame it.
It's a less tiring way to live; anxiety - constant low level worrying - is tiring and drains us of energy.
Thanks Tosh.
I never used to suffer from it and I do plan out every day the night before.
Andy :)
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Maybe have a butcher's at this then, Andy:
http://www.cleanitup.co.uk/smf/index.php?topic=182503.0
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I've had anxiety for a while now it kicked of proper over a year ago when I lost my dad iam always worrying about alsorts of things and thinking the worst I've had to go to a&e a couple of times with chest pains and they can never find anything wrong i do have tablets to hand to slow me down a bit if needed but very rarely take one it's brought on high blood pressure aswell so iam on tablets for that now the last couple of months I've really started to feel a lot better though pushing myself to work a bit harder every day and eating a bit better helps aswell
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Great thread everyone. Not going into detail, but I have periodically suffered from an incredibly destructive type of depression in the past. Anyone who survives, let alone gets out of their depression deserves our respect.
Take your pills, see your doc, take the counselling, CBT or whatever other constructive and positive things that help. Above all, learn to help yourself. Sometimes depression is circumstantial, sometimes it's chemical. Sometimes you can get out of it, sometimes you can't. There is no shame in depression anymore. Look how many bruisers and strapping blokes on here have had it!
Perhaps this thread will temper some of the more aggressive comments that I see made on here. You have NO idea what is happening in someone's day or life. Be polite. It doesn't cost you anything, but can save someone else a lot of mental anguish. :)
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I'll be honest & say I've never suffered from a day of depression in my life - I've been extremely lucky,.. but all of my wifes family suffer from it very badly, especially this time of year (Today is the 4th anniversary of my mother in law passing).
Most of them fight against it - they have bad days, sometimes bad months, but they always work hard to get themselves back on their feet in time. I have great respect for these people who continue to fight.
My sister in law is different, she welcomes depression, wallows in it, embraces it and looks for more. She neglects her two young children badly - very badly,.. if it wasn't for her hubbys efforts to be a better dad than 99% of the guys I know, she would have been reported to child services by her own sister today. This is a kind of depression i don't understand - the selfishness, the constant self pity, constant trips to the GP (at least 3 times a week), constant attempts to get more/stronger meds, the many and varied side effects and illnesses caused by the meds - - is it very wrong and un-pc to not have any sympathy for her anymore? She's been this way for over 20 years, and is only getting worse. No one can get through to her,... because she simply doesn't want to get better. How can you deal with that?!
Hi Nat. It's is perhaps un-PC to not have sympathy for your sister-in-law, but it is not wrong. It's immensely frustrating to be close to someone with depression who does not help their own condition. It is perhaps part of her depressive condition, to wallow, but eventually EVERYONE needs to begins to help themselves. Helping yourself can do more good than any pill, they just disguise the condition.
On the days when you feel you can help, help. But on the days when you can't, don't. That's all you can do mate.
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Great thread everyone. Not going into detail, but I have periodically suffered from an incredibly destructive type of depression in the past. Anyone who survives, let alone gets out of their depression deserves our respect.
Take your pills, see your doc, take the counselling, CBT or whatever other constructive and positive things that help. Above all, learn to help yourself. Sometimes depression is circumstantial, sometimes it's chemical. Sometimes you can get out of it, sometimes you can't. There is no shame in depression anymore. Look how many bruisers and strapping blokes on here have had it!
Perhaps this thread will temper some of the more aggressive comments that I see made on here. You have NO idea what is happening in someone's day or life. Be polite. It doesn't cost you anything, but can save someone else a lot of mental anguish. :)
Well said steve, regarding positive things you can do if any one is reading this post and is suffering then I can recommend a mindfulness courses, its the same of what google and apple offer there employees, http://www.dorset-mindfulness.co.uk/8-week-mbsr-courses http://www.mindfulnet.org/page9.htm and also transcendental meditation helps in a big way, nick clegg and william hague practised TM regularly
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Great thread everyone. Not going into detail, but I have periodically suffered from an incredibly destructive type of depression in the past. Anyone who survives, let alone gets out of their depression deserves our respect.
Take your pills, see your doc, take the counselling, CBT or whatever other constructive and positive things that help. Above all, learn to help yourself. Sometimes depression is circumstantial, sometimes it's chemical. Sometimes you can get out of it, sometimes you can't. There is no shame in depression anymore. Look how many bruisers and strapping blokes on here have had it!
Perhaps this thread will temper some of the more aggressive comments that I see made on here. You have NO idea what is happening in someone's day or life. Be polite. It doesn't cost you anything, but can save someone else a lot of mental anguish. :)
Well said steve, regarding positive things you can do if any one is reading this post and is suffering then I can recommend a mindfulness courses, its the same of what google and apple offer there employees, http://www.dorset-mindfulness.co.uk/8-week-mbsr-courses http://www.mindfulnet.org/page9.htm and also transcendental meditation helps in a big way, nick clegg and william hague practised TM regularly
Lols. The links are probably good but you ain't gonna get people clicking if it turns you in to Cleggy. He is a tool. ;D
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Great thread everyone. Not going into detail, but I have periodically suffered from an incredibly destructive type of depression in the past. Anyone who survives, let alone gets out of their depression deserves our respect.
Take your pills, see your doc, take the counselling, CBT or whatever other constructive and positive things that help. Above all, learn to help yourself. Sometimes depression is circumstantial, sometimes it's chemical. Sometimes you can get out of it, sometimes you can't. There is no shame in depression anymore. Look how many bruisers and strapping blokes on here have had it!
Perhaps this thread will temper some of the more aggressive comments that I see made on here. You have NO idea what is happening in someone's day or life. Be polite. It doesn't cost you anything, but can save someone else a lot of mental anguish. :)
Well said steve, regarding positive things you can do if any one is reading this post and is suffering then I can recommend a mindfulness courses, its the same of what google and apple offer there employees, http://www.dorset-mindfulness.co.uk/8-week-mbsr-courses http://www.mindfulnet.org/page9.htm and also transcendental meditation helps in a big way, nick clegg and william hague practised TM regularly
Lols. The links are probably good but you ain't gonna get people clicking if it turns you in to Cleggy. He is a tool. ;D
LOL you have a point aim not a lover of politicians but there well educated people and can see the benefits
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chin up and keep plodding on try and work job by job and not day by day , as sitiing in the van looking at work sheets don't help and befoure you know it you have been sat there for 30 mins that could of been to jobs done
not sure I would tell your customers as most people do not understand depression and think its just a case of puling yourself togather and we both know it goes a lot deeper then that
so tomorrow jump in your van/car and go to work , knowing your earning your own money and making your way in life and not having to thank anybody ,
take care
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Same boat as you Samson, you'll be surprised how common it really is!!
I got help last April, but think I've had it for a lot longer, took a time to get the meds right though.
Its only been the last month or so I've started to get a bit more normal. I started on flouxetine, Made it even worse, never want to go back there again. Then put me on sertraline, was ok'ish then doubled the dose.
I can now go out and work and not"count how many customers left" until i can get home and not have to talk to anyone.
I still can't get any interest in anything, hobbies, getting a girlfriend, even sex.
Your not on your own mate, but hang in there and you will get good days. This time last year i was in a very dark place, but can see some light now ;)
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Cracking post, and massive respect to all that have posted.... :)
Not depression, but had a few things happen years ago that set me off on a stress disorder....went through all the procedures but i wasn't ready to help myself if i'm honest.....i found that the only way to 'help' was to over focus on trivial things, therefore stopping myself thinking and dealing with what happened...
I wind myself up nowadays as even though now i'm getting back on track i still cant help overthinking stuff that i know i shouldnt....
To anyone reading this thread that is going through a bad place, my advice would be talk to someone....
I used to think to myself that i needed to 'man up' but it just took me to a darker place....
Let people help you and you're not alone :)
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good luck mate and well done for speaking up ,,its not an easy thing to speak out .
its been a month since one of best friends commited suicide due to depression and other things .
its a real curb ball when things go bad and its a reflection on view on life and how to cope with things when it really goes tits up.
as others have said , it will get better and i hope you manage it in every sense well . it just takes a bit of time and support from partners and good friends.
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Thank you to all who posted personal experiences, and I know it has encouraged me, and I hope others too.
I have always tried to help anyone who is going through a tough time, sometimes just having a listening ear, and not being judged can help.
If your a man don.t be ashamed to ask for help ( majority of suicides are men, as they dont find it as easy to talk as women ) and helping others can often help you cope.
Just got to say I am really impressed with the empathy shown by the members on this forum.
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Great thread.
One option to consider is working through some of the exercises on a website called Mood Gym.
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/
It is a a free self help program to teach cognitive behaviour therapy skills to people vulnerable to depression and anxiety.
Good luck
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Great thread.
One option to consider is working through some of the exercises on a website called Mood Gym.
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/
It is a a free self help program to teach cognitive behaviour therapy skills to people vulnerable to depression and anxiety.
Good luck
Mood gym is excellent Oliver, as is http://www.mind.org.uk/
If this thread helps just one person that has read it, we have all done something magical together.
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Is window cleaning depressing?
Seriously, working on your own, crap weather, non paying customers, dirty dog poope gardens etc.
I wonder if this job makes you depressed or does it attract depressed people?
I have ups and downs, varying levels of energy and normally dip about once a month for no particular reason. My wife however just seems to enjoy life no matter what is thrown at her.
I find with this job some customers make you laugh and the banter can be brilliant but on a bad day they all seem a bunch of moaning old gits.
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Nahh. Life is so complicated, and hard. Nothing is straightforward anymore.
Biggest challange i have is remembering to take my citrolipram. Miss a dose and your screwed up for days.
Id rather window clean then work in an office staring at a computer all day.
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Thank you to all who posted personal experiences, and I know it has encouraged me, and I hope others too.
I have always tried to help anyone who is going through a tough time, sometimes just having a listening ear, and not being judged can help.
If your a man don.t be ashamed to ask for help ( majority of suicides are men, as they dont find it as easy to talk as women ) and helping others can often help you cope.
Just got to say I am really impressed with the empathy shown by the members on this forum.
hey samson hearing ya mate
stopped taking cipralex 5 weeks ago fed up feeling like a zombie
felt like electric shocks in my head and bad mood swings aggresion/depression sleeplesness and mad dreams
dreamt last night i was at the docs getting new meds as i was so bad
woke up this morning and didnt know if it was real or a dream
then out on the glass for work
ya aint on your own mate its min by min sometimes but if ya aint had it ya really cant understand it
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Is window cleaning depressing?
Seriously, working on your own, crap weather, non paying customers, dirty dog poope gardens etc.
I wonder if this job makes you depressed or does it attract depressed people?
I have ups and downs, varying levels of energy and normally dip about once a month for no particular reason. My wife however just seems to enjoy life no matter what is thrown at her.
I find with this job some customers make you laugh and the banter can be brilliant but on a bad day they all seem a bunch of moaning old gits.
Look at it 'glass half full' Dave.
Working outside is infinitely better than being inside, even on a rainy day.
Think of the hourly rate compared to skill level.
And as for the moaning old gits, i always think to myself 'they'll still be miserable when i'm gone but i'll be happy as soon as they're out of my sight'
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suffered with it since i was a kid after a real messed up episode when i was a kid. went through most of my adult life a very deep person. Had a few bad episodes in my 20's real bad in fact. Ended up on meds for a few years and then my old work paid for me to attend the priory as things were really getting out of hand. moods, drugged up, booze, head an absolute mess, missing work, excuses for everything etc etc.
past few years been great since therapy but hitting big lull's now. Trying my best to pick myself up some days. ther days the darkness descends again.
living with the black dog is hard.
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Jesus, how many seriously depressed window cleaners are there? I didn't know it was that common.
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I thing window cleaning is not depressing but it can be lonely. The thing that could be depressing is the way some folk treat you with indifference.
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sounds like to me there's alot of great guys on here doing a bloody good job with life and problems it throws at them, some strong characters in the window cleaning industry, here's to a great year ahead.
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Window cleaning has a bad stigma attached to it sometimes. Working alone on a self employed basis is one of the downsides to this job. Being single, not in a relationship and having no family is a lot for some people to cope with as they are negative and thinking differently to the lucky ones who are married with children and kept busy so not left alone with their own thoughts, time on their hands and no one to keep them in a reality check. Just having someone close by to talk makes a huge difference.
I am a positive person with two disabilities who lives alone two days a week, the remainder of my time I support my girlfriend who has seriously bad outbursts of depression as she has had more than her fair share of tragedies in life. I see both sides of this depression topic
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Re the self employed thing. It doesn't help when you have this condition.
My depression tends to come with a bit of ocd too. If I have a lot of customers owing me money, and im on a down day I tend to keep checking my business acc, and it starts on a loop.
One time I had 30 customers all due to pay, and was only halfway through the week. On paper I had done in 2 days what a lot people would love to make in a week. Yet all I had was £90 to show for it that evening..
I got myself into a right panic, I checked the account I think 10 times in 40 mins, NOTHING in, this made my depression worse and started feeling closed in and worthless. My wife made me go to bed at 9pm I got into such a state.
Next day half those payments were in, and all that stress was over nothing. I felt really foolish and resliased I hadn't taken my pills the morning before.
so yes its a roller coaster.. its a reall chemical inbalance in the brain. Serotonin is the chemical that is to blame.
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For me window cleaning has been a sanity saver,i suffer with
obstructive sleep apnea which is tied into my stomach disorder
and has been pretty debillitating over the years,especially when
trying to hold down a 8-5 job at times left me a complete emotional
train wreck which was down to exhaustion.
Window cleaning has given me a way out,hours to suit the situation
and a decent income and things have naturally righted themselves.
Fairplay to you guys with clinical depression cant be easy,onwards
and upwards eh! :)
Anyways less of the sympathy lets suck it up ladies >:(
;D ;)
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"Those who suffer think they are the only ones who have it , the response to this thread clearly demonstrates that this is not the case..."
Brilliant thread, one in four suffer from depression at some time or other ( im one of them) according to official stats, but it feels very isolating, its great to see fellow windies sharing their burden. Dont be afraid to get help and always remember its not for ever , you WILL come through it.
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Jesus, how many seriously depressed window cleaners are there? I didn't know it was that common.
It's not just window cleaners, Dave, I think anti depressants are something like the world's 2nd most prescribed medicine, after statins.
I mix in some strange circles so meet a lot of folk who have issues with depression. Alcoholism and depression often go hand-in-hand too.
Anyway, have a look at this BBC News item; it says that people who undergo this course of therapy have a 50% chance of never suffering with depression again (at least that's how I heard it):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMsUGB_KV7s
Listen to the end.
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Re the self employed thing. It doesn't help when you have this condition.
My depression tends to come with a bit of ocd too. If I have a lot of customers owing me money, and im on a down day I tend to keep checking my business acc, and it starts on a loop.
One time I had 30 customers all due to pay, and was only halfway through the week. On paper I had done in 2 days what a lot people would love to make in a week. Yet all I had was £90 to show for it that evening..
I got myself into a right panic, I checked the account I think 10 times in 40 mins, NOTHING in, this made my depression worse and started feeling closed in and worthless. My wife made me go to bed at 9pm I got into such a state.
Next day half those payments were in, and all that stress was over nothing. I felt really foolish and resliased I hadn't taken my pills the morning before.
so yes its a roller coaster.. its a reall chemical inbalance in the brain. Serotonin is the chemical that is to blame.
I get exactly the same thing Marc it drives me round the bend some nights. The positive is that the next day it gives me a bit of drive to chase debts and work hard.
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very interesting thread this is on the forum.
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very interesting thread this is on the forum.
It is.
I missed it because I wasn't on here for a while. I'll have a proper read when I get time.
I feel really sorry for those that suffer with it.
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very interesting thread this is on the forum.
It is.
I missed it because I wasn't on here for a while. I'll have a proper read when I get time.
I feel really sorry for those that suffer with it.
And me mate, I say well done to all those shiners who battle this shocking condition.
I worked along side a printer who had terrible depression. He hid so well no one knew still think about him a lot, and I take my hat off to you all.
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while were all sharing...
I too have depression not had the easiest life so periodically the black dog appears from nowhere may hang around for a week or two or maybe several months.
I would honestly have a MASSIVE round if it was not for depression. Fortunately I seem to be quite a likeable chap because my customers seem to accept it when i drop off the radar for a bit, I have been honest with them they know its depression but as I said I have turned over some work in my 13 years of window cleaning.
mainly due to being awol so long (in my head) i was too embarrassed to show my face again.
so i lost a pocket of work here or there gain new work the cycle continues...
I have drove 30 miles to work gone round the roundabout and come straight home more times than i would like to admit, but as I say as the black dog came from absoluely nowhere after what i call a "ten year event" a particuarly bad period of depression I had'nt suffered for about a decade ;D it went all of a sudden too!
You dont know how encouraging this is to know im not the only one. Anyway chin up lads summers on the way. all the best to everyone! :)
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By the way SAMSON have you had a haircut lately? this may be why you have lost your strength :D
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By the way SAMSON have you had a haircut lately? this may be why you have lost your strength :D
I don't have much hair now, but I can relate to your experiences. I have been feeling really good lately, so I try and make the most of it before a down time.
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By the way SAMSON have you had a haircut lately? this may be why you have lost your strength :D
I don't have much hair now, but I can relate to your experiences. I have been feeling really good lately, so I try and make the most of it before a down time.
yes me too, have to eat all the salmon we can before hibernation.
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To all people who do suffer with depression it takes balls to come out and say it. So with customers its easy to explain to them about it so they know how you feel.
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I always go for a jog to free the mind up a bit so always putting custies on 3 strike oand there out situations got rid of 2 today.
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by having routine and things organised and some kind of structure helps big time. Exercise is a fantastic aid also.
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I always go for a jog to free the mind up a bit so always putting custies on 3 strike oand there out situations got rid of 2 today.
That is good advice, I used to let awkward custies get to me, and I would get really low. If I get a sniff of a trouble causer now they are fired ;D
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samson
2 years ago almost to the date, I sat at home and decided how i was going to commit suicide.
I knew how, when and where I was going to do it after researching it online ! I was that bad, however I had a little voice in my head that said what will this do to your kids ?
After several hours,trying to make a decision, thankfully I made the right one. I called a mate who was a wc in desperation and after talking to him decided on a change of career ( previously had my own company earning £80k ) but couldnt cope with life.
I looked down on windies but decided to swallow my pride. After a lot of hard work, I have a great business working the top end of the market, celebs etc. It took months and so much hard work to get these customers but its worth it.
I have had depression for over 30 years, but can honestly say this was the best decision I have ever made. I love my job. i love going to work and for the first time in years i enjoy work.
Dont get me wrong I have some bad bad days but I force myself up and do as much as posible, Some days I can only do 1 or 2 customers before I have to go home. But 1 or 2 is better than nothing.
I believe in a few years I will earning as much as before buts its not the money, I just love what I do.
Keep going mate, goodness knows I know the depths of depression. Contact me for a chat anytime
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Thank you to all who have contributed to this, it does help a lot, as often what I'm reading is windies working 12 hours a day, earning many, many hundreds of pounds and comparing to my own efforts only serves to dampen my already fragile self.
Nearly two years ago I suffered a seemingly innocuous back injury in the morning before work, but went to work anyway - trad. That was a mistake, as was the ineffective NHS physiotherapy afterwards. Private physiotherapy helped a lot but using the same muscles walking up and down ladders meant they were never given a chance to heal, and I was never going to be able to earn enough money for us to get by, let alone be comfortable.
I suffered with insomnia because of the spiralling debts, and was having almost daily anxiety attacks, which I learnt to recognise and calm down before they got too bad. Major mood swings from angry to sad. A vicious cycle. I had a real problem with not being able to switch my mind off, and being three steps or jobs ahead mentioned earlier in this thread is very familiar to me and only made the anxiety worse. I didn't want friends and family seeing me like this, so stopped meeting up with them, and when my wife and kids went out, I'd make excuses not to go with them. I used to have around 250 customers, aiming for at least 300, but gave some away to my brother in law and stopped going back to others - similar to others on here, too embarrassed to turn up after being awol for so long, despite them all knowing about my back problems - I did let them all know back when it first happened.
I didn't know it was called the 'black dog' but I know all too well about its existence and know very well about turning around and going home. Or not being able to get out of the house - mine was usually late morning or even lunchtime, and I still suffer from this sometimes. If I'd made phone calls or texts the night before, it was an extremely rare occasion that I didn't turn up though.
I am very, very lucky to have family that were able to loan me money to change to WFP back in January so that I could work and continue to heal. I do still have around 140 customers, and most of these I have been cleaning for many years and get on with them really well. They have been extremely patient with me, and when they ask how my back is, I always thank them for sticking by me. The grind of all those first cleans was extremely hard mentally but thankfully I'm nearly there, now mixing first cleans with maintenance cleans so my daily earnings increase. I did more work in one week in March than I did in any month since June 2012, and that gives me a real sense of pride in how far I've come. I also recently managed to earn over £100 in one day again - a mixture of first cleans and maintenance cleans WFP, another milestone. I purposefully take as much heart from these baby steps as I can, as I know any slight setback hits me really, really hard - like buying a pig (or should that be black dog) of a van costing me 6 weeks off work or having two injectors go on my current van, costing me 3 days off work. Vehicles do have problems, and a couple of days would normally be ok, but where I am mentally, it's a tough fight to stop it getting you down.
Despite me wanting to concentrate on being a reliable and regular (every time I say this to my customers I always imagine I'm comparing myself to having a pooh!) windie to my current customers, I keep getting calls and recommendations for new work, so my business is growing again, organically. Again, take heart from the little things.
Call me stubborn, but despite efforts from my family, I didn't visit my GP for pills, not realising it might have been depression until around a year ago, I wanted/want to beat this on my own, though I realise it may take longer. But I am sometimes able to take a mental step back, see where I'm going wrong in my head space, and take an active decision to change it, though carrying this out is often very hard.
We've just gotten back from a great break in Kent (it's also been a great weekend for just being in the garden, or outside in general) and I'm about to start making phone calls about work tomorrow. Despite the work I've done these last two months, we're still overdrawn and with other debts, but it's not affecting me mentally as I know I CAN pay them off, especially now the weather's improving.
All the best CBWC I can relate to alot of this, Im feeling good at the moment and really enjoying life keep positive :)
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FAO: CBWC
keep your family & friends aware of how you're coping with your depression, even when you are out of it. It can come back anytime and having friends and family to share your anxiety with can benefit you and stop you doing some stupid things. Keep focused and positive. Book your customers work the evening prior to work so you commit yourself to others depending on you thus keeping you in a positive normal routine so the indecisive option of having a day off because you're feeling low is taken out of your hands as you commit to others to turn up and be relied upon.
-
Thank you to all who have contributed to this, it does help a lot, as often what I'm reading is windies working 12 hours a day, earning many, many hundreds of pounds and comparing to my own efforts only serves to dampen my already fragile self.
Nearly two years ago I suffered a seemingly innocuous back injury in the morning before work, but went to work anyway - trad. That was a mistake, as was the ineffective NHS physiotherapy afterwards. Private physiotherapy helped a lot but using the same muscles walking up and down ladders meant they were never given a chance to heal, and I was never going to be able to earn enough money for us to get by, let alone be comfortable.
I suffered with insomnia because of the spiralling debts, and was having almost daily anxiety attacks, which I learnt to recognise and calm down before they got too bad. Major mood swings from angry to sad. A vicious cycle. I had a real problem with not being able to switch my mind off, and being three steps or jobs ahead mentioned earlier in this thread is very familiar to me and only made the anxiety worse. I didn't want friends and family seeing me like this, so stopped meeting up with them, and when my wife and kids went out, I'd make excuses not to go with them. I used to have around 250 customers, aiming for at least 300, but gave some away to my brother in law and stopped going back to others - similar to others on here, too embarrassed to turn up after being awol for so long, despite them all knowing about my back problems - I did let them all know back when it first happened.
I didn't know it was called the 'black dog' but I know all too well about its existence and know very well about turning around and going home. Or not being able to get out of the house - mine was usually late morning or even lunchtime, and I still suffer from this sometimes. If I'd made phone calls or texts the night before, it was an extremely rare occasion that I didn't turn up though.
I am very, very lucky to have family that were able to loan me money to change to WFP back in January so that I could work and continue to heal. I do still have around 140 customers, and most of these I have been cleaning for many years and get on with them really well. They have been extremely patient with me, and when they ask how my back is, I always thank them for sticking by me. The grind of all those first cleans was extremely hard mentally but thankfully I'm nearly there, now mixing first cleans with maintenance cleans so my daily earnings increase. I did more work in one week in March than I did in any month since June 2012, and that gives me a real sense of pride in how far I've come. I also recently managed to earn over £100 in one day again - a mixture of first cleans and maintenance cleans WFP, another milestone. I purposefully take as much heart from these baby steps as I can, as I know any slight setback hits me really, really hard - like buying a pig (or should that be black dog) of a van costing me 6 weeks off work or having two injectors go on my current van, costing me 3 days off work. Vehicles do have problems, and a couple of days would normally be ok, but where I am mentally, it's a tough fight to stop it getting you down.
Despite me wanting to concentrate on being a reliable and regular (every time I say this to my customers I always imagine I'm comparing myself to having a pooh!) windie to my current customers, I keep getting calls and recommendations for new work, so my business is growing again, organically. Again, take heart from the little things.
Call me stubborn, but despite efforts from my family, I didn't visit my GP for pills, not realising it might have been depression until around a year ago, I wanted/want to beat this on my own, though I realise it may take longer. But I am sometimes able to take a mental step back, see where I'm going wrong in my head space, and take an active decision to change it, though carrying this out is often very hard.
We've just gotten back from a great break in Kent (it's also been a great weekend for just being in the garden, or outside in general) and I'm about to start making phone calls about work tomorrow. Despite the work I've done these last two months, we're still overdrawn and with other debts, but it's not affecting me mentally as I know I CAN pay them off, especially now the weather's improving.
what a great post!!! well done mate, you can be proud of yourself! pay my respects!
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FAO: CBWC
keep your family & friends aware of how you're coping with your depression, even when you are out of it. It can come back anytime and having friends and family to share your anxiety with can benefit you and stop you doing some stupid things. Keep focused and positive. Book your customers work the evening prior to work so you commit yourself to others depending on you thus keeping you in a positive normal routine so the indecisive option of having a day off because you're feeling low is taken out of your hands as you commit to others to turn up and be relied upon.
This is exactly why I give my customers a next clean date, on the bills I leave as it helps with my motivation; and minimises the black dog appearing.
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FAO: CBWC
keep your family & friends aware of how you're coping with your depression, even when you are out of it. It can come back anytime and having friends and family to share your anxiety with can benefit you and stop you doing some stupid things. Keep focused and positive. Book your customers work the evening prior to work so you commit yourself to others depending on you thus keeping you in a positive normal routine so the indecisive option of having a day off because you're feeling low is taken out of your hands as you commit to others to turn up and be relied upon.
This is exactly why I give my customers a next clean date, on the bills I leave as it helps with my motivation; and minimises the black dog appearing.
That method makes more sense now Marc. I had wondered how you managed to run your business that way. I can understand it if it's only a small percentage (e.g. behind large electric gates) but sounds impractical for ALL jobs. For me such a system would take away the best bit about this work - the flexi time. But I can see that some would need the dates set out to give them the kick to get to the jobs. Only three of my jobs get the "next date" treatment. They are three larger jobs, in relatively close proximity to each other, that I do all on the same day. Two of them are behind electric gates. The third is a guest house type of arrangement where the guests need to be told to leave the sashed windows closed if going out (the house rules prohibit entering the rooms without the guest present).
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Yeah. I also have o c d. So as long I know exactly what I'm doing, im comfortable. I can pull off data from my database and know exactly the date of a customers window clean any time up to 2040.
And 99 percent if the time I'm dead on. And they are expecting me. Gates open, ready to go.
Think I'm a bit mental, I'm slowly realising this over the last 15 months.
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Thank you to all who have contributed to this, it does help a lot, as often what I'm reading is windies working 12 hours a day, earning many, many hundreds of pounds and comparing to my own efforts only serves to dampen my already fragile self.
Nearly two years ago I suffered a seemingly innocuous back injury in the morning before work, but went to work anyway - trad. That was a mistake, as was the ineffective NHS physiotherapy afterwards. Private physiotherapy helped a lot but using the same muscles walking up and down ladders meant they were never given a chance to heal, and I was never going to be able to earn enough money for us to get by, let alone be comfortable.
I suffered with insomnia because of the spiralling debts, and was having almost daily anxiety attacks, which I learnt to recognise and calm down before they got too bad. Major mood swings from angry to sad. A vicious cycle. I had a real problem with not being able to switch my mind off, and being three steps or jobs ahead mentioned earlier in this thread is very familiar to me and only made the anxiety worse. I didn't want friends and family seeing me like this, so stopped meeting up with them, and when my wife and kids went out, I'd make excuses not to go with them. I used to have around 250 customers, aiming for at least 300, but gave some away to my brother in law and stopped going back to others - similar to others on here, too embarrassed to turn up after being awol for so long, despite them all knowing about my back problems - I did let them all know back when it first happened.
I didn't know it was called the 'black dog' but I know all too well about its existence and know very well about turning around and going home. Or not being able to get out of the house - mine was usually late morning or even lunchtime, and I still suffer from this sometimes. If I'd made phone calls or texts the night before, it was an extremely rare occasion that I didn't turn up though.
I am very, very lucky to have family that were able to loan me money to change to WFP back in January so that I could work and continue to heal. I do still have around 140 customers, and most of these I have been cleaning for many years and get on with them really well. They have been extremely patient with me, and when they ask how my back is, I always thank them for sticking by me. The grind of all those first cleans was extremely hard mentally but thankfully I'm nearly there, now mixing first cleans with maintenance cleans so my daily earnings increase. I did more work in one week in March than I did in any month since June 2012, and that gives me a real sense of pride in how far I've come. I also recently managed to earn over £100 in one day again - a mixture of first cleans and maintenance cleans WFP, another milestone. I purposefully take as much heart from these baby steps as I can, as I know any slight setback hits me really, really hard - like buying a pig (or should that be black dog) of a van costing me 6 weeks off work or having two injectors go on my current van, costing me 3 days off work. Vehicles do have problems, and a couple of days would normally be ok, but where I am mentally, it's a tough fight to stop it getting you down.
Despite me wanting to concentrate on being a reliable and regular (every time I say this to my customers I always imagine I'm comparing myself to having a pooh!) windie to my current customers, I keep getting calls and recommendations for new work, so my business is growing again, organically. Again, take heart from the little things.
Call me stubborn, but despite efforts from my family, I didn't visit my GP for pills, not realising it might have been depression until around a year ago, I wanted/want to beat this on my own, though I realise it may take longer. But I am sometimes able to take a mental step back, see where I'm going wrong in my head space, and take an active decision to change it, though carrying this out is often very hard.
We've just gotten back from a great break in Kent (it's also been a great weekend for just being in the garden, or outside in general) and I'm about to start making phone calls about work tomorrow. Despite the work I've done these last two months, we're still overdrawn and with other debts, but it's not affecting me mentally as I know I CAN pay them off, especially now the weather's improving.
A very humbling post. Good luck with it.
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forgot all about this topic.
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Have had depression for 10 years I've been ok the last 6 months until 1 day last week and today, didn't go to work today, I'm in the process of building a round back up as I sold up last year after I hit a brick wall it was either sell it or lose it, tbh the tears came when I saw this pop up on the forum about an hour ago as I've been sat today wondering should I just get it over with and end the pain(blunt but honest) but I've got my daughter's and knowing what hurt it will cause them is what keeps me fighting to get past it, They were 2 and 6months old when my wife left 3 years ago coz she ccouldn't cope with my depression anymore, it took me 2 years to get over not living with my kids anymore I see them twice a week now I've had to accept that but it was really hard, reading through these posts has given me a boost so I'm going to have an early night and get up and out early in morning and keep fighting ;)
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Have had depression for 10 years I've been ok the last 6 months until 1 day last week and today, didn't go to work today, I'm in the process of building a round back up as I sold up last year after I hit a brick wall it was either sell it or lose it, tbh the tears came when I saw this pop up on the forum about an hour ago as I've been sat today wondering should I just get it over with and end the pain(blunt but honest) but I've got my daughter's and knowing what hurt it will cause them is what keeps me fighting to get past it, They were 2 and 6months old when my wife left 3 years ago coz she ccouldn't cope with my depression anymore, it took me 2 years to get over not living with my kids anymore I see them twice a week now I've had to accept that but it was really hard, reading through these posts has given me a boost so I'm going to have an early night and get up and out early in morning and keep fighting ;)
Good luck with your fight Clarkey. It WILL get better!
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by having routine and things organised and some kind of structure helps big time. Exercise is a fantastic aid also.
this defo works for milder forms of depression for sure.
the more time you have off work procrastinating the more depressed you get IME!
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Have had depression for 10 years I've been ok the last 6 months until 1 day last week and today, didn't go to work today, I'm in the process of building a round back up as I sold up last year after I hit a brick wall it was either sell it or lose it, tbh the tears came when I saw this pop up on the forum about an hour ago as I've been sat today wondering should I just get it over with and end the pain(blunt but honest) but I've got my daughter's and knowing what hurt it will cause them is what keeps me fighting to get past it, They were 2 and 6months old when my wife left 3 years ago coz she ccouldn't cope with my depression anymore, it took me 2 years to get over not living with my kids anymore I see them twice a week now I've had to accept that but it was really hard, reading through these posts has given me a boost so I'm going to have an early night and get up and out early in morning and keep fighting ;)
Good luck with your fight Clarkey. It WILL get better!
Cheers I know it WILL ;)
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by having routine and things organised and some kind of structure helps big time. Exercise is a fantastic aid also.
this defo works for milder forms of depression for sure.
the more time you have off work procrastinating the more depressed you get IME!
I've arranged to go to gym tomorrow evening ;)
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have just read this thread, respect to all.
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. Remember to put the glass down!
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Yeah. I also have o c d. So as long I know exactly what I'm doing, im comfortable. I can pull off data from my database and know exactly the date of a customers window clean any time up to 2040.
And 99 percent if the time I'm dead on. And they are expecting me. Gates open, ready to go.
Think I'm a bit mental, I'm slowly realising this over the last 15 months.
You have to know yourself though and do whatever works for you. Even if its a bit mental, once it works its all good.
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have just read this thread, respect to all.
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. Remember to put the glass down!
Makes sense, I do try to do this and have succeeded in the past but lately it's been 1 thing after another going wrong and I suppose I've let it get the better of me.
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I don't know if im depressed, not been to the doc or ever spoke about it. if I am its not as bad as what some have described , I find myself sitting in the van a lot smoking and il say to myself just one more fAg and il get started. sometimes I don't get started other times I pull myself together and do a half decent days work. I know something is wrong as earnings are slipping as im not completing all my work.
I don't fully understand depression and like I said not sure if I suffer or not, but on the whole im a happy person at home and look after my children without trouble or complaint. il add that the smoking thing is a secret, don't smoke at home and other half don't know about it which I suppose is weired for a grown man to keep secret.
all the best to all that have shared on this subject
steve
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I don't know if im depressed, not been to the doc or ever spoke about it. if I am its not as bad as what some have described , I find myself sitting in the van a lot smoking and il say to myself just one more fAg and il get started. sometimes I don't get started other times I pull myself together and do a half decent days work. I know something is wrong as earnings are slipping as im not completing all my work.
I don't fully understand depression and like I said not sure if I suffer or not, but on the whole im a happy person at home and look after my children without trouble or complaint. il add that the smoking thing is a secret, don't smoke at home and other half don't know about it which I suppose is weired for a grown man to keep secret.
all the best to all that have shared on this subject
steve
I would say that your just fed up, window cleaning can be very monotonous work and it can also be very lonely work.
I know some on here would say well if your lonely then employ, but if your not making enough money because your not
focused then you wont be in the position to employ.
Another problem is that some people just don't take to being self employed, they can work fine for other people but
struggle to self motivate.
Not an expert but I would say if you where suffering from depression it would follow you home as I don't think its
something you just experience while out working.
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I don't know if im depressed, not been to the doc or ever spoke about it. if I am its not as bad as what some have described , I find myself sitting in the van a lot smoking and il say to myself just one more fAg and il get started. sometimes I don't get started other times I pull myself together and do a half decent days work. I know something is wrong as earnings are slipping as im not completing all my work.
I don't fully understand depression and like I said not sure if I suffer or not, but on the whole im a happy person at home and look after my children without trouble or complaint. il add that the smoking thing is a secret, don't smoke at home and other half don't know about it which I suppose is weired for a grown man to keep secret.
all the best to all that have shared on this subject
steve
That sounds like me some days and I don't think it has anything to do with proper depression. I also don't think it's that unusual and for myself I put it down to laziness which isn't a beat yourself up type of thing. Personally, I think laziness is very natural - well it is for me. Either it's that or good old fashioned and very common procrastination which is still not a beat yourself up over type of thing. I don't think that any pulling together of yourself is needed. What I do now is to open the van door without thinking about it and get out and start doing just that one job as if I'm on remote control.
Reading this thread has been a bit of an eye opener for me. Depression, thank god, is never something I've suffered from. I know depression and the like is very real and debilitating as well as just miserable for the person suffering it and it can sometimes lead to dire consequences but I never really associated that with any who post on here. Why, I don't know. It's made me think though as you never know what is behind the mask that some people wear in front of others.
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I don't know if im depressed, not been to the doc or ever spoke about it. if I am its not as bad as what some have described , I find myself sitting in the van a lot smoking and il say to myself just one more fAg and il get started. sometimes I don't get started other times I pull myself together and do a half decent days work. I know something is wrong as earnings are slipping as im not completing all my work.
I don't fully understand depression and like I said not sure if I suffer or not, but on the whole im a happy person at home and look after my children without trouble or complaint. il add that the smoking thing is a secret, don't smoke at home and other half don't know about it which I suppose is weired for a grown man to keep secret.
all the best to all that have shared on this subject
steve
sounds awful steve.i used to do that years ago when 100% trad.smoking,usually hungover,work well behind schedule,earnings suffering etc,etc.
i must admit ive not sat in the van longer than 30 mins(lunch)for a long long time.
i no longer smoke or drink.im a lot fitter than i was in my 20s-30s and lots of work to clean.
in fact i struggle to stay in the van 30 mins for lunch as im itching to get back at it after 20 mins! ;D
ive come full circle and i put it down to a few things
1.clean,healthier lifestyle
2.WFP
3.round software.i always have a schedule for the day and 99% of the time i stick to it and complete it.
ive just got a very strong drive and self motivation.i love earning the money and being out in the fresh air.seeing customers and generally being out and about.
in fact im at the other end of the scale now as i dont like taking a day off if ive got work due!
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I don't know if im depressed, not been to the doc or ever spoke about it. if I am its not as bad as what some have described , I find myself sitting in the van a lot smoking and il say to myself just one more fAg and il get started. sometimes I don't get started other times I pull myself together and do a half decent days work. I know something is wrong as earnings are slipping as im not completing all my work.
I don't fully understand depression and like I said not sure if I suffer or not, but on the whole im a happy person at home and look after my children without trouble or complaint. il add that the smoking thing is a secret, don't smoke at home and other half don't know about it which I suppose is weired for a grown man to keep secret.
all the best to all that have shared on this subject
steve
I would say that you are probably just a secret smoker.
There was a similar case on TV years ago where a man would creep downstairs and indulge his secret hidden lemonade drinking.
He was addicted to R White's?.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hro4AdTYiTA
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I don't know if im depressed, not been to the doc or ever spoke about it. if I am its not as bad as what some have described , I find myself sitting in the van a lot smoking and il say to myself just one more fAg and il get started. sometimes I don't get started other times I pull myself together and do a half decent days work. I know something is wrong as earnings are slipping as im not completing all my work.
I don't fully understand depression and like I said not sure if I suffer or not, but on the whole im a happy person at home and look after my children without trouble or complaint. il add that the smoking thing is a secret, don't smoke at home and other half don't know about it which I suppose is weired for a grown man to keep secret.
all the best to all that have shared on this subject
steve
I would say that you are probably just a secret smoker.
There was a similar case on TV years ago where a man would creep downstairs and indulge his secret hidden lemonade drinking.
He was addicted to R White's?.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hro4AdTYiTA
made me laugh! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I'm just reading this book about depression:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shoot-Damn-Dog-Memoir-Depression/dp/0747572453
It's pretty good; really enjoying it. I don't suffer with depression, but I have to cope with some miserable gimps and this helps give me an insight.
But it'd probably be more use for those who suffer with depression.
(Just joking about the 'miserable gimps' thing; now chin up and pull yourself together).
No really, the book is good. I'm an alcoholic - so I've not been the epitome of stability myself - however alcoholics are the Elite when it comes to mental health problems.
Thanks for letting me share.
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I'm just reading this book about depression:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shoot-Damn-Dog-Memoir-Depression/dp/0747572453
It's pretty good; really enjoying it. I don't suffer with depression, but I have to cope with some miserable gimps and this helps give me an insight.
But it'd probably be more use for those who suffer with depression.
(Just joking about the 'miserable gimps' thing; now chin up and pull yourself together).
No really, the book is good. I'm an alcoholic - so I've not been the epitome of stability myself - however alcoholics are the Elite when it comes to mental health problems.
Thanks for letting me share.
I'll have a look at that book thanks tosh :)
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you got an email address that I can contact you on Clarkey?
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you got an email address that I can contact you on Clarkey?
robert.clarke80@live.co.uk
Thanks hector :)
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I am a diabetic and due to nerve damage and medication I do suffer with depression and do not cope very well with stress. After many years of high power businessman, its very difficult to accepting being unable to cope. People seam to think you have not brains and are some type of fool if you have depression. All one needs from folk is respect and not a being patronized. A patronizing attitude can leave one feeling more useless than ever.
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I am a diabetic and due to nerve damage and medication I do suffer with depression and do not cope very well with stress. After many years of high power businessman, its very difficult to accepting being unable to cope. People seam to think you have not brains and are some type of fool if you have depression. All one needs from folk is respect and not a being patronized. A patronizing attitude can leave one feeling more useless than ever.
I'm at a point now where I've stopped caring what people think I've had to get that attitude as I was getting down all the time thinking I was letting them down when really it was the other way around
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That`s the point I have reached.
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I am a diabetic and due to nerve damage and medication I do suffer with depression and do not cope very well with stress. After many years of high power businessman, its very difficult to accepting being unable to cope. People seam to think you have not brains and are some type of fool if you have depression. All one needs from folk is respect and not a being patronized. A patronizing attitude can leave one feeling more useless than ever.
It's commonly known that Winston Churchill suffered with depression - he called it his 'black dog' - and many consider him to be one of Britain's finest.
I also think attitudes towards mental health problems are changing. People are more open about them, there's less stigma, and there's help out there. I'm always open about my alcoholism - I am not ashamed of who I am - and I've rarely ever had any negative feedback (maybe once); but that was their problem, not mine (my Mum mostly; she thinks alkies are worthless scum who deserve to die in gutters ;D).
I liked the book I recommended because the lady was a 'seeker'; she put some effort into her recovery and looked in many different places for help. I think that's important; what may help one particular individual, may not help another. She even looked for help and advice from recovered alcoholics and Buddhism (which can be a psychiatry, rather than a religion).
There's a shed load of books on the subject of both depression and happiness; happiness is definitely a skill and not purely dependant on how much we've got in our bank accounts, how pretty our wife is, how big our house is, what clothes we wear (etc). In fact many people who've got all these things in abundance still commit suicide.
Anyway, I'm getting off the point; my point is that your perception of what people think of depression and what you think people think about people who suffer with depression could be two different things.
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Oh, just to add, it was once pointed out to me that if I'm having suicidal thoughts, that means I'm suicidal. That's all there is to it (I thought there was more ;D).
If that's the case, some really good advice is to see your GP. There's nothing wrong with happy pills - they can help get someone to a more even keel - so they can find a proper long-term solution. Your GP can also refer you to counselling and some other stuff, like mindfulness courses.
The thing about suicide is that it's just a bit final. An A.A. cliche is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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Oh, just to add, it was once pointed out to me that if I'm having suicidal thoughts, that means I'm suicidal. That's all there is to it (I thought there was more ;D).
If that's the case, some really good advice is to see your GP. There's nothing wrong with happy pills - they can help get someone to a more even keel - so they can find a proper long-term solution. Your GP can also refer you to counselling and some other stuff, like mindfulness courses.
The thing about suicide is that it's just a bit final. An A.A. cliche is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I think keeping that hope is key lose hope and it gets dangerous I know as I was there earlier this year, luckily for me I did have my mam to help me through it and believe me I've put her through the mill in the past.
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Spot on, Clarkey, without hope, we're hopeless!
Here, this guy always usually gives some good advice; don't be put off by what he's wearing - there's nothing 'woo woo' about what he says:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fixvb3s25Uk&list=PL8BBF1F6213CE8C48
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email sent to you Clarkey.
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i no longer smoke or drink.im a lot fitter than i was in my 20s-30s and lots of work to clean.
Can I just point out that I know someone very well who regularly runs marathons and is fit as a butcher's dog, yet suffers with depression.
Health and well-being don't automatically go together. We can be very healthy, but not well in our being. But we can be unhealthy - ill even - and yet be well in our being.
Well-being is, however, possible in all circumstances.
This person says that exercise helps with their depression though.
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i no longer smoke or drink.im a lot fitter than i was in my 20s-30s and lots of work to clean.
'
Can I just point out that I know someone very well who regularly runs marathons and is fit as a butcher's dog, yet suffers with depression.
Health and well-being don't automatically go together. We can be very healthy, but not well in our being. But we can be unhealthy - ill even - and yet be well in our being.
Well-being is, however, possible in all circumstances.
This person says that exercise helps with their depression though.
Exercise definitely does help me I'm at gym tonight withmy gf, iI was at gym regularly in last few months but slacked off due to tennis elbow, in hindsight I should of just done cardio bike, treadmill etc
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Funny how many people suffer with depression. I have suffered for as long as i remember with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and ocd. I have been on and off pills since a teenager, tried all sorts of therapy. im 32 now. It got to an all time low when my ex left me about a year ago, i had several visits to A&E with suspected heart attacks which i know to be panic attacks, lost my kids and my home ended up back at my parents. I know what its like to get up everyday and just being stuck in your head, thoughts going round and round. even to this day tears come easily, im very emotional and easily angry or upset.
BUT im convinced having gone through all this pain i will become such a strong individual that i will succeed greatly in my self employed journey, ive only just begun but i cannot explain the drive and will to survive being at the bottom of the barrell produces. It goes back to that survival instinct, each day i feel bad now i listen to motivational stuff and remind myself this pain is building my character that people who havent experienced the torment of depression cannot dream of growing as strong as i can.
Depression is a f***ing horrible affliction, but use it, draw from the pain, every tear, every tormented though, use it. we only grow through pain, if you can survive depression you can do ANYTHING
:)
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BUT im convinced having gone through all this pain i will become such a strong individual that i will succeed greatly in my self employed journey,
Many recovered alcoholics consider their rock bottoms to be a gift (on reflection obviously; not at the time). A 'rock bottom' in religious language can be called a 'dark night of the soul', and again they can be considered a gift.
Richard Rohr a Franciscan Priest often talks about 'hard times' being a gift - about how they can strip away the ego and show us another way. I'm not religious myself, I'm an atheist - so don't think I'm pushing God - but I like what he has to say on the subject.
Here; it's two minutes long...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4og_LyEsiN0
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Well, due to my depression, i have read lots of philosophy and ideas on life.
Basically everything in life has an opposite, positive/negative, dark/light, night day, good/bad, north/south, left/right etc ect
without one there can not be the other,its impossible, without having a reference point from bad you cant have good, this is a universal law found in nature, everything has its season, spring/summer/autumn/winter, life, death etc
the opposite of depression is expression, when you are depressed you are literally depressing emotions, bottling up and going inside yourself. that is why exercise helps, movement of the body, shaking, vibrating, yelling, screaming are all outlets of expression.
Anyway it is true the harder you get hit the better you get at dealing with hits, it develops a weird determination that cannot be built any other way, its do or die, fight or flight. discomfort is literally training you to deal with discomfort you are practicing being uncomfortable, view each obstacle in your path to grow, let pain be your friend it is helping you to grow. we go to the gym and go thru pain to grow our muscles.
One cannot know true pleasure without knowing pain, pray for challenges guys ;D
Couple of my fav you tube guys are...
Eric Thomas for motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJHo6DsJJMs
Elliot Hulse for philosophy/thebody/emotion n thoughts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4Ko32D5ALw
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get a drum kit and join a band!great therapy!works for me!! ;D
and work in the rain!you ll feel better once your home and dry with a nice wedge in your pocket/bank account. :)