Clean It Up
UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: DG Cleaning on October 02, 2013, 09:40:20 pm
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My brother in law has been kicked out by is girlfriend, currently he stays with his sister.
The words I would use to describe him as a person I can't put on here ;D
Although he does have job he's lazy, irresponsible, tells lies
like they are going out of fashion generally untrustworthy.
Nothings his fault even when he got drunk and drove head on into another car he blamed the other driver despite claiming to have no recollection of the incident.
He's on his backside, can't afford a place to live etc.
However he has a lovely 3 year old son same as me and it would appear he's trying to be a good father.
Its for this reason I'm attempting to set him up as a window cleaner.
I'm going to let him have a small round very cheap he can pay me when he's able.
I'm going lend him all my stuff so no outlay for him.
I'm even going to do the round with him and train him up.
Yet I can see nothing but grief for me I hope I'm wrong.
Would you do the same or just let him stand on his own 2 feet like I think I should?
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did he ask you- if so good on you for helping him out
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Sounds like you know its gonna be trouble
Save yourself all that grief and just buy his son all the things he needs like cloths toys and food
Your just going to lose customers, equipment, and end up supporting your bro and his family anyway. If you can afford to lose it then go ahead, but you may find you get dragged down like him then you and yours will have nothing to fall back on as it's been given away.
How does your other half feel about this business idea?
Daran
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Although he does have job he's lazy, irresponsible, tells lies
like they are going out of fashion generally untrustworthy.
Youv already answerd your question
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Sounds like you know its gonna be trouble
Save yourself all that grief and just buy his son all the things he needs like cloths toys and food
Your just going to lose customers, equipment, and end up supporting your bro and his family anyway. If you can afford to lose it then go ahead, but you may find you get dragged down like him then you and yours will have nothing to fall back on as it's been given away.
I won't lose customers because the work will be his.
Also he's not getting his hands on my wfp stuff he's starting trad.
However the work is right next to mine I'd prefer a bit of distance between us tbh.
How does your other half feel about this business idea?
Daran
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did he ask you- if so good on you for helping him out
No I offered, my wife talked him into it a bit when I wasn't there.
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He's already got a job, hasn't he?
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good on you too offer...but hopefully he will duck out at the last mo
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NO!NO!NO!
seriously mate he needs to learn from his own experiences and man up to his own responsibilities.he has not asked you and doesnt seem to want to change his job so why are you bothering?
if he approached you sincerely and said he wanted to change his ways and try window cleaning then maybe but its your missus trying to make his mind up for him.
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Run, Forrest Run. And don't look back.
The very notion!
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Fair play to you dg. Top respect, family is family nomatter what and if you can help in anyway to make other family members do better without hurting your own pocket too much then go for it..
If you get him up and running just say all thats in it for you is the business if he chucks it in to get another job or decides its not for him... It will be a nice nest egg for yourself in the long run and for the meantime a worthwhile income for your brother in law to support his family.
Worst case scenario is that you will end up with a lot of extra work...
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NO!NO!NO!
seriously mate he needs to learn from his own experiences and man up to his own responsibilities.he has not asked you and doesnt seem to want to change his job so why are you bothering?
if he approached you sincerely and said he wanted to change his ways and try window cleaning then maybe but its your missus trying to make his mind up for him.
I'm hoping he does man up as this is the first time work wise he's had to think for himself.
I'm hoping it dawns on him this is an opportunity to build a decent life for him and his lad.
When I say work it's only about half a day for him but if he wants he can build it up he can
It's his round I'm not being too charitable one of the reasons I'm getting shut is because the houses all have slate cladding on both sides and they drip for ages causing marks downstairs.
I have to do all the tops then go back round them and do the bottoms it doesn't take too much extra but it's a pain in winter when it seems to drip forever.
It's fairly safe to do trad has there are a lot of lawns involved.
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Yeah, it's always preferable to fall onto a lawn ;D.
You can't run this bloke's life for him. If he wants it, let him have it, but don't expect too much.
When you expect people to live up to your standards, you often get disappointed.
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There's something called 'idiot compassion' and I think it applies in this case.
Some folk (and I'm one of them) only learn through pain and suffering; when it gets bad enough, we do something to change.
My suggestion would be to let your brother do what he does and he'll keep on getting what he's always gotten. After reality has smashed him in enough, hopefully he'll change.
Often trying to be kind in situations like this delays the inevitable and you don't end up helping anyone.
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DG, only you and your wife, really know the situation with your brother-in-law? What you are trying to do in helping him is really praiseworthy. You know the risks you are willing to take in helping your brother-in-law. if he really is willing to work at window cleaning and is determined to get his life back on track with your help and support, then you will have helped change his life for the better.
However, and I speak from personal experience, be prepared for some let-downs and much personal stress and worry along the way to his recovery. My advice to you and your family is be prepared for some difficult times ahead in this venture and be prepared to support your brother-in-law in many more ways than you may be prepared for at the moment. Above all you must not let his problems affect your life and drag you down with him. I wish you all the best in this venture and hope it succeeds for all of you.
Good luck Phil
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If it wasn't for his lad he'd be getting no help from me.
But since I became a parent a take a different view on life.
My plan if he sticks to it is to hold his hand first couple of times he does it then hopefully leave him to it.
After all its only a few hours work a month. ;D
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It probably will cause you grief for the reasons that have already been outlined.
However, your intentions and kindness are very refreshing and highly commendable !
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DG - I think you know the answer to your questions already.
Good luck though and good on you for trying help.
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Time will tell. But with winter coming it'll be all over by Christmas.
Hopefully be proved wrong and not only is he doing all the work you gave him but built up a nice big healthy round to run along side yours.. :)
Darran
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test his resolve by getting him to canvass with you - if he cant be bothered to canvass then he ont be bothered to clean windows :)
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My brother in law has been kicked out by is girlfriend, currently he stays with his sister.
The words I would use to describe him as a person I can't put on here ;D
Although he does have job he's lazy, irresponsible, tells lies
like they are going out of fashion generally untrustworthy.
Nothings his fault even when he got drunk and drove head on into another car he blamed the other driver despite claiming to have no recollection of the incident.
He's on his backside, can't afford a place to live etc.
However he has a lovely 3 year old son same as me and it would appear he's trying to be a good father.
Its for this reason I'm attempting to set him up as a window cleaner.
I'm going to let him have a small round very cheap he can pay me when he's able.
I'm going lend him all my stuff so no outlay for him.
I'm even going to do the round with him and train him up.
Yet I can see nothing but grief for me I hope I'm wrong.
Would you do the same or just let him stand on his own 2 feet like I think I should?
will this cause me grief............ooohhh yes
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The question is do you have the time to do all this? I would take him on your round canvassing and cleaning for you. That way he is helping build your round and if he sticks at it and likes it then you can help him out.
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Sounds familiar to my brother. I believe you should give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance; you never know, he might really appreciate the opportunity and grab it with both hands.
If he does stick to it you could take a % of what he earns for all the help you gave him, then him & his son are happy whilst you're receiving a nice second income.
On the other hands if he fails then you have a chunk of work you can sell.
Good luck either way, you might get lucky for being so kind.
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If he decides to do it once he's paid me it will be his work to do with as he pleases, I won't be taking anything from it.
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To be honest i used to work for my uncles Window cleaning business and did well, then he let me buy a van and rent some work... But i was 17 and obly did what i had to do so let a few customers down here and there, wich ended up him taking work back and me having to go it alone!
I regret been so lazy be because i could of had alot more work by now, however my business is starting to grow how i want it to:)
Just be prepared for a few family issues, but one day when he realises there i money to be made he might might love it
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Does anyone else think DG is just trying to get shut of some work? ;D
I mean, it's half a day and he's got a job already. Someone taking up window cleaning isn't going to just change personality.
And it's trad; people usually jump on others considering starting off trad.
But at least you're trying to help, DG. The thing is, he might not see it like that or might not be the type to make it work.
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Didnt realise it was trad... He might not want to do it now :P
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Does anyone else think DG is just trying to get shut of some work? ;D
I mean, it's half a day and he's got a job already. Someone taking up window cleaning isn't going to just change personality.
And it's trad; people usually jump on others considering starting off trad.
But at least you're trying to help, DG. The thing is, he might not see it like that or might not be the type to make it work.
As I said earlier I'm not being too charitable the work doesn't really suit the pole.
However if he hadnt have been in a fix I'd have happily kept it.
Also. I could have sold it for double what he's getting it for.
No its not going to change his life but it will help and there is scope to earn more of he choses which he can't in his full time job.
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I would say, only do it if you can afford to lose the work, the money and the equipment. Only give to the degree where it won't hurt you if you don't get it back. When I say "hurt" I'm not just referring to financial loss either.
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First day today was going to train him up and show him the work this afternoon when he finished work.
I got a text mid morning "can't come I've not got enough petrol"
Already this was testing my patience.
So I explained that we'd work together and I'd give him some money to call at the garage on the way home.
So he said "I'll come if you want then"
I had to bite my lip at that one ;D
Gets a call, "I've just taken a workmate home first and then run out of petrol" all this despite knowing he couldn't do both trips.
Think he wanted me to pick him up.
Just told him fair enough I'm continuing work.
His soft hearted sister came put of work to get him some
petrol and I get another call asking if he could come.
So we did less than half the houses I'd planned and he walked home with less than half what he would have.
Afterwards I let him have it and told him a few home truths.
He said he wants to do the work himself next month but we'll see.
So yes it is causing me grief already ::)roll
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do you really want to be dragged down to this guys level ?
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best of luck with that ;)
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were his eyes half shut when you met up with him . or bright eyed and keen as mustard to crack on ???
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were his eyes half shut when you met up with him . or bright eyed and keen as mustard to crack on ???
He was awake, barely ;D
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DG , some people in life just need pointing in the right direction , however some need kicking up the backside. Do what you can for him but there has to be a point when enough is enough . Only you can answer that ! You have painted a negative image of your brother in law and as others as mentioned i think the winter months, will make him or break him. Good Luck Ed
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You obviously feel obliged to help him out so continue to do so.
Give him a week, or maybe two weeks. Don't let him out on his own!
If he's still no good then dump him (nicely).
At least then you can genuinely say you gave him the opportunity, but unfortunately it didn't work.
No one can say you didn't try to help him.
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This could be the chance he needs to sort his self out. Big respect for giving him a chance thats all some people need a bit of a push and direction if he fs it up then thats his problem and you can say you tried Good luck and i hope he proves to you that you made the right decision.
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I admire your intent, I really do, but there is no way I would have done what you have done for him. BUT, I don't think you are helping him in any way, looking at how you describe him, I would say helping him in this way is just perpetuating his notion that everyone owes him (and SHOULD help him), and that he should get something for nothing, and he shouldn't have to take responsibility for his own action, or his son's well-being.
I wouldn't give my own son a job with his attitude towards work, he is a lazy s**t, like most of todays youths (sorry, but that is just how it is). I wouldn't see him out on the street, but there is no way I would let him clean my customers windows unless he really bucked up his ideas and proved to me he was interested in putting in the effort to do the job properly.
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I admire your intent, I really do, but there is no way I would have done what you have done for him. BUT, I don't think you are helping him in any way, looking at how you describe him, I would say helping him in this way is just perpetuating his notion that everyone owes him (and SHOULD help him), and that he should get something for nothing, and he shouldn't have to take responsibility for his own action, or his son's well-being.
I wouldn't give my own son a job with his attitude towards work, he is a lazy s**t, like most of todays youths (sorry, but that is just how it is). I wouldn't see him out on the street, but there is no way I would let him clean my customers windows unless he really bucked up his ideas and proved to me he was interested in putting in the effort to do the job properly.
Thanks Simon I agree with most everything you said.
If he does have the work they will be his customers not mine.
If it wasn't for the fact he's got a lovely 3 year old lad he wouldn't be getting any help from me.
On a brighter note he did thank me for the opportunity via text earlier.
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But they were YOUR customers, whether you realise it or not, if he does a bad job or becomes unreliable then these people are going to be ringing you up to come and do them or worse say that DG cleaning used to be great but passed us onto to some useless relative blah blah... Then your rep gets tarnished through an effort to help others.
Darran
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But they were YOUR customers, whether you realise it or not, if he does a bad job or becomes unreliable then these people are going to be ringing you up to come and do them or worse say that DG cleaning used to be great but passed us onto to some useless relative blah blah... Then your rep gets tarnished through an effort to help others.
Darran
Ah I get your point
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has he got a drink and drug problem by any chance?
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has he got a drink and drug problem by any chance?
No he likes a drink but can't afford it and doesn't seem to miss it.
He's just slack.
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I admire your intent, I really do, but there is no way I would have done what you have done for him. BUT, I don't think you are helping him in any way, looking at how you describe him, I would say helping him in this way is just perpetuating his notion that everyone owes him (and SHOULD help him), and that he should get something for nothing, and he shouldn't have to take responsibility for his own action, or his son's well-being.
I wouldn't give my own son a job with his attitude towards work, he is a lazy s**t, like most of todays youths (sorry, but that is just how it is). I wouldn't see him out on the street, but there is no way I would let him clean my customers windows unless he really bucked up his ideas and proved to me he was interested in putting in the effort to do the job properly.
I couldn't of put it better myself im 21 and most of my mates have full times jobs or go to uni... the unemployed ones are work shy, bone idol, sponging, lazy people. However they seem to go on more nights out than me, they all manage to smoke and when ever I offer them a day or 2 work the answer is ( I will let you know)
ooh because I forgot the amount of jobs coming your way is beyond control :o :o :o ::)roll
This country needs to man up and instead of giving people £70 a week dole they should get food tokens and be made to pick dog poop up, genuinely feel sorry for the people who want work but I know fine well if I ever had to find a job I would have one within a week
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I admire your intent, I really do, but there is no way I would have done what you have done for him. BUT, I don't think you are helping him in any way, looking at how you describe him, I would say helping him in this way is just perpetuating his notion that everyone owes him (and SHOULD help him), and that he should get something for nothing, and he shouldn't have to take responsibility for his own action, or his son's well-being.
I wouldn't give my own son a job with his attitude towards work, he is a lazy s**t, like most of todays youths (sorry, but that is just how it is). I wouldn't see him out on the street, but there is no way I would let him clean my customers windows unless he really bucked up his ideas and proved to me he was interested in putting in the effort to do the job properly.
I couldn't of put it better myself im 21 and most of my mates have full times jobs or go to uni... the unemployed ones are work shy, bone idol, sponging, lazy people. However they seem to go on more nights out than me, they all manage to smoke and when ever I offer them a day or 2 work the answer is ( I will let you know)
ooh because I forgot the amount of jobs coming your way is beyond control :o :o :o ::)roll
This country needs to man up and instead of giving people £70 a week dole they should get food tokens and be made to pick dog poop up, genuinely feel sorry for the people who want work but I know fine well if I ever had to find a job I would have one within a week
Lol thats coz your a poof lol..at 21 i was out everynight without a care in the world... Fair play to you for having your head screwed on though..it is a lot harder than your making out to find a job though nowadays however i get what your saying as it has evolved a lot of cant be bothered brigades the last 10 years.
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But they were YOUR customers, whether you realise it or not, if he does a bad job or becomes unreliable then these people are going to be ringing you up to come and do them or worse say that DG cleaning used to be great but passed us onto to some useless relative blah blah... Then your rep gets tarnished through an effort to help others.
Darran
Exactly my take on it.
Your customers would be happier to see you have a part time helper, (to help him out) and even put up with some of his shoddy work while you are training him up, if they think it is helping you.
You sir are the King of pain, its gonna hurt whatever, but best of luck.
Tony
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Hi mick, i am out most weekends i do love a good night out! And spend my hard earned money. By finding a job within a week i didnt mean a job that i wanted to do for the rest of my life, i meant a job that would keep the bills payed! Thats the problem with the youth they all want jobs they want to do forever, when the reality is its hard getting one of them.
I have a sister who is work shy nearly 18 and i have printer her several cvs off, and people have told her were to hand them ( coop, local pub, hairdressers, Mercedes admin) has she dropped them off yet? Of course not lol
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I took on a young lad part time a few years ago. He was the son of a friend, and he had had a couple of jobs which hadn't worked out. He was a nice enough lad, polite, the customers liked him, and his work was generally ok. My biggest problem was his sick record, and his unwillingness to be flexible within reason, oh and constantly being on his mobile while we were working.
In the end, after another layoff of around 3 weeks, he rang me to say he wouldn't be in as he was helping a friend of his with a project of some kind. I wished him the very best and thanked him for his help, but that I would now be downsizing my run, therefore would no longer have enough work for the two of us. This was actually true, as I was selling my run off in stages in preparation to our move to Ireland a few months later, but I started doing it sooner, rather than later.
Would I employ again? Not on your nelly.
John
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Hows the brother in law doing ;D did it work out?