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Funny stories!

Posted by Fox (Fox), 27 February 2004
Time we had a laugh - lets swap stories about staff ( and hope none are on here!)  If no staff then clients - they can be just as funny!

Posted by garyj (garyj), 27 February 2004
oh, Gosh. Where DO we begin.
You name it, it happens, and then some.
Think I'll write a book, but will anyone believe it?

Can't wait to see the reply's, just so I know its not just me Smiley
Posted by Fox (Fox), 27 February 2004
Ok I'll start off!

I have a client who doesn't even order paper off us but said that they are using to much toilet roll.

Wanted me to control the usage and asked me what I could do about it!  I've had a few thoughts what do you think?

1.  Put sign up sayin 'only two sheets allowed per bum'
2.  Devise a device that only lets a certain amount of loo roll out at any one sitting.
3.  Have a paper monitor installed like some of the posh loos - so they have pay per sheet!

Reckon any of these would work?
(Serious replies only!  Wink)

Posted by martin_606 (martin_606), 27 February 2004

Just trying to hire my 1st staff...

Contacted her, sounded great, keen, sent her application form, replied, great.

Told her I had her first job, we would do it together so I could see how she worked, let her know what I wanted work wise.

Told me then that she needed paying immediatley after the job as debt problems, house being repossessed etc, etc.

i said will pay at end of the week (which happened to be the next day) ok was the reply.

Another phone call can't/won't do it, have to wait to long for the money.

Then proceeded to phone the wife while i was out and say she didn't want to get in a car with a stranger, don't go round to her house, won't be in etc etc.

all I can really say is...

close call for me, she was nuts!


Martin Cool
Posted by guru (guru), 27 February 2004
on 02/27/04 at 04:11:14, Fox wrote:
Time we had a laugh - lets swap stories about staff ( and hope none are on here!)  If no staff then clients - they can be just as funny!

Grin  Heard about this. Cleaners cleaning bank opened fire exit to next door premises which was a wedding dress shop, 2 lady cleaners looking at dresses door sfuts behind them and they are locked in. Tried shouting to the street below no luck sat on floor and started smoking. 4 hours and a lot of cigarettes later they were discovered and rescued. Manager of wedding dress shop finds shop full of smelly dresses, all had to be dry cleaned. Over £100,000 cleaning bill.
Posted by Les (Les), 27 February 2004
Blimey following Guru's tale of the Wedding dresses I'm ditching the rest of my business and going into 'Dry Cleaning'  Shocked Hubba Bubba £100,000 When can I start  Cheesy Wink
Posted by Les (Les), 27 February 2004
Here's a Larf  Grin
Did some work for an Airline Pilot and his wife an Air Stewardess, (wonder how they met) Huh Grin
I didn't meet them personally but did a Pre-let clean for them in large 5 bedroom property and the ladies did a clean up for them in their New 5 bedroom 5 Bathroom BIG barn conversion. Undecided
They were pleased with the work and wanted us to do a weekly clean but they are a bit outside our area so said "Thanks but No thanks".
Anyway... Sent the invoice & even gave 7 days credit  Shocked...3 weeks later still not paid  Cry  so got on the old one in so left reminder...another 2 weeks, (Now I'm gettin  Angry) rang again & spoke to the ladies mother who explained that they hadn't been able to pay yet as....they'd had a Baby ....aaahhhh.
That's alright then...when I don't pay Express Cleaning next time's because I've had a baby OK !?  Shocked Grin
Anyone else get excuses like this ?
Posted by Anj (Anj), 28 February 2004

Sometimes i wonder what our cleaners really think of their jobs  and why they are working  just after an Audit with my Area Manager we all sat down and had a chat , one of the cleaners had a disagreement with our manager  her reply was " I come in here to clean but the client,s  staff mess and dirty it all up again" Huh !!!! needless to say she never lasted long
Posted by martin_606 (martin_606), 28 February 2004
Just thought of another

I work still full time.

our manager came up to us and said the cleaners are complaining that the staff room is too messy and they are refusing to clean it up every night!

People who work as cleaners should realise that the job description is in the job title.




Martin Cool
Posted by Anj (Anj), 28 February 2004

I now work part time

Posted by Happyeater (Happyeater), 29 February 2004
I got loads of funnies but, rather than tell you about other people, here's one about me.

We won a contract with a headquarters of a building society. Ground, first and second floor, modern building, darkened glass, really posh in fact. Anyway, we wanted to make a big impression from day one, so we concentrated on the reception, kitchens and toilets. There was 4 of us on site and we were cleaning merrily away.

The last people in the building (as always) were the I.T. chaps and as they would always lock up, set alarms etc we told them that we'd finish with them. Well, we were working on the second floor loo's and it was getting a bit late. I sent one of my cleaners to let I.T. know we wouldn't be long and if they were ok with us being a few more minutes.

The cleaner returned and said that everything was fine. We carried on. Suddenly there was this high pitched 'bleeping' noise. We all stopped. I ran out of the toilet to see the IT man walking over to his car, getting in and driving off. The alarms were setting. About 30 seconds later all hell broke loose, the sirens were deafening. All our cleaner had done was put his thumbs up to the last chap in I.T. He thought it meant we were all leaving having finished!!!!

We gathered in the reception, it was so loud we couldn't even shout at each other. Then, they came, 4 police cars, two vans, flashing lights everywhere. They pulled up at the front of the building, about 10 policemen jumped out of their vehicles, they let dogs out of the vans too. Even a crowd started to gather to see what was going on.

The darkened glass prevented them from seeing in, so there was me looking out of the letter box, waving my business card at the coppers at the front with the snarling dogs! A policeman took it, read it, shouted something and walked away! And we waited, and waited......nothing happened. About half an hour later, Group 4 Security arrived (they were the only keyholders) and opened up. Of course, they sent the bloody dogs in first. So there we all were backed into a corner while all these police pile in.

Luckily (apart from the embarrassment) I knew one of the Group 4 lads, we were at the same school. So, after a brief chat with the police, the alarms were re-set and we went home. Luckily the customer thought it was funny, can't think why?  Embarassed
Posted by DP (DP), 29 February 2004
Ok This one about me  Embarassed  (not cleaning but who cares!)
Was returning from an estimate down south with me and an engineer in the car. As we came through a one way system in one of the towns, we found ourselves stopped in traffic right alongside a major bus station with many many people waiting.

Just at that time, my mobile starts to ring, but it wasn’t in the normal place in the car, so we start to look for it, under the seats, over the seats (with bums in the air etc etc). We then noticed that all the people were laughing and we thought “ok” I guess it did look a funny thing to see 2 people do this in a stopped car, and laughed with them but knew we had to find the phone so carried on.

After a short while we both froze and realised where the phone was, it was on the roof of the car jammed in the roof rails in full view of the onlookers.

Extremely embarrassing especially as I got out the car to retrieve it, couldn’t help but take a bow to the rowdy cheer from the crowd.  Grin

Posted by Fox (Fox), 1 March 2004
Right if we are getting into stories about ourselves I will swallow my pride and tell this one!  Embarassed

Just finished work and had a phone call from a friend wanting to come and see me for the evening so I decided to stop at the town center supermarket to get some stuff.  Unfortunately I decided to park down a side street rather than a car park.

I was walking up the road to the main street and heard a bloke shout ' oi love' I thought bloody hell pervs all over the place and ignored him.  As I got to the top of the road someone else joined in so I turned around to see my car in the middle of the road rolling down the hill and two blokes running after it! I'd only gone and left the hand brake off and in neutral! Shocked

I ran down the street after the car shouting "I'ts cause I'm blonde you know" lol - they were in the road holding onto the front of the car like there was no tomorrow! How embarassing!  

If I can tell that then I'm sure you lot won't feel bad telling yours!


Posted by Clean_Waterless (Waterless Car Cleaning Company), 2 March 2004
I was contracted to cleaning a food factory at Heathrow and one of our cleaners was different. Odd intact but you come to expect that every now and again.
Solom and demure would be kind.
One day he was brought up in front of personnel and I was asked to attend. He was being increasingly late and absent.
He explained that he was a DJ so that and the cleaning were making him tired. Fair enough.
He then started to tell us that he had suicidal tendencies and that he tried to top himself!
I asked innocently if he had ever managed it. There was deadly silence!
Well really!!

I think he is running for parliament now!!!!!!!  Lips Sealed

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