Clean It Up

UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: Ian101 on December 14, 2011, 07:29:29 pm

Title: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: Ian101 on December 14, 2011, 07:29:29 pm
Cleaned a house Monday which has had a new side gate fitted when there wasnt one before.

Bolted at top so reached over undid bolt, cleaned rear and side windows, closed gate and rebolted it.

Left slip and envelope.

Jobs a goodin  :)

Phone call when in Staples before on way home.

RING RING

Hello H2o Window Cleaning

Is that the window cleaner - very agressive tone

Yes - H2o Window Cleaning  ::)

This is Mrs Snotty Biatch from 7 Sofarupmyownarse Avenue - snotty tone
Im confused and need you to explain something to me- sarcastic AND snotty tone

Ok ?? ??

I have a slip here to say you have cleaned my windows on Monday - smug tone

Yes thats right I did clean them

WELL THEN tell me how you managed to clean around the back when Ive had a new gate fitted AND IT WAS BOLTED !!!!!!!!!! - Agressive Tone

I reached over and slid the bolt, cleaned them and then rebolted the gate

So you didnt climb over the gate as I dont want it damaged, you managed to reach over it to the bolt ??

I dont climb over peoples gates as I dont want to cause any damage.

HMMMMM oh ok


rather than leave it there though as she obviously thought she was talking to a stooopid window cleaner I went into articulate volcabulary mode instead.

" Well Mrs Snotty Biatch Im so glad we cleared up that little bit of confusion, at H2o Window Cleaning customer satisfaction is our priority and I do hope that we have exceeded your expections and I would like to take this oppertunity to wish you and your family a glorious Christmas and a prosperous New Year - Thankyou for the call"

Did get a funny look from the shelf stacker at Staples though :)


Dont think I will be cleaning them in Feb as dont like customers who dont trust me and try and talk down to me

Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: Richard iSparkle on December 14, 2011, 07:34:09 pm
loving the ongoing  commentaries on your customers ian!  i had a complaint in the office today, not to me as i was out, the customer was calling to complain that my voice was too low and she couldnt understand me.  she wasnt even joking or apologetic!  just annoyed with me about my low voice.  nobody has EVER said that to me before  ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: Ian101 on December 14, 2011, 07:37:22 pm
Huntington - think theyre summit special
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: bobplum on December 14, 2011, 07:48:48 pm
Huntington - think theyre summit special

 i will have it ;D ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: bad trippy on December 14, 2011, 08:04:24 pm
In cases like this, i always leave a card out back under a rock or something that will weight it down, then also put the usual invoice through the door
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: stuart mc on December 14, 2011, 08:13:42 pm
guarantee if you go back there will be a lock fitted, so you do the front and then they start can you call the night before blah blah, it is ok for one clean then they forget blah blah blah, DUMP ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: CleartechLee on December 14, 2011, 08:22:53 pm
haha love the posts mate keep it up..

only thing to top that would be to have the conversation in person just to see her face  ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: AS Window Cleaning on December 14, 2011, 09:27:36 pm
lol, very nice.  Had a few of those who get so on their high horse!  And then have to back track when they realise that you have arms, and a simple bolt at the top of the gate isnt going to stop you cleaning them!

Kill em with kindness mate!  and then dump their carcasses!!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: GB Window Cleaning on December 14, 2011, 10:09:00 pm
 ;D nice one ian, and yeah it sounds like a big fat dump could be on the cards unless theres an apology  :P
and defo a price increase in jan  ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: jonboywalton75 on December 15, 2011, 06:31:20 am
I had one old cow yesterday tell me she hates that machine that wets everything.
I asked here how she goes on when it rains.
She said "but thats nature. :o
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: dazmond on December 15, 2011, 07:05:11 am
ian its hardly a major problem!!just be polite and keep her if its a good paying account!

the main problem is window cleaners have a bad rep in general.you are an exception and so are most on here who have a professional attitude to their business.she might be irritating at times but if we all dumped customers at the slightest irritation we d only have a few customers left!!

dont get to far up your own arse yourself!!your only a low life poxy window cleaner!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: Ian101 on December 15, 2011, 07:18:57 am


dont get to far up your own arse yourself!!your only a low life poxy window cleaner!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

do you know who I am ?  :o :o :o

haha good advice Daz
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: AuRavelling79 on December 15, 2011, 07:34:27 am
Good one Ian - keep 'em coming!

loving the ongoing  commentaries on your customers ian!  i had a complaint in the office today, not to me as i was out, the customer was calling to complain that my voice was too low and she couldnt understand me.  she wasnt even joking or apologetic!  just annoyed with me about my low voice.  nobody has EVER said that to me before  ;D

Speak up Richard I can't hear you!

Actually do you think she was having a joke at the expense of your surname? ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: Richard iSparkle on December 15, 2011, 07:39:12 am
Good one Ian - keep 'em coming!

loving the ongoing  commentaries on your customers ian!  i had a complaint in the office today, not to me as i was out, the customer was calling to complain that my voice was too low and she couldnt understand me.  she wasnt even joking or apologetic!  just annoyed with me about my low voice.  nobody has EVER said that to me before  ;D

Speak up Richard I can't hear you!

Actually do you think she was having a joke at the expense of your surname? ;D

 :) she is a nutter to be honest!  ;D
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: Londoner on December 15, 2011, 08:08:21 am
I have had a few customers challenge me over how I did the backs but a simple explaination and the are OK, no need to dump them.
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: VSP Home Care on December 15, 2011, 11:03:25 am
Nice story mate, you could have gone one step further and offered her a security audit of her property  ;D

Tell here that if you want it to be half secure put the damn bolt where the handle is and not where it can be reached  ;)

Then tell her that you'd be happy to price the additional security updates to her property.  I'd see it as extra work on my list.

Silly bint probably paid someone a small fortune to fit it for her, incorrectly  ;)
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: Paul Coleman on December 15, 2011, 11:44:10 am
I've had similar myself.  That's when they discover that it is posible for me to lean over from a stepladder and hook a crowbar around the bolt.  I used to use a claw hammer but they are a bit short for some gates.  It doesn't look great carrying a crowbar to someone's gate but it is the best tool for that part of the job.  I even got tax relief on the crowbar as it's the only thing I use it for.
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: AS Window Cleaning on December 15, 2011, 12:19:08 pm
I use a sqweegee blade.....hold it at end and can reach most bolts if they're not too stuff. looks less thugish abd your less likely to get arrested for carrying a tool of your trade!
Title: Re: Phone call from Mrs Snotty Biatch this evening
Post by: jonboywalton75 on December 15, 2011, 12:37:38 pm
I hav broke loads of gates.
All part of the fun ;D