AuRavelling79

  • Posts: 23652
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #40 on: October 17, 2008, 06:16:07 pm »
Why does Wor Lass need to use a crowbar?
It's a game of three halves!

pingu

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #41 on: October 17, 2008, 06:36:42 pm »
Spiders all over the windows...now if I were to build some little habitats for the spiders at each location do you think they would use them and how much time would I save cleaning each day?

Dave.

Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #42 on: October 17, 2008, 06:40:23 pm »
Why does Wor Lass need to use a crowbar?

It's a metaphor for 'leverage' in the form of nagging, Malc!

'Get off that computer you geek and come and see to my needs*; now!', shouts Wor Lass.

'Groan!  Do I have to; again?  I'm knackered', Me.

So by nagging, she 'crowbars' me into bed!

*This may just involve rubbing her feet... but depending on her mood, it may involve more messy stuff.  ::)

Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #43 on: October 17, 2008, 06:50:51 pm »
Spiders all over the windows...now if I were to build some little habitats for the spiders at each location do you think they would use them and how much time would I save cleaning each day?

Dave.

Pingu,

It's good to see that you're thinking 'outside of the box', but you're using the wrong approach.

There's nothing you can do about spiders; personally I hate them; I nearly dropped an account recently because I walked face first into a massive spider's web and screamed like a little girl.

So, what you've got to do for 'spider-heavy-accounts' is get them prices up.  Remember, the only reason your customer pays you is because they'd rather be doing other stuff than cleaning windows; especially ones covered in spiders and their sticky mess.

And the more hideous the task, the more money you should charge. 

For example, Take brain surgery.  That job pays very well, but you have to touch people's brains all day.  I don't know about you, but I'm sufficiently frightened by what comes out of people's mouths and noses; I'm sure I don't want my fingers any closer to the source of all this snot and gunk. 

And although I haven't tried brain surgery, I know I wouldn't enjoy any activity that involves saws and human skulls.

So take a leaf out of a brain surgeon's book and charge well for doing unpleasant tasks.

Next...

poles apart

  • Posts: 664
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #44 on: October 17, 2008, 07:04:14 pm »
Tosh
When I'm passing through Chepstow on my way to Lydney would it be poor etiquette to stop and canvass a few jobs to help pay the fuel?
Rod

Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #45 on: October 17, 2008, 07:16:20 pm »
Tosh
When I'm passing through Chepstow on my way to Lydney would it be poor etiquette to stop and canvass a few jobs to help pay the fuel?
Rod

No, Rod, not at all; canvass away.

In fact a good place to canvass would be a place called Mynyddbach (pronounced 'Minith-Back (you may have to add a noise as if you're clearing your throat at the end of the name))'  (I'm sure the Welsh are a dyslexic nation)); it's quite a posh area just outside of Chepstow; but make sure you take your ladders with you while you canvass; I bet you get loads!

Apparantly the locals there don't like their current WFP user, but that's not surprising considering he's ging-ger and balding. ;D

Fill your boots.

Next...


poles apart

  • Posts: 664
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #46 on: October 17, 2008, 07:22:40 pm »
Tosh
When I'm passing through Chepstow on my way to Lydney would it be poor etiquette to stop and canvass a few jobs to help pay the fuel?
Rod

No, Rod, not at all; canvass away.

In fact a good place to canvass would be a place called Mynyddbach (pronounced 'Minith-Back (you may have to add a noise as if you're clearing your throat at the end of the name))'  (I'm sure the Welsh are a dyslexic nation)); it's quite a posh area just outside of Chepstow; but make sure you take your ladders with you while you canvass; I bet you get loads!

Apparantly the locals there don't like their current WFP user, but that's not surprising considering he's ging-ger and balding. ;D

Fill your boots.


Next...



Thanks for that but I really need some decent paying jobs and I hear that he's barely scraping a living!
Rod

Sir Squeaky

  • Posts: 8341
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #47 on: October 17, 2008, 07:48:07 pm »
 ::)

Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #48 on: October 17, 2008, 07:56:46 pm »
Next...

Paul Coleman

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #49 on: October 17, 2008, 11:16:47 pm »
Why does Wor Lass need to use a crowbar?

To open Tosh's wallet?

garyj

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #50 on: October 18, 2008, 10:53:01 pm »
It is Saturday night and I am in on my own (well might as well be!) if I took up window cleaning would I have a data base of single women I could "pop around and see"?

Is it true that window cleaners are employed more for their looks and size of their pole rather than the ability to clean windows or is this just a 1970s myth ???

AuRavelling79

  • Posts: 23652
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #51 on: October 19, 2008, 10:05:08 pm »
Tosh, if I poured a bottle of "clearasil" in my water tank would it get rid of any spots?
It's a game of three halves!

Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #52 on: October 20, 2008, 05:16:38 pm »
Only if you wash your face in it:

A picture of Malc taken yesturday:




Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #53 on: October 20, 2008, 05:18:18 pm »
Next...

AuRavelling79

  • Posts: 23652
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #54 on: October 20, 2008, 06:27:37 pm »
Dear Moderators,

I wish to complain about your biased attitude! I notice you allow Tosh to put up a photo of me (he must have smuggled it out of my wedding day album of 20 years ago) and yet when I put up a perfectly decent poll about why he isn't attentive to his wife it gets "pulled" !

Yours faithfully,



Malc Acne
It's a game of three halves!

d s windowcleaning

  • Posts: 2782
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #55 on: October 20, 2008, 09:40:24 pm »
can you start working for me 3 days per week im not going to pay you for this but you will have boosted my income .
where theres muck theres money

Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #56 on: October 21, 2008, 06:25:17 pm »
can you start working for me 3 days per week im not going to pay you for this but you will have boosted my income .

Dear David,

In answer to your question, it’s a shame this isn’t 175 years-ago and I’m not a dark-skinned gentleman, otherwise I would have worked for free!

However, due to the 1833 Slavery Abolition Act this is no longer feasible, but there are ‘work-arounds’ to this law that are often utilised by the building trade and McDonald restaurants. 

So, what you’ve got to do is put the following ad in your local phone box:
Quote
Wanted: an illegal immigrant, or a Welshman for cleaning windows.  Must work hard for a tax-free-income; cash in hand; no questions asked.  An ability to speak English is preferred, but not essential.  Must own and be able to use all limbs.

Don’t forget to leave your anonymous mobile telephone number with the advertisement.

And ensure you pay him far less than the minimum wage, and you’ll soon be raking it in; big-style!

I know a few members of this forum who do similar (though they prefer ‘The Welsh’ rather than an illegal immigrant (less paper-work aparrantly)); and as the negro slaves used to say, ‘If we weren’t slaves, they’d use the Welsh as slaves’.

So get yourself a Welshman!

Next…

AuRavelling79

  • Posts: 23652
Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #57 on: October 21, 2008, 10:14:43 pm »
Tosh - sorry to be pedantic but slavery was abolished in 1807 in Britain - I know because here in Bristol the "do-gooders" tell us we've all got to wear sackcloth and ashes for the sins of our forefathers.

Except my forefathers in the early 1800's were living in the primordial soup of being in-service and doing other stuff in the gutter at the bottom of the secular food chain - in fact it wasn't until WW1 that my paternal gran got out of it. Then only because she married Grandad who went through the trenches and came out without a scratch on his body but several great scars on his mind.

The new "Cabot Circus" shopping mall in Bristol was going to be called "Merchant's quarter" but some wobbly bosomed Molly Sugden lookalikes on the council didn't want to offend anybody with "Merchant" when you might add the pre-fix "Slave" to it!

I personally would add the suffix "Bankers" after it to describe the waste of council funds that have gone on this self-flagellating nonsense.

Anyway, "Rant" over!  ;D ;D ;D

It wasn't until 1833 that Slavery was abolished in the empire and Wales don't count cuz it was part of England and Wales (and Monmouthshire), so there!
It's a game of three halves!

Tosh

Re: Ask Tosh and Boost Your Income...
« Reply #58 on: October 21, 2008, 11:41:09 pm »
Tosh - sorry to be pedantic...


 ::)

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